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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

701 replies

phonemouse · 31/03/2023 20:19

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Verv · 04/04/2023 11:10

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 04/04/2023 07:48

He's got a point about watches, though. A £25 watch is perfectly adequate. It's a bit of a stretch to say that everyone who has a luxury watch is wearing it as a status symbol, but some most certainly are.

Show quote history

I suppose you had to be there absorb the fact that it was a permanently chippy misogynist flexing his wrist in order to put a woman in her place.

And yes, a £25 watch is adequate. Nobody is saying it isnt.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 04/04/2023 11:13

EnoughEnoughnow · 03/04/2023 23:09

I overheard a colleague (who is a piece of work!) praise our new office junior. She told her she was incredibly hardworking, organised, had great attention to detail, took initiative etc and then said loudly “You’re just like a little mini version of me!”

Oh my goodness this might win the thread!

Softsoftsleep · 04/04/2023 11:13

I know someone who put a picture of herself on social media with caption 'Old money'.

ReneBumsWombats · 04/04/2023 11:22

a permanently chippy misogynist flexing his wrist

Oh, I bet he was...

NotAnotherBathBomb · 04/04/2023 11:59

LicoricePizza · 31/03/2023 22:29

“Oh I would’ve gone for the most expensive one wouldn’t I?! Trust me!” followed by “That’s why I brought HIM!’ Cue the partner rolling his eyes & performing the pantomime of “How much this time?” while boasting “She’s got expensive taste” & “Put it on that” brandishing his card.

🤮

I have a relative like this. She once said so a sales clerk as she rung up some pricey thing, I kid you not, 'I married money!' I wanted to dig a hole and dive into it.

They were well off but by no means wealthy.

hourbyhour101 · 04/04/2023 12:15

Friend of mine boast about her massive house and she just had to get a cleaner because it's so large.

It's 4 bed new build of fairly standard size (maybe a bit smaller due to location in the south) bedrooms boxey.

😩 I remember once her loudly saying to a friend that she must be so grateful for her small flat as it must be so easy to clean even if to her she would feel suffocated in a place so small.

She was annoyed one of the babies in the group was potty trained before her baby. Saying it was because her lo have so far to walk to the potty in her giant house is why it's taking her longer.

I just sat there so gobsmacked I was catching flies. I wanted to say but your house lovely but averaged sized. But honestly I just wanted it to stop 😵‍💫

ReneBumsWombats · 04/04/2023 12:20

She was annoyed one of the babies in the group was potty trained before her baby. Saying it was because her lo have so far to walk to the potty in her giant house is why it's taking her longer.

😂

But honestly I just wanted it to stop

I'd have actively encouraged it after that. "My baby isn't toilet trained yet because my house is so big it takes her too long to walk to the potty..." That's absolute gold!

Mylittlefanny · 04/04/2023 12:28

I wasn't bragging. The woman annoyed me as she was implying I didn't breastfeed because my kids had colds. Her perfect baby was bf so hasn't had a cold! Which pissed me off as she was judging me for what I looked and sounded like. I once asked about a jacket a woman was wearing at a baby group. She looked me dead in the eye and said " oh too expensive for you" and walked off! I spend my life with people assuming I'm thick, make judgements about my clothes. It really used to bother me but I'm getting too a duck 🦆 fuck you point. During lockdown the school what's app group classes were amusing for this, want little Brody got up to with their giant castle of toilets rolls made out of sustainable who gives a crap toilet rolls 😂

Mylittlefanny · 04/04/2023 12:30

If I ever heard stuff like this, ooh I have a call. Pops air pod in ear and listen intently! 😂

hourbyhour101 · 04/04/2023 12:46

ReneBumsWombats · 04/04/2023 12:20

She was annoyed one of the babies in the group was potty trained before her baby. Saying it was because her lo have so far to walk to the potty in her giant house is why it's taking her longer.

😂

But honestly I just wanted it to stop

I'd have actively encouraged it after that. "My baby isn't toilet trained yet because my house is so big it takes her too long to walk to the potty..." That's absolute gold!

What's worse is I have asd so I know social situations aren't my ball game so In my head I just wanted to yell but your house is normal sized why do you keep making it sound like your living in a mansion.

She also did say her baby had learnt some French words aged 6 months. She was English, no connection to France at all. The baby was babbling (whether it be English or French I could not tell)

I can not tell you how confusing this situation was for me.

LicoricePizza · 04/04/2023 13:15

NotAnotherBathBomb · 04/04/2023 11:59

I have a relative like this. She once said so a sales clerk as she rung up some pricey thing, I kid you not, 'I married money!' I wanted to dig a hole and dive into it.

They were well off but by no means wealthy.

Show quote history

That’s what makes it so cringe because usually they aren’t!!

Namechangethisonetime · 04/04/2023 14:13

ItsThePlayBusDingDing · 31/03/2023 21:31

I seem to attract weirdo boasters.

One school mum complimented my long hair, I thanked her and she said "of course I love my kids too much to have long hair, all that work could be time spent with them". My jaw was on the floor. She had really short dyed red hair, I spend 30 seconds a day brushing mine and hadn't had a haircut in a decade 🤣

My old neighbour was always boasting as well, we had kids the same age and everything I said about mine hers had done it better, or faster, absolutely hilarious, I had fun for ages making shit up so she could outdo me. My favourite thing she ever did was tell me that she couldn't possibly have bought her dc cheaper nappies, my dc, of course, wouldn't be used to the finer things in life as I was a renter, but her dc had higher standards due to them being homeowners 🤣

A family member is also one of those people who say they have been to eleven-elite if you've been to Tenerife. Things he has said/done have included catching my period pains and having them worse, (apparently) talking to a gynological consultant in a pub one day and being told, beyond all doubt, that his headaches were far worse than any Labour pains anyone ever had (when i was pregnant) every qualification I've ever gained he has got it as well, but better and to a higher standard, despite it not being anything like his line of work.

Even my own mother (nc now) told me when I was 18, in labour, with a poorly baby, that she did labour better and I was being dramatic, she just had to put her hand on her stomach to feel contractions, then she buggered off for lunch with her posh friends daughter to slag me off for being pathetic when i was in active labour in a strage hospital miles from home. Then I was rushed straight to surgery after I had my baby so she stayed with him, I came round after my op and the first thing she said was that I missed the most important few hours of his life and she had them, and told me I failed at parenting already. She held that over me, even mentioning it to everyone at his funeral, until I stopped talking to her, she's probably still telling everyone to this day.

No idea why these people migrate to me really, if someone says they are better than me I just shrug and agree 🤣

My god, that is awful. Your mother sounds absolutely toxic. That’s not a meaningless stealth boast from someone with a lack of self-awareness, or a bit of one-up manship- her comments were purely designed to hurt you. I am sorry about your baby, your mother should have treated you so much better than that 💐

JaggySplinter · 04/04/2023 15:40

My partner sometimes does the very annoying "teeny tiny" thing. They are ever so slightly shorter than me, but a bit heavier, for context. They eat more than me most of the time, but regularly comment on being small so they can't fit much food in them. Er, no. You have a totally normal appetite for someone our size! I really don't know where they got the idea they are somehow 'small'. It's especially irritating with drinking at the same time as eating. Apparently they just can't fit liquid inside them 😂

Notmybloodymonkeys · 04/04/2023 16:25

Verv · 03/04/2023 12:53

A guy spent about 10 minutes showing off about his Casio watch.
Waterproof, kept perfect time, and just proved that any watch worth more than 25 quid was for insecure wankers who had to show their wealth through their wrists because they didnt have what it took to be a real man.

I work in the luxury watch industry.
The only thing he managed to prove was his radical insecurity and the size of the chip on his shoulder.

Are you in Edinburgh as I have an ex-acquaintance who regularly tweets about his Casio watch on a regular basis? He also thinks it’s a massive flex that he’s never watched Game of Thrones and likes to say that it’s a lifestyle choice for him not to watch tv. Except he regularly watches it and mostly absolute shite channel 5 shows.

Amabitnewhere · 04/04/2023 18:06

warmmfeet · 31/03/2023 21:54

@RashOfBees my friend literally messaged me today to tell me her son had done midsummer nights dream in reception assembly today "didn't you do that for GCSE?"

This is hilarious! 🤣

Elvis1956 · 04/04/2023 19:56

postwarbulge · 01/04/2023 15:45

What the long-hours culture tossers of the 'sleep is for wimps' type, who would contrive to send emails timed to the early hours of the morning,

I had a boss like that in the mid 90s when she was the first person I knew to have email at home. It was always "I sent you an email at 1am this morning" .... I swear I only did this once but I asked "oh what was it about" and she told me (pointless sending the email then.). I stopped my self doing it again as she was actually really nice and a great boss, just felt the company couldn't exist without her.
Sadly, her husband left her, she came into work one morning in tears because her 3 year old called the Nanny mummy...and the company still made her redundant during the next(all too frequent) 're structure. I just hope she learnt from it and had a better work/life balance

Elvis1956 · 04/04/2023 21:09

JKTrolling · 01/04/2023 23:31

My favourite book is To Kill a Mockingbird. I didn’t read it as school though. Everyone I know that read it as school hates it now for some reason. I think I was lucky to have read it in my 30s.

Show quote history

Not me I got it (twice) for Xmas when I was 14. I carry a copy with me i f I think I may have some time to waste as I've read it so many times I can dip.in and out.....God I sound so.so sad (and the defo ain't a boast)

Newyearnewhome · 04/04/2023 22:00

sashh · 03/04/2023 08:52

No, she was home before the post card arrived, it was a common occurrence back in the day.

But hey if you feel the need to nit pick a story from a stranger for, I'm not sure what?

Does it make you feel better?

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For what it’s worth @sashh I found your story very funny!

asdfgasdfg · 05/04/2023 19:32

Re sick notes, many GPs will issue a private sick note, usually about £20.

sussexpud · 06/04/2023 01:21

I am an older mum and when I had my kid other younger mums would smugly say they didn't even have a TV! Turns out they watched programmes on their laptops or tablets but somehow this was better than having a TV.

Sparklybutold · 06/04/2023 01:24

At a funeral. Family member boasting about his financial assets.

PyongyangKipperbang · 06/04/2023 01:46

Sparklybutold · 06/04/2023 01:24

At a funeral. Family member boasting about his financial assets.

OMG That just reminded me!

Not me but someone I used to work with. Her father was very ill and the outlook wasnt good. Her and her mother were caring for him and kind of coming to peace with losing him. She was in a right state at work, constantly exhausted with the caring, the kids and her job that she couldnt afford to lose. Then her mother died out of the blue, she was very healthy no reason to think that she would suddenly pass like that. It pretty much broke her father and he died a few weeks later.

So within 2 months she lost both parents.

She came back to work and told us about what a so called "friend" had said at her fathers funeral. She asked how my colleague was and she said that she was doing ok but the thought of sorting our finances, paying for the funeral, probate etc was all a bit daunting and the "friend" said "Well my parents were very organised about that and left me a millionaire, so I suppose thats one thing I never had to worry about!"

Obviously she cut the "friend" off but it still makes my head spin when I think about it, how could anyone say that?!

pompomdaisy · 06/04/2023 03:04

Parents that brag that although their child has an anxiety disorder they were managing it without medication. So that's why they are at home all day and not in school eh?

Changechangechanging · 06/04/2023 07:10

I am a single parent. Daily playground exchange of pleasantries with woman with same aged children one day asks me what I'll do in September when youngest starts school nursery. Explained I would be starting teacher training. She looks horrified and promptly tells me she would love to do the same and I now quote....'but I can't. Because I have a husband".

postwarbulge · 06/04/2023 07:29

An insulin-dependent diabetic in the staffroom had the ludicrous notion that if he cut down slowly enough, he could wean himself off his insulin. He would go into crisis, have to be stabilised and would be fine until he got it into his head to start again.