To think my friends aren’t coming?

[UnluckyCoil]

Arranged earlier in the week for a catch up round mine which is a rarity as my DH is away- both friends agreed to come.
This morning at 9am, put a message in the group chat asking what time they were coming so I can make sure my house is tidy, make sure baby is asleep etc and neither have them have replied or even opened the message.
They are the kind of people who have theirs phones with them 24/7 so can’t imagine they’ve not looked at their phones for 8hrs.
I don’t mind but I guess I just want to know either way.. and I’ve bought drinks and snacks. I’d feel embarrassed to put a chase message in the group chat.
They aren’t coming are they?

Exactly!

I just wish all the people that want friends could meet other people like that and just block all the people who are unreliable

There’s no update after 7pm… so OP did they turn up?

If not…. Those are REALLY SHITTY friends!

Speaking to someone on the phone is extremely personal for some people. It's totally distracting and really hard to even understand the conversation if you are unable to see their face.

The point is she communicated with her friends and asked them to come to her house. She communicated via text to see if they were still coming. As far as we know now, NO RESPONSE.

If that's the case, they've let the OP down, not the other way around.

It's not a kicking, it's common bloody sense!

She was clearly and understandably upset enough to ask the internet whether we think her friends aren't coming round.

So going forward she'll be able to avoid this if she learns to pick up the phone.

Just because other adults also find this difficult, it doesn't mean she shouldn't learn to do it in future.

Is it? More personal than face to face? If someone has some kind of disability including hard of hearing - I totally get that - but if a person no disability or special needs and English is their first language - then I don’t see what’s different to talking in real life - people have conversations in the dark.

@MrsDoylesDoily what if she can't speak on the phone? I'm not saying the OP can't, but what if she has some inability or anxiety?

She posted that she'd messaged her friends and both had read it but hadn't responded.

Instead of supporting the OP, some of you lit said 'Just phone them'. What if she can't?

Instead of being obtuse, how's about being kind?

I got the impression that OP didn't want to call as she'd already been in contact and was expecting contact from them.

And what if boiled eggs are runny? 🙄

The OP hasn't mentioned any of the straws you are clutching at here.

Now I accept that neither of us know her and she's a random internet woman, but even so I would still wish for her (and advise her) to be a tad more forceful in the future for her own well being.

But you however, seem hell bent on preferring her to continue life like a wet lettuce, turning to internet strangers rather than picking up the phone to her friends.

Odd but your prerogative of course if you think that's in her best interest.

I hope your friends came

@MrsDoylesDoily you might want to read my post before the one you picked up on, the one where I called all of you out for blaming the person whose friends have been shitty in this moment.

Not clutching at any straws, in fact, I'm hoping the OP is having an absolutely amazing time with her friends that were invited.

OP communicated with her friends throughout this and even if she does have the ability to phone them, why should she?

My friends would've either responded to me to say they were coming or they weren't. Whether that was via text or verbal.

The OPs problem isn't method of communication, it's lack of response from friends.

I work in a contact centre and still hate phone calls
Speak to my dad on the phone and one friend and that's about it
I wouldn't have rung because I would think they were ignoring me or didn't want to come

The OPs problem isn't method of communication, it's lack of response from friends.

The lack of response from her rude friends is her main problem.

Feeling unable to quickly call her friends is also a problem and one I hope she solves moving forward.

Don't know about the app but if you open your emails on a Samsung phone then read Mumsnet posts from there, you definitely have that feature. (I've never bothered to download the app but apart from taking up storage on your phone, I thought apps were meant to be better than going through the web??)

OP, I hope your friends turned up and you had a lovely evening.

If they didn't turn up, I hope you found something great to watch and enjoyed the wine and crisps!

(On a side note, I've found posters' discussion of making/not making phone calls very interesting in presenting different points of view.)

I always use apps, much 'cleaner' and user friendly. I don't use the web if im using my phone, although that is a feature that it doesn't have which is frustrating.

Agree. I don't know how people are able to get by in life like this (and by no means do I like confrontation, in fact I'm on the shy side)

Surely anyone would turn down an invitation phrased like that as clearly coming from a pod person who’d never spoken to a real-life human before.

They are possibly eating or about to look at their phone or could be driving over to yours.

Say that you are ready and send snap of snacks and assume that they will be there.

At 3.30am???🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄

I’m so sorry they did this to you, they are not good friends and you deserve better. I’ve been in your position and sadly it seems we’re losing manners now, people treat others like they are disposable.

I hope you had a nice evening and try not to worry about them.

Probably not… 😆😆😆😆

This is really bad manner. Cancelling is one thing but not even messaging to give a reason really isn't on. If it was a group event with 10 people I can imagine people thinking if they don't go there will be a fair few people there anyway, but even then I'd expect a message. If this isn't unusual for them then I'd be rethink the friendships.

Surely no-one speaks to friends on the telephone any more?