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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a shitty thing to say?

133 replies

Ok123 · 01/04/2023 14:50

Settle an argument beween me and DP…

Came home around 2.30 and said I was starving as I hadn’t eaten all day. DP comes out with “well it doesn’t look like it”, and I’m immediately offended.

For context, I HAVE put on around 1.5 stone since is meeting 6 years ago have having DD, but am still at max a size 12, mostly clothes a size 10. He isn’t happy with this (neither am I to be fair), but I get constant comments about it. When I challenged him on it, apparently I can’t get upset because it’s true.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ok123 · 01/04/2023 15:10

I did ask him how many people he thought would be happy with that comment. He said everyone would be 🤷‍♀️

And yes, he has obviously changed in 6 years! But I don’t insist on mentioning it daily.

OP posts:
Autumntimeagain · 01/04/2023 15:14

Yep, it's time to point out all HIS faults, and because they're true, he CAN'T get upset either !

Receding hairline ?
Needs reading glasses ?
Grey hair ?
Doesn't wax his hairy back ?
Feet stink ?
Doesn't shave every day ?
Skidmarks in his undies ?
Stinks out the bedroom every morning with his farts/ shits in en suite ?
Doesn't trim his 'man garden' any more ?
Belching after eating ?
Wears joggers for slobbing ?
Dressing gown of 'doom' ?

The list could be bloody endless...

DrMarciaFieldstone · 01/04/2023 15:15

There’s a very quick and effective way for you to lose 14 stone…

DrManhattan · 01/04/2023 15:16

You are being unreasonable for being with such an arsehole. You would be better off on your own.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 01/04/2023 15:17

DrMarciaFieldstone · Today 15:15
There’s a very quick and effective way for you to lose 14 stone…

In a day... boom boom

BanditsGravyStain · 01/04/2023 15:18

He has a daughter. This is his view on women’s bodies and how they should look. Think about how his attitude is going to affect her as she grows. Appalling.

Botw1 · 01/04/2023 15:22

Why are you putting up with such awful treatment?

Crumpleton · 01/04/2023 15:25

Have you looked him in the eye and asked him why he's so nasty and if it makes him feel good when he puts you down?

MandyMotherOfBrian · 01/04/2023 15:26

Mirabai · 01/04/2023 15:09

And he is..?

An insufferable prick?

Goodfuckingriddance · 01/04/2023 15:33

God he must be sooooo fucking good looking himself right?

DotAndCarryOne2 · 01/04/2023 15:34

So 1.5 stone in six years, after you’ve had a child, and you’re still only a size 10-12. And he finds cause to insult you because you haven’t stayed exactly the same as when you met ? Whether you gain or lose weight is nothing whatever to do with him unless he has concerns for your health. If he can’t handle you looking even slightly different how is he going to handle you both ageing and other changes that come on with time ?

Elieza · 01/04/2023 15:36

I’d be doing the same as others have suggested.

Ask him why he thinks it’s ok to have a dig at you about your weight gain. Is it to make him feel superior because you have had a baby and he can never do that?

Is it because his hair is really receding and by putting your body changes down it makes him feel better about his own.

Is it because his shit job pisses him off and he needs a whipping boy and you’re it?

And I’d remind him that love isn’t about slagging people off and hurting them. It’s about being kind and thoughtful people to each other. See the bible for a good list of things, even if not religious it’s a good baseline:

1 Corinthians 13 1
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

If he can’t be nicer I’d seriously be considering my options. It is indeed easy to lose about 14 stone and I’d be telling him that too….

CheersForThatEh · 01/04/2023 15:38

Ha makes fat jokes at you for bot being a size 8?

In front of you child? Or does he make sure he does it on the sly?

Justalittlebitduckling · 01/04/2023 15:38

Totally not acceptable. And I think you know that.

Lovebeingamummy2 · 01/04/2023 15:39

Botw1 · 01/04/2023 14:53

Start commenting on the size of his dick.

Say its such a shame its not big enough to satisfy you. Say you wish it was bigger.

If he says anything back say he can't get upset because it's true

Or better yet just dump him.

He's a prick.

😂 love this definitely do this one! He's a horrible man. I've gained three stone since meeting my DP and having kids he would never say something rude about my weight

Justalittlebitduckling · 01/04/2023 15:39

Ok123 · 01/04/2023 15:10

I did ask him how many people he thought would be happy with that comment. He said everyone would be 🤷‍♀️

And yes, he has obviously changed in 6 years! But I don’t insist on mentioning it daily.

Nobody would be.

billy1966 · 01/04/2023 15:40

OP,

Why is your bar so low that you have chosen such a loser to have a baby with?

You have chosen a father to your child who is rude, nasty, and thinks its ok to belittle you, its mother.

Your poor child having such a waster for a father.

ChangedmynameagainforChristmas · 01/04/2023 15:42

I think this is what they call 'victim blaming' @billy1966 ?

Think before you put your fingers on the keyboard mate

butterfliedtwo · 01/04/2023 15:44

Don't put up with this shit. Seriously.

2022NewTimes · 01/04/2023 15:48

Ok123 · 01/04/2023 15:10

I did ask him how many people he thought would be happy with that comment. He said everyone would be 🤷‍♀️

And yes, he has obviously changed in 6 years! But I don’t insist on mentioning it daily.

Does he mention your weight every day ??

BellePeppa · 01/04/2023 15:48

Ok123 · 01/04/2023 15:10

I did ask him how many people he thought would be happy with that comment. He said everyone would be 🤷‍♀️

And yes, he has obviously changed in 6 years! But I don’t insist on mentioning it daily.

Well maybe you should. Start nitpicking at him and his appearance and see how he reacts.

mellicauli · 01/04/2023 15:49

He knows it's a rude and upsetting comment. He said it and he plainly doesn't care how it makes you feel. I can only conclude that to him you are a body first and a person second. Please call him out on it.

You need to stop him getting into your head. Next time look him in the eye and say: Actually I am still in my prime and you are just so lucky to be married to me, you pathetic maggot.

Flossyhair · 01/04/2023 15:50

Tell him that you are not happy with the size of his penis, but unlike him, you're too polite to go on about it.

Lesina · 01/04/2023 15:57

Pretty outrageous thing to say. He sounds like a bit of a tosser. Utterly shitty thing to say.

HowcanIgetoutofthisalive · 01/04/2023 15:58
  1. He shouldnt be so rude
  2. He shouldnt be making any comments about your weight and certainly not in front of your dd
  3. He should apologise for upsetting you
  4. He should be apologising for saying 'it's true' when it's pretty clear he's upset you
  5. He needs to stop invalidating your feelings and apologise for that too.

Fucking arsewipe.

And what@Botw1 said. Genius.

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