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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m 52 and you still ask me

310 replies

ComeOnNumber100 · 02/04/2023 09:58

Lighthearted
Went to visit my parents yesterday and dad asked if I wanted a coffee. I’ve never drunk coffee, I hate coffee, every time I go round and he offers I tell him I don’t like coffee but I’ll have a tea. He’s done it my whole life. AIBU to think it’s not that difficult to remember that your daughter has a cup of tea.
is there something that your parents ask all the time that you have told them repeatedly?
He doesn’t have dementia or anything like that.

OP posts:
Poshjock · 02/04/2023 11:39

Kenwoodmixitup · 02/04/2023 11:33

Yep. The things that drove me potty about my parents I now miss. We are a fickle species. 😘

It's those familiar routines where you know what's coming next. Infuriating but comforting.

I still can't say or hear said "Durham" without thinking "Pink Panther County" and humming the tune because that's what my dad always did when we passed on holiday. Every time I asked him where we were going on holiday he'd say "Timbuktu" or "Ecclefechan" and I still think of this every time someone asks about holidays or mentions either of those places!

NonJeNeRegretteRien · 02/04/2023 11:40

My mum always asks if I’ve got new glasses. They’ve been the same for the last 5 years as I can’t afford a new pair. She asks every single time.

lollipoprainbow · 02/04/2023 11:41

Just be glad you have both your parents at 52. My dad died when I was 14 what I'd give for him to ask me if I'd like a cup of coffee.

ciderhouserules · 02/04/2023 11:43

Stop complaining about your dad! I wish mine is still alive to ask me for coffee just appreciate what you've got in life. - genuinly sorry you lost a lovely dad, but I can guarantee that IF he were still alive, you'd be ripping the piss out of his loving little ways.

I've been NC with my cold, selfish and disinterested father for over 30 years, and I can't remember a single time he 'light-heatedly' did something like OP's dad did. I don't want to remember any - if they even ever happened.

See the difference?

Op is remembering with love.
I don't.

IncompleteSenten · 02/04/2023 11:44

Say yes, see what he says. 😁

PortiaWithNoBreaks · 02/04/2023 11:44

Love this thread. It’s heartwarming. My mum always asks me if I’d like some porridge. I screw my face up and say yuck then she says how much I loved porridge as a baby. I’m 57!

BronwenFrideswide · 02/04/2023 11:45

My dad, from a random comment, decided my favourite biscuits were a certain type of biscuit, now I like them but wouldn't say they were my favourite but every time I visited he would make sure he had some of those biscuits in for me. Since he died I buy them in memory of him and smile every time.

WhatTheHeckyPeck · 02/04/2023 11:46

Poshjock · 02/04/2023 11:39

It's those familiar routines where you know what's coming next. Infuriating but comforting.

I still can't say or hear said "Durham" without thinking "Pink Panther County" and humming the tune because that's what my dad always did when we passed on holiday. Every time I asked him where we were going on holiday he'd say "Timbuktu" or "Ecclefechan" and I still think of this every time someone asks about holidays or mentions either of those places!

Show quote history

Whenever we went on holiday and we were almost at our destination, if a line of cars passed us coming from the opposite direction dad would always say, "well it can't be any good there, they're all coming back". I used to say this to DD when we were going on holiday and, funnily enough, she would give me the same groan and eyeroll as I did to dad. 😃

Theunamedcat · 02/04/2023 11:49

My dad told me he had a brain scan "did they find anything dad?" No dear they didn't find a single thing.....(took me a few minutes for the penny to drop)

Tea or coffee? Either I'm not fussed (pick one dad just CHOOSE! 😂🤐)

Then there are all the quaint names for local places (local people will get them but strangers look at you like your taking the piss) whenever he is giving directions to people you go left up the butt's.....🧐

Love the old man

VWHoliday · 02/04/2023 11:50

Xrays · 02/04/2023 11:24

I’ve just remembered a funny one about my Mum… She always thought I fancied Olly Murs 😳 I have no idea why. I mean each to their own but he’s not my cup of tea AT ALL, but for some reason every single time he’d come on the radio or TV she’d be like “oooo you love him don’t you” and no amount of me saying otherwise would change it. One year she even got me an Olly Murs calendar for Christmas 😆😳 I had to put it up in the kitchen so I didn’t seem rude so I had 365 days of his face - well I would have done if I didn’t hide it in the drawer when she visited. She died in 2019 and every year since my dh and Ds get me Olly Murs calendars at Christmas 🎄😆

This is such a funny and cute story.

ToffeeNotCoffee · 02/04/2023 11:51

My Dad liked liquorice Allsorts. I hate aniseed. He would inevitably offer me one if he had a packet.

I do not like cold drinks at breakfast i.e. orange juice (maybe make an exception for Buck Fizz !) Any time DH and I stay in a hotel, he will go to get himself some juice and ask, 'do you want orange juice ?' No thanks, I reply. Not worth getting aerated about it.

sonjadog · 02/04/2023 11:51

As it happens, today is the anniversary of my Dad's death. He drove me spare some times. Both in funny and not so funny ways. One of his tricks was, when at the end of his life and in a nursing home, when I phoned and said "Hey Dad, it's me, your daughter" he would respond with "Who? Whose daughter?" even when he knew very well who I was. So I could never tell if he actually didn't remember or he was pretending to, just to be annoying.

I have never understood the need to pretend people were never annoying/frustrating/whatever just because they are dead. I would rather remember people as the imperfect humans they were. My Dad wasn't the perfect guy or father by any means, but that was him.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/04/2023 11:51

My mum forgets that I hate carrots!

Original poster
ComeOnNumber100 · 02/04/2023 11:51

pinkflamingo83 · 02/04/2023 11:39

I literally never comment OP, but this made me feel really bad for you. My Dad died unexpectedly last year and I have loved this thread, it is absolutely lighthearted and funny x

Show quote history
Flowers
OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 02/04/2023 11:52

Tryphenia · 02/04/2023 10:13

Yes, but I find my parents seem to operate according to the ideas they formed about me in early childhood, which were possibly never true, certainly weren’t by the time I was in my teens, and definitely aren’t now that I’m 50.

There is definitely some truth in this!

VickyEadieofThigh · 02/04/2023 11:52

My parents are both now gone (I lost Dad at Xmas) but I have memories of exactly these things: do you take sugar in your tea (haven't since I was 12)? do you want a cup of tea with your meal (haven't since I was a teenager)? do you want salad cream on your salad (haven't since I got food poisoning from a meal with salad cream - so it makes me feel nauseous by association - when I was 15)? do you want a cup of cocoa and a biscuit before bed (never, not once in my life have a said yes to this)?

I once said to my Mum, when she asked me the sugar in tea question when I was about 55, "Hello, I don't think we can have met before..."

pinkyredrose · 02/04/2023 11:53

Manopadmanaban · 02/04/2023 10:26

Stop complaining about your dad! I wish mine is still alive to ask me for coffee just appreciate what you've got in life.

Show quote history

Right on cue.

The post was lighthearted!

Aprilx · 02/04/2023 11:54

My mother asked me was I allergic to nuts when I was 35.

LighterNights · 02/04/2023 11:57

My mum asked me what I wanted for my 56th birthday recently and then said I'm not giving you money as you won't get anything, she has said this to me nearly every year since I was 24 when I bought my first house and spend my birthday money in the electric bill. It's not ironically either, she means it.

Nottogetapenny · 02/04/2023 11:57

My husband dad always asks my husband if he would like a cup of coffee, yes please he says I like it black! Ok son I’ll put extra coffee in it! No matter how many times my husband says no dad no milk!

Toddlerteaplease · 02/04/2023 11:58

I love Brussel sprouts, as does my
Mum. But my sister hates them. Every year, she asks who wants sprouts. When my sister says no, she puts on an injured expression and voice and starts calling them baby cabbages. My sister is immune to this. Grin

Hankunamatata · 02/04/2023 11:59

I automatically ask everyone if they would like a cup of tea. I'm trying to go with would you like a cuppa

VWHoliday · 02/04/2023 12:00

FranksOcean · 02/04/2023 11:17

My thoughts exactly! The crap people moan about is ridiculous

Show quote history

It's lighthearted and the stories are sweet.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/04/2023 12:01

@CanIbeRio I feel your pain. I hate gravy on things. Making all the food soggy. Same goes for custard. I get the same grief about it.

CantBeArsedOrAsked · 02/04/2023 12:02

People can change their habits at any age.
I'm older than the OP and recently started drinking coffee after being a confirmed abstainer.

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