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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 4am start every day is unreasonable?

153 replies

tinyissues · 02/04/2023 11:58

DD has a relatively new job which is her first job relating to her degree (has been doing it 3 months).

Issue is it's a 4am start every Monday-Friday! She's such a night owl, so is going to bed at 11pm every night, to get up for 3...

I'm worried she is literally knocking years off her life. She admits she is really tired but just catches up on weekends or takes a nap after work.

AIBU to think this isn't a sustainable job and she needs to find something else?

It's 4-1pm as well so quite long

OP posts:
Chowtime · 02/04/2023 12:00

I think if she's happy doing it and manages to catch up on her sleep with naps and week-end lie-ins then there isn't a problem.

Yeah, she probably could go to bed at 9 instead of 11 but she doesn't want to, she's an adult and she's managing.

UndercoverCop · 02/04/2023 12:01

In my twenties I worked 9am-9:30pm 4 days a week, 9-5 on the fifth, then would go home get changed and do sessional waking night shifts twice a week 10:30pm-8:30am. I also had a good social life. I was fine, she'll be fine, if she gets tired she'll naturally start going to bed earlier

Youdoyoubabe · 02/04/2023 12:03

I mean if it is working on a breakfast radio or tv show then the hours can’t be changed.

I think if is dream job she will get used to timings. Prolly 8 or 9pm bedtime be better.

OldEvilOwl · 02/04/2023 12:04

She's an adult. Lots of people work nights/odd shifts

YouJustDoYou · 02/04/2023 12:04

Lol. She'll survive.

TomatoesAndPeaches · 02/04/2023 12:05

If she stops napping when she gets home, she would get into a better routine of going to sleep earlier

4am-1pm isnt a long day - Thats a normal 9 hour day.

Not sure what you are looking for on here
Its her life, her choices

Nimbostratus100 · 02/04/2023 12:05

lots of jobs have early start times. Of course it is sustainable, she isn't doing long hours, just early hours, and she fits her life in around her job, like everyone else.

Thepeopleversuswork · 02/04/2023 12:05

It’s only a problem if it’s a problem. People need very different levels of sleep. Some people can get by on four/five hours a night, others need eight to function.

For a young person without caring responsibilities and one who could catch up at weekends it’s not automatic that it will impact her health.

I’d be led by your DD. How does she feel?

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 02/04/2023 12:05

If she's tired after work she'll go to sleep earlier than 11pm. She's an adult you need to stop moddingly cuddling her:

CaptainMyCaptain · 02/04/2023 12:06

It's up to her. Not your problem.

toastofthetown · 02/04/2023 12:06

She’s an adult and is capable of figuring out for herself whether her current job is sustainable.

TomatoFrog · 02/04/2023 12:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Hankunamatata · 02/04/2023 12:08

People do it for years. She will learn to go to bed earlier

liveforsummer · 02/04/2023 12:08

Well she'd probably do to go to bed a bit earlier but if she's managing with a nap then that's ok too. Depends on her social life I guess what works. Loads of people work irregular hours, I've done it my self over the years. Worked fine. Yes you're sometimes a bit tired which isn't really a big deal

Newusernameaug · 02/04/2023 12:08

It’s not the job that’s the problem it’s your DD going to bed too late

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 02/04/2023 12:09

I'm going to assume that nobody held a gun to her head and forced her to take a job that required a 4am start?

Yes, she'll be tired so she'll just need to go to bed earlier, or take a nap after work. That's life.

TomatoFrog · 02/04/2023 12:10

This reply has been deleted

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JacobsCrackersCheeseFogg · 02/04/2023 12:10

Not unreasonable for an adult. She must have been told the hours before she started?

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/04/2023 12:11

Shouldn’t be an issue at her age. I worked full time, kept my part time job in a pub 3 nights each week because I enjoyed it and went out most other nights. The joys of being young 😁

WildAloofRebel · 02/04/2023 12:11

The job isn’t unreasonable. If that’s the hours they need then that’s that. I would imagine most people who work those hours would go to bed earlier. She’s in charge of that.

liveforsummer · 02/04/2023 12:17

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/04/2023 12:11

Shouldn’t be an issue at her age. I worked full time, kept my part time job in a pub 3 nights each week because I enjoyed it and went out most other nights. The joys of being young 😁

Isn't it just. For years I worked in horse racing til lunch time with a very early start then did long pub shifts after on some days, getting home at 1am then back up at 5. I would also do freelance riding work in the afternoons on days not in the pub. Couldn't do it now but it was no bother in my early 20's

Womencanlift · 02/04/2023 12:18

The job isn’t unreasonable or unsustainable it’s her sleeping pattern that is. May take some time but she will need to train herself to go to sleep earlier than 11

But at the end of the day it’s her choice - if she wants the job as it’s related to her career then she is old enough to understand all this

L3ThirtySeven · 02/04/2023 12:19

No 4am isn’t unreasonable, what is unreasonable is staying up until 11pm the night before.

dietcokelime · 02/04/2023 12:22

4am - 1pm is the same as 8am-5pm which is a pretty regular shift pattern! If she's tired she'll start going to be earlier 🤷🏻‍♀️

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 02/04/2023 12:24

or takes a nap after work.

If the 'nap' is a decent one, it may be that she's getting a reasonable amount of sleep overall.

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