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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a shitty thing to say?

133 replies

Ok123 · 01/04/2023 14:50

Settle an argument beween me and DP…

Came home around 2.30 and said I was starving as I hadn’t eaten all day. DP comes out with “well it doesn’t look like it”, and I’m immediately offended.

For context, I HAVE put on around 1.5 stone since is meeting 6 years ago have having DD, but am still at max a size 12, mostly clothes a size 10. He isn’t happy with this (neither am I to be fair), but I get constant comments about it. When I challenged him on it, apparently I can’t get upset because it’s true.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TenoringBehind · 01/04/2023 18:46

Such a cruel thing to say.

thegrain · 01/04/2023 18:46

What an arse

happinessischocolate · 01/04/2023 18:55

Ok123 · 01/04/2023 16:24

My self esteem has really taken a hammering in the last few years. I have brought this up to him, but I just get “would you prefer me to lie to you?”.

Apparently no one could ruin his self esteem because he’s really confident in himself, it’s not up to him to “fluff up” my confidence 🙄

What a coincidence

You're married to an arsehole who makes derogatory comments about you and you now have low self esteem.

Ask him if he'd like if someone spoke to his daughter like that.

If you don't sort this by telling him to shut the fuck up or leave, your self esteem is going to go lower, much lower

Sorry he's turned out like this. I've been there.

Dominoeffecter · 01/04/2023 18:58

billy1966 · 01/04/2023 15:40

OP,

Why is your bar so low that you have chosen such a loser to have a baby with?

You have chosen a father to your child who is rude, nasty, and thinks its ok to belittle you, its mother.

Your poor child having such a waster for a father.

😖

webster1987 · 01/04/2023 20:04

Botw1 · 01/04/2023 14:53

Start commenting on the size of his dick.

Say its such a shame its not big enough to satisfy you. Say you wish it was bigger.

If he says anything back say he can't get upset because it's true

Or better yet just dump him.

He's a prick.

Absolutely do this OP. What a horrible man. Hope he wouldn't ever comment on your daughters weight in the future!

webster1987 · 01/04/2023 20:07

Ok123 · 01/04/2023 16:24

My self esteem has really taken a hammering in the last few years. I have brought this up to him, but I just get “would you prefer me to lie to you?”.

Apparently no one could ruin his self esteem because he’s really confident in himself, it’s not up to him to “fluff up” my confidence 🙄

Honestly, this sounds like a done deal to me. Leave him. Your partner should want to make you feel good about yourself and be supportive. You can want to lose weight, you can both be in full knowledge of this, he can support you with it but to openly take the piss and make comments, claiming it's ok to do and not his job to build your self esteem when he's actively the one destroying it.....disgusting behaviour and I'd want my daughter to be away from it asap.

Chickenwing2 · 01/04/2023 21:08

What a nasty man. I would leave over this.

I have put on about 2/3 stone since meeting my husband and he still calls me beautiful (even though i'm not!) kindness is an important quality in a partner.

Size 12 is not fat.

Scarydinosaurs · 01/04/2023 21:13

It feels like you have to go tit for tat - but what a miserable way to live.

you might not need him to ‘fluff you up’ but he’s kicking you (and his daughter) down.

He actually sounds dreadfully insecure. I would bet he does this to feel big and important.

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