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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a 4am start every day is unreasonable?

153 replies

tinyissues · 02/04/2023 11:58

DD has a relatively new job which is her first job relating to her degree (has been doing it 3 months).

Issue is it's a 4am start every Monday-Friday! She's such a night owl, so is going to bed at 11pm every night, to get up for 3...

I'm worried she is literally knocking years off her life. She admits she is really tired but just catches up on weekends or takes a nap after work.

AIBU to think this isn't a sustainable job and she needs to find something else?

It's 4-1pm as well so quite long

OP posts:
bussteward · 02/04/2023 12:25

Cut the apron strings: it’s her life. She’ll learn to go to bed earlier if it’s a problem. I did similar shifts in my 20s and it was great: finish at 1 meant I had big lovely afternoons to go to galleries and museums and walks and the pub; got all my mindless life stuff (food shop, laundry) done while houseshare and city was quiet, then had much more free time in the evenings and weekends. Plus I was young so needed less sleep and had boundless energy anyway.

Greenfairydust · 02/04/2023 12:25

I certainly would not want to do these hours.

Sleeping 4 hours a night only is not sustainable and would affect most people's health.

If she really likes the job, she needs to go to bed earlier to get a decent amount of rest.

I would also say it is a bit sad as well that such a young person is missing out on social activities because she is always too tired or/and has to go to bed really early.

CambsAlways · 02/04/2023 12:26

She’s an adult she will cope, if finds it hard go to bed earlier

Choconut · 02/04/2023 12:27

I've read that health wise it's not possible to catch up on your sleep at weekends, not getting enough sleep in the week still takes it's toll. It sounds like these hours don't suit her so it'd be better as a short term opportunity for experience really.

KatherineJaneway · 02/04/2023 12:28

What's the job?

fellrunner85 · 02/04/2023 12:29

Depends what the job is, obviously. If it's breakfast tv or radio, for example, that's totally normal.

dottiedodah · 02/04/2023 12:30

Surely she can nap after work? It May be that these sorts of hours suit her lifestyle ATM. She will have to work it out! If she does want another job then people in paid work will do better when looking for a job than those not working

DarkDarkNight · 02/04/2023 12:31

If these are the hours for the industry then she needs to adjust her lifestyle accordingly. She is an adult, if she needs to get up at 3am she needs to go to bed earlier. I remember interviews with people who present early morning tv shows and they have to be strict with socialising and bedtimes to be at their best.

It may not be sustainable for everyone. It’s a normal length working day but the hours are shifted.

emptythelitterbox · 02/04/2023 12:31

Like others have said, she'll just have to go to bed earlier.

I'm also wondering if it occurred to her while doing the degree, those types of hours might be involved?

Is she a nurse or baker?

ChaToilLeam · 02/04/2023 12:31

Some jobs require early starts, you either go to bed early or you look for another job. Straightforward enough I would have thought?

gogohmm · 02/04/2023 12:34

It's not your problem, but quite frankly she either needs to adjust her bedtime or find a different job. She needs to work this out for herself

ChrisPPancake · 02/04/2023 12:36

I mean it's not longer hours than your average office job is it? Just shifted to start earlier.
If she's happy then it's all good. If she's not managing even with going to bed early then maybe the job's not for her. It's her decision alone though.

Moveforward · 02/04/2023 12:37

Can you imagine if our young graduate medics all had parents like this!

Some.jobs require shift work including nights, and I would say that's worse as there's a moving pattern. My son's partner works for a retailer in the High Street and helps with deliveries so she starts extremely early, and has to be up even earlier to catch teh first bus.

She chose it- let her get on with it!

Beachwalker66 · 02/04/2023 12:39

Similar to my working hours.

I go to bed at 8 though. She needs to start going to bed earlier. or nap in the afternoons when she gets home.

Justmuddlingalong · 02/04/2023 12:40

It's not her employers issue that she's a night owl.
She has to adapt her sleep to do the early mornings rather than have her DM fret on her behalf.

QueSyrahSyrah · 02/04/2023 12:40

She's an adult, if she's tired then she just needs to go to bed earlier.

liveforsummer · 02/04/2023 12:46

Can you imagine if our young graduate medics all had parents like this!

Or those of early morning broadcasters, bakers, delivery drivers or warehouse operatives, early route bus drivers, people working in horse racing industry or many other animal care jobs, all manner of shift workers, farmers, many of whom will be working far longer hours on top of early starts and/or not have the structured times like OP's dd where it's easy to get in to a routine. It really is a non issue

MrsDoylesDoily · 02/04/2023 12:49

She's young and she's got the energy.

I wouldn't give it any more thought OP.

MajorCarolDanvers · 02/04/2023 12:56

She's an adult. She needs to figure this stuff out and make decisions herself now.

00100001 · 02/04/2023 12:59

a 9 hour working day is a long day 😂

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 02/04/2023 13:00

I’ll ask my son who works permanent, 8 hour night shifts and my farmer colleagues who get up 4 milk the cows or tend the sheep, then come to school and do their second job.

redbigbananafeet · 02/04/2023 13:01

tinyissues · 02/04/2023 11:58

DD has a relatively new job which is her first job relating to her degree (has been doing it 3 months).

Issue is it's a 4am start every Monday-Friday! She's such a night owl, so is going to bed at 11pm every night, to get up for 3...

I'm worried she is literally knocking years off her life. She admits she is really tired but just catches up on weekends or takes a nap after work.

AIBU to think this isn't a sustainable job and she needs to find something else?

It's 4-1pm as well so quite long

It's not her job she has to change, it's her sleep pattern. She'll soon discover this for herself when she's knackered and sleeps all weekend to catch up. It's no longer a day than most jobs.

Nosleepforthismum · 02/04/2023 13:04

I agree OP. I’ve told my toddler 4am is a completely unreasonable start to the day and he’s conceded and now allowing a 5am start for the most part.

Honestly, your DD is an adult and if she’s tired she’ll go to bed earlier. Don’t be ridiculous about her needing another job and possibly cut those apron strings.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 02/04/2023 13:07

The simple solution is to go to bed earlier. She doesn't want to. Not a lot else you can do.

candlewicket · 02/04/2023 14:34

Not too early all sorts of jobs may work those hours

Some people finish their shifts at 2am

Bakers can start at 4am

If you have to liaise with a different time zone