I’m 52 and you still ask me

[ComeOnNumber100]

Lighthearted
Went to visit my parents yesterday and dad asked if I wanted a coffee. I’ve never drunk coffee, I hate coffee, every time I go round and he offers I tell him I don’t like coffee but I’ll have a tea. He’s done it my whole life. AIBU to think it’s not that difficult to remember that your daughter has a cup of tea.
is there something that your parents ask all the time that you have told them repeatedly?
He doesn’t have dementia or anything like that.

This is like my DH. He offers me the salt and pepper at the dinner table (on the one or two occasions a week we have dinner at the dining table,) EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I have never, in over 30 years together - 28 living together, 27 married, ever EVER had fucking salt or pepper on my food.

I say 'why, oh WHY do you offer me salt and pepper - I have never had it!' He says 'I am just being polite.' Errrr, no you're not, you are listening to what I say, and hearing what I say, but just going ahead and doing what the fuck you want anyway.

He hates peanut butter, so every so often I say 'I am having a slice of toast with peanut butter on it, d'ya want one?' He looks proper confused and slightly annoyed and says ' You KNOW I don't like peanut butter.'

Oh, but I am just being polite.

Then there are all the quaint names for local places (local people will get them but strangers look at you like your taking the piss) whenever he is giving directions to people you go left up the butt's..

It's quite common here to give directions including the phrase 'where the railway bridge used to be', everyone local knows what you mean but it must confuse the hell out of strangers! When I lived in the NW we would still say 'turn left at the monument' even though the monument hadn't been there for over twenty years, if anyone turned left by it they'd be in the pub!

I’m definitely going to be that parent. No, wait - I’m already that parent!!

I used to have waist length, mid brown, never dyed hair which I had cut to a short bob when I was 20.

Round visiting, Dad never said anything, I asked if he noticed anything different.

He said 'Didn't you have black hair?'.

Also, I have been with DP for 30 years, I don't eat meat. Everytime we saw his Mum 'I didn't realise you didn't eat meat!'.

A bit different but I’m also 52 and in my mum’s later years she would always want to discuss the ins and outs of what was happening in Emmerdale with me, despite the fact I’d never watched the show in my life and so had no idea who she was chatting on about. I gave up reminding her of this fact in the end and just nodded along. I’d do anything to listen to her going on about the latest plot or scandal now. 😞

@Diorinthecountry What happens to the beer and Prosecco?

It’s a fond, lighthearted thread people - read the tone.

My Dad is gone also (and my Mum for that matter) but I can still remember the fond irritation when the doorbell rang with him proffering a large selection of reduced supermarket baked goods, several times a week, despite being told we were trying to avoid cakes. Not to mention secretly taking every crap second hand car I had to be fixed (even though the fix was 3 times the value of the car), or fixing it himself - the result of which was always an exhaust that would wake the dead.

I get the 'are you working tomorrow?' question too, all the time. As if I have some kind of job where it's optional, and you just go when you feel like it!!

@module it evaporates

This made me absolutely cry with laughter.

Such a good thread!

I’m so glad it’s not just me! Every time my dad makes me a cup of tea I have to remind him I take sugar. If I forget and then tell him after I’ve taken a sugarless mouthful, he’ll say “Do you still have sugar?” in an incredulous tone, as if he’d just assumed I’d have given it up by now, or it was something I was procrastinating about, like getting a broken window fixed. If I’m staying there, I also have to make sure I’m up before him in case he gets it into his head to make scrambled eggs, proudly announcing how nice they’ll be because he’s put black pepper in them. I HATE pepper. I’ve told him many times. It always comes as a surprise.

Also, I’ve worked from home (as in their home) a few times when I’ve been visiting to avoid late Sunday trains, to make sure I’m there before Christmas etc. EVERY time he’ll stare with incomprehension at the two phones on the table next to me and say “How many mobile phones does a person need?!” Just the two, Dad - work and personal. As I tell you every time you ask.

My mom is much better at remembering my likes and dislikes, with one exception. She’s obsessed with chilling chocolate before eating it, which I don’t do. Obviously it’s fine for her to have her chocolate how she likes, but every time I go and she’s bought some, she’ll tell me in this almost conspiratorial tone “I’ve put it in the fridge. So it’ll be lovely and cold”, as if this a very special treat for me, rather than something she likes and I tolerate.

Haha that really made me laugh :-)

When he’s not here to ask you if you want coffee you will miss it. Trust me

@Tryphenia looks like we are twins! 😁

There’ll be a day when all you wish for is to have him ask you if you want a coffee, just one more time.

Yes, this!!

Easter is coming up, my Dad will toast me a Hot Cross Bun with lashings of butter despite telling him for my 48 years of life that I cannot bear bread with fruit in it. 'But go on, have one, they're delicious"!

I am Coeliac, diagnosed as a child. My mum still offers me cake, biscuits etc 😂😂

oh I’m glad it’s not just my dad! I haven’t drink milk for years and every time he makes coffee, even if it’s the second one that day, he questions when I say I want it black! Yes, I know I could make my own coffee but he has his routines and making the coffees at a certain time is one of the few things he does around the house!

You know it’s not as simple as this. I don’t eat certain things for health reasons, and that fact that my parents don’t remember about this shows that they don’t take it seriously and don’t care so it’s actually very upsetting.

My DP's mum sends him a text the day before to remind him when the clocks are changing. He's 58. This year she forgot and he was visibly upset.

@pizzaHeart trust me it will be more upsetting than when he’s dead and can’t ask you. I’d kill for my mum to ask me if I’m sure I don’t want sweetcorn!!

My parents still don't know where I got my education and to make matters worse they have different opinions on where it was I studied. At least the college my mum claims I studied at has started teaching adults now. When I studied they only had courses at Sixth form level. So to summarize: I have a Masters Degree but my mum told everyone I have only done my A-levels.

Next time he asks say yes. I bet he says, 'but I thought you don't drink coffee'...............

This would upset me too

and don't worry, you won't miss the crap when they're gone!