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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m 52 and you still ask me

310 replies

ComeOnNumber100 · 02/04/2023 09:58

Lighthearted
Went to visit my parents yesterday and dad asked if I wanted a coffee. I’ve never drunk coffee, I hate coffee, every time I go round and he offers I tell him I don’t like coffee but I’ll have a tea. He’s done it my whole life. AIBU to think it’s not that difficult to remember that your daughter has a cup of tea.
is there something that your parents ask all the time that you have told them repeatedly?
He doesn’t have dementia or anything like that.

OP posts:
EnchentButteler · 03/04/2023 22:39

Stuffing at Christmas. 43 Christmases with him and my DF still asks if I want stuffing. Nope! Not now. Not ever!

EnchentButteler · 03/04/2023 22:46

Rebel2 · 02/04/2023 11:31

Last example "I can't find any pickled red cabbage anywhere"

Dad "hold my beer"

Love this!!

kennycat · 03/04/2023 22:57

My dad always offered me extra string mints or polos in the car. I cannot stand mints. They make me visibly heave.

HildasLostSock · 03/04/2023 23:54

My Dad offers me a choc ice every time I pop round. I haven't eaten them since I was about 12. He's always surprised when I say that I don't like them bless him. Not quite the same but my parents (now in their 70's) answer to a surprising number of ailments is gripe water (the stuff you give to babies). Tummy ache? Take gripe water. Constipation? Take gripe water. Teething baby? Give them gripe water (at least that's a baby though). Cramp? Gripe water. Last time they told me that it cured dad's cough too!

Somersetgirl1 · 04/04/2023 00:02

The thing I always get is my mother remembers stuff differently - I think this is to account for changes in attitudes over the years so, for example she swears blind that we never went to chicken pox parties...every child in the 70's did!!!! She also remembers us 'never' leaving the house without factor 30 on in the summer.......yeah right, they only had the brown oil in the 70's which was aimed at catching sun

Isittimeformynapyet · 04/04/2023 00:08

Xrays · 02/04/2023 10:09

My dad visited on Boxing Day and thought I was still vegetarian. I have been vegetarian since I was 14 - I’m now 42 😳😆

Er.. so he was right?

saraclara · 04/04/2023 00:17

Stop complaining about your dad! I wish mine is still alive to ask me for coffee just appreciate what you've got in life.

Lots of us have lost parents. But we still have funny and affectionate memories of them. And OP made it clear that her OP was lighthearted.

Macaroni46 · 04/04/2023 00:17

I've been a teacher all my adult life, for over 30 years.
Every year on my birthday I find a voicemail from my dad on my phone that was left at 5 to 9 expressing surprise that I didn't answer with a comment along the lines of 'I thought I'd catch you before you start with,' God knows how many times I've told him I start a lot earlier.
I also receive a voicemail around 3pm saying I thought you'd be finished now ...

Macaroni46 · 04/04/2023 00:18

Start work not start with!
I do wish MN would get an edit button!

saraclara · 04/04/2023 00:21

Shona52 · 03/04/2023 21:06

God I wish I could have my dad ask me a silly question one more time. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have him!! Having lost my DF last year I can tell you it’s one of the most painful things I’ve had to goes through and would give anything to have him here just one more day. Please don’t waste these precious moments with him getting annoyed over nothing and just enjoy being with him because one day he won’t be there and you will wish for him to ask that silly question one more time.

I'm losing patience now. Many of us have lost parents. Some of us have lost spouses. But we don't guilt everyone who lightheartedly 'complains' about a silly funny thing (or those who, unlike the OP, slag theirs off without compunction).

Our losses don't mean that everyone else is forbidden from doing anything other than fawn over their parent/spouse

Mumtobabyhavoc · 04/04/2023 03:53

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 22:15

I will do, I’ll even give him an extra one for you and your dad Flowers

Show quote history

🫶

MissMarplesbag · 04/04/2023 05:47

My late dad would offer to make me a packed lunch and check I wasn't wearing my clothes inside out. I was 35 at the time of these incidents.

humancalculator · 04/04/2023 06:01

Rebel2 · 02/04/2023 11:31

Last example "I can't find any pickled red cabbage anywhere"

Dad "hold my beer"

@Rebel2 this made me howl! If I were you I’d start another thread asking for pickled red cabbage recipes…

Heyhoitsme · 04/04/2023 06:13

My husband is the worst for this sort of thing. When I ask him for a glass of water he says "ice and lemon?" I tell him every time I just want water. We've been married for a long time.

solisetlunae · 04/04/2023 07:59

I feel like my mother is the person who knows me the least. She doesn't care about what I like or not. She gifts me stuff that she likes and I hate. She cooks food she likes and pretends as if it's my favorite. She criticizes me when I act in a certain way in a certain situation then goes on to appreciate somebody else who acts the same way in a similar situation. She is highly narcissistic which explains all.

LoisWilkersonslastnerve · 04/04/2023 08:20

My parents always start an update on my siblings like this-
"Lois, you know Fred?"
Me "Fred my brother? Yes funnily enough I'm aware of his existence!" 😂

Whattt44 · 04/04/2023 08:46

My mum always gets a tin of tomatoes 'specially' for me when I go to see them, I despise them and always have- I'm nearly 60 !

Shona52 · 04/04/2023 09:01

As you say everyone is allowed an opinion which includes me.

nomoremerlot · 04/04/2023 09:23

Shona52 · 04/04/2023 09:01

As you say everyone is allowed an opinion which includes me.

Yes you've a right to your opinion, you have absolutely no right to berate others because they don't conform to your way of thinking.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 04/04/2023 09:41

Shona52 · 04/04/2023 09:01

As you say everyone is allowed an opinion which includes me.

I'm sorry you've lost your dad but did he not do things like this when he was alive? Surely you must have some funny little anecdotes about him. That's all people are sharing. These things make for good memories when people pass away

Picklebawl · 04/04/2023 09:52

I think it’s true that parents see us as children, and in our respective family place, however old we are. I was living and working in the US, and returned for Christmas. Doing a crossword, dm turned to my older dsis and asked her about an aspect of US geography. Dsis - who had been on one US coach tour! It still burns….

My adored parents are long dead but I can laugh about their annoying habits. Dh, however, has elevated passed-on mil to sainthood (when I firmly suspect St Peter would have been a bit dubious about opening the Pearly Gates…).

HarlanPepper · 04/04/2023 09:55

Shona52 · 04/04/2023 09:01

As you say everyone is allowed an opinion which includes me.

I'm so sorry about your dad. My dad died recently and my mum is (hopefully) now recovering from bowel cancer. I've had a bit of a complicated relationship with both my parents and I'm almost wistful about times my mum would just get on my nerves about something daft. That feels like a luxury to me, instead of the fear I live with now that I'm going to lose her too.

So I do get what you're saying in a way, but I agree with others that laughing about the foibles of our families doesn't mean there's no love or appreciation there. I want to remember my dad how he really was, that's how his memory will stay alive for me. I don't want to gloss over the difficult stuff, big or small.

xogossipgirlxo · 04/04/2023 10:11

My mum always rings during the week and asks "what are you up to? Work or day off?". I haven't worked shifts for years, it's always Mon-Fri. My dad never asks such stuff. He doesn't like unnecessary blah and I like it about him.

Ukrainebaby23 · 04/04/2023 10:28

Silentmama · 02/04/2023 12:41

NO- the generic term for drink is 'drink'

Would you like a 'drink' ..

Show quote history

In our world the generic is tea , would you like a tea? Means a drink, squash coffee etc or tea of course which is a much safer bet when visiting imo,

Shona52 · 04/04/2023 10:50

And yet your doing it to me!