Page 10 | I’m 52 and you still ask me

ComeOnNumber100 · 2023-04-02T08:58:04+00:00

Lighthearted Went to visit my parents yesterday and dad asked if I wanted a coffee. I’ve never drunk coffee, I hate coffee, every time I go round and he offers I tell him I don’t like coffee but I’ll have a tea. He’s done it my whole life. AIBU to think it’s not that difficult to remember that your daughter has a cup of tea. is there something that your parents ask all the time that you have told them repeatedly? He doesn’t have dementia or anything like that.

BaggieMaggie · 03/04/2023 19:53

My Dad is the best but I have to be so careful about telling him if I like something. One time my younger sister made a carrot cake. I don’t particularly like carrot cake but she was so proud of herself I made a bid deal of how delicious it was. That was 30 years ago and my dad still thinks it’s my favourite cake. Every time he goes to M&S he gets me carrot cake! He’s like that with other things too. If dc or I say we like a certain food, he’ll get it every time he sees it. He’s so sweet but, honestly, if I never see carrot cake again, I’ll be happy lady 🤣🤣🤣 Dd made the mistake of saying she likes gherkins once and now he goes to Costco every couple of months and gets her a giant jar of them. We have 3 in the cupboard already.

Original poster

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 19:53

Sainte · 03/04/2023 19:02

Just relax. It’s something we’ll all do with age. Look for the good and just love your parent as they are. It sounds as if you’re loosing patience.
Mine would always ask if I was wearing a vest.

I’d find ways to include my parents in the day to day activities. They may not think they’re lonely but mine were.

‘Mum what was the cream you used for nappy rash - or what do you find the best field rising flour. - or what’s that lovely soap in your bathroom etc.
Just keep them involved in your home life.

Losing patience? I adore my folks, I live in the next street, I see them two or three times a week, I take my mum food shopping every week and me and dad are in our element doing a jigsaw although he is better than me at them and I have been known to lose patience with a puzzle. But as far as having a brew, it goes like this:

Q do you want a cup of coffee?
A i don’t drink coffee dad, I’d love a tea though
Q you don’t have a lot of milk do you?
A that’s right
Q sugar?
A no thanks
your sweet enough

and repeat in a couple of days when I visit again.

OP posts:

Tiddler39 · 03/04/2023 19:58

Schmutter · 02/04/2023 10:52

Stop complaining about your dad! I wish mine is still alive to ask me for coffee just appreciate what you've got in life.

🙄There’s always one. It’s lighthearted.

This. Why do people have to do this!!

Dymaxion · 03/04/2023 20:18

My DM rings up, every week, to see what I am working the following week , I tell her my shifts, cue her ringing on a day I am at work and DH patiently explaining I am at work, and her being slightly miffed I am working on the day I said I was, because she would rather I wasn't. DF then rings about half an hour later to just check if I am working !
She also asks me round for an important chat about something, which she won't divulge over the phone. What she actually means is she would like me to come round because she needs something heavy lifting or for me to go in the loft etc I am always happy to help so I never understand why she feels the need to get me there under false pretences

mozzierella · 03/04/2023 20:26

Mine always offer me a gin and tonic's despite the fact i hate the stuff. Always have

HarrietPoole · 03/04/2023 20:49

@Manopadmanaban

Lighthearted!!! Let us enjoy a fond smile about parent's' idiosyncrasies,

HarrietPoole · 03/04/2023 20:52

Imgoingslightlymadd · 02/04/2023 10:45

If I'm working today. Yes dad I am, I work everyday 😅

If i arrived to visit Monday to Friday dad would ask if I'd lost my job. Every time 🙄

Monsterpage · 03/04/2023 20:55

I hate apple pie and dates, currants and raisins. Whenever there is a pudding with a meal at my Dad’s it is either apple pie or sticky toffee pudding or something with currants and raisins in. He always offers me some. I always remind him I don’t like *apple /currants/ raisins / dates so thank you but now thank you. He always seems to be surprised when I tell him - like it’s a new piece of news. I am 48 years young.
I used to get annoyed and upset about it now I think I’d be disappointed if he tried to get something I liked as that’s not the game! 🤣🤣

Maray1967 · 03/04/2023 20:59

Twinklewonderkins · 02/04/2023 10:36

I’m also 52, I eat all veg except boiled cabbage.
my mum still puts a bit on my plate when I go for Sunday lunch “just to try”.

Oh that takes the biscuit , that really does!
Just to try!! What does she say when you remind her that you’re not five? !!

In my case it’s comments about gravy - me not having any. You would have thought it would have worn thin after over 40 years. The one person who stood up for me and told off others for commenting was my lovely lovely Gran, so it’s not universally an age thing.

Shona52 · 03/04/2023 21:06

God I wish I could have my dad ask me a silly question one more time. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have him!! Having lost my DF last year I can tell you it’s one of the most painful things I’ve had to goes through and would give anything to have him here just one more day. Please don’t waste these precious moments with him getting annoyed over nothing and just enjoy being with him because one day he won’t be there and you will wish for him to ask that silly question one more time.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/04/2023 21:07

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 19:53

Losing patience? I adore my folks, I live in the next street, I see them two or three times a week, I take my mum food shopping every week and me and dad are in our element doing a jigsaw although he is better than me at them and I have been known to lose patience with a puzzle. But as far as having a brew, it goes like this:

Q do you want a cup of coffee?
A i don’t drink coffee dad, I’d love a tea though
Q you don’t have a lot of milk do you?
A that’s right
Q sugar?
A no thanks
your sweet enough

and repeat in a couple of days when I visit again.

Show quote history

That's quite a sweet bit with your dad. Lucky. Next time you see him kiss his cheek for me and the rest of us who lost our dads too soon.
💖💖💖💖

KatieP8 · 03/04/2023 21:18

Yep, every Christmas when plating up my mum asks me to confirm that it's me who likes stuffing and my brother that doesn't. It's me who hates it! She also asks me if I "like vegetables"; I absolutely love vegetables and am more or less vegetarian.

Usernamenotavailabletryanother · 03/04/2023 21:21

‘Do you eat prawns?’

Have never eaten them. Hate them.

Have been asked this every time I see my dad for over twenty five years. Even if we just meet for coffee 😂

Will miss it when nobody asks me.

AmberMcAmber · 03/04/2023 21:33

Maybe he asks you, coffee and sugar but just do he can reply that you’re sweet enough - I know he could skip straight to tea and sugar but maybe that’s what he’s getting at

maddiemookins16mum · 03/04/2023 21:36

My DMIL still serves me Satan’s Piles (cooked mushrooms) on a breakfast despite me hating mushrooms. She’s known me since I was 14, I’m 60 (apparently) next year.

TheGirlInTheGreenDress · 03/04/2023 21:51

My mum does exactly the same. I am 39 and have never drank coffee and tell her this every time she asks!

Feraldogmum · 03/04/2023 22:02

Well at least your dad doesn’t call you son, cannot count the number of times my late father called me son accidentally, he would correct himself but always say that he’d be right 3 times out of four , I have 3 brothers.
And folk think misgendering is a habit of the young, not the elderly.

HairyMcHairyFace · 03/04/2023 22:11

I'm really enjoying al lthese stories.
I live in my husband's home country so whenever we come to the UK my parents want to make it special. My dad does this by taking us all out for a meal or offering to babysit. My mum every single time makes "your favourite tea, as a treat". My favourite tea is stuff I haven't wanted to eat in 35 years and no matter how many times I tell her I'm still offered cheese and salad cream sandwiches and jelly. I was in my home city for work recently and wasn't sure what time I'd get to spend with my parents and had visions of my mum turning up at my business meeting with a racing car shaped jelly and being upset I didn't want it.

Original poster

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 22:13

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 19:53

Losing patience? I adore my folks, I live in the next street, I see them two or three times a week, I take my mum food shopping every week and me and dad are in our element doing a jigsaw although he is better than me at them and I have been known to lose patience with a puzzle. But as far as having a brew, it goes like this:

Q do you want a cup of coffee?
A i don’t drink coffee dad, I’d love a tea though
Q you don’t have a lot of milk do you?
A that’s right
Q sugar?
A no thanks
your sweet enough

and repeat in a couple of days when I visit again.

Show quote history

Please read above @Shona52
having supported my DH through the loss of both of his parents within 6 months of each other i am more than aware of the fragility of the parent and child relationship and having had them in my life for 30 years I still mourn them. I fully appreciate how lucky I am to have both of my parents still and that my children have got to adulthood getting to know them both. Dad asking me if I want coffee doesn’t annoy me, it’s a long running joke to me that he doesn’t realise or as others have suggested he likes the banter. I’m sorry your dad is no longer around but even if mine did annoy me that doesn’t justify trying to make me feel guilty. I lightheartedly complained about him always offering coffee despite never liking it, have you read some of the threads people put on MN about their parents? Mine is extremely tame and LIGHTHEARTED.

OP posts:

Original poster

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 22:15

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/04/2023 21:07

That's quite a sweet bit with your dad. Lucky. Next time you see him kiss his cheek for me and the rest of us who lost our dads too soon.
💖💖💖💖

Show quote history

I will do, I’ll even give him an extra one for you and your dad

OP posts:

Original poster

ComeOnNumber100 · 03/04/2023 22:19

Feraldogmum · 03/04/2023 22:02

Well at least your dad doesn’t call you son, cannot count the number of times my late father called me son accidentally, he would correct himself but always say that he’d be right 3 times out of four , I have 3 brothers.
And folk think misgendering is a habit of the young, not the elderly.

That reminds me of mum going through everyone’s names including the cat before getting the name of the person she wanted.

OP posts:

Lemonyfuckit · 03/04/2023 22:26

When it's forecast to be hot my DM tells me to remember to put plenty of sun cream on. I'm 41 and have had this red hair and pale skin my whole life, I've been remembering I need sun cream for a very long time! (Wouldn't have it any other way of course).

mamaduckbone · 03/04/2023 22:36

Every time I leave my mum's house she asks me if I've got my phone and keys...like I haven't been independently managing to leave a house with all my belongings for the past 30 years. It's very sweet and occasionally I haven't

Lemonyfuckit · 03/04/2023 22:39

@ComeOnNumber100 oh yes please give your dad an extra kiss from all of us who have sadly lost ours.

mamaduckbone · 03/04/2023 22:39

Xrays · 02/04/2023 11:24

I’ve just remembered a funny one about my Mum… She always thought I fancied Olly Murs 😳 I have no idea why. I mean each to their own but he’s not my cup of tea AT ALL, but for some reason every single time he’d come on the radio or TV she’d be like “oooo you love him don’t you” and no amount of me saying otherwise would change it. One year she even got me an Olly Murs calendar for Christmas 😆😳 I had to put it up in the kitchen so I didn’t seem rude so I had 365 days of his face - well I would have done if I didn’t hide it in the drawer when she visited. She died in 2019 and every year since my dh and Ds get me Olly Murs calendars at Christmas 🎄😆

I love this!
My mum is similar with Jonny Wilkinson. I do love rugby but have no interest in him...I just don't know where it came from! (No calendar though, thankfully!)