Page 24 | To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

phonemouse · 2023-03-31T19:19:05+00:00

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

Startwithamimosa · 02/04/2023 22:44

Goodyetalso · 01/04/2023 13:29

The first time I met my MIL:

Her: “how tall are you?”
Me: “I’m 5’4”
Her: “HA - I’m 5’6”

Err, ok. Well done on growing I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

Im short, and I have found other short people (just slightly taller than me) are always really rude about it

lv884 · 02/04/2023 22:44

limitedperiodonly · 01/04/2023 17:12

Oh my fucking God. People who don't watch telly. What prats.

My job is watching telly. Just tell them it's a popular art form for the masses like Mozart was in the 18th century before he died and opera got expensive,

Ah, I agree. I can appreciate a great narrative or well-constructed character in a good series as much as a book. It’s not mutually exclusive from being a bookworm (which I am) or having whatever interest they have which they deem more highbrow.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 02/04/2023 23:23

ricketybeauty · 31/03/2023 22:05

I do this about having had an enormous monster baby. Literally, no one can say anything to me about a big baby - I’ll shoehorn it in wherever I can

I've got to say I'm probably like this about my twins.

Oh, didn't I say I had twins?!

(nobody gives a shit now they're not babies lol)

JambalayaOrGumbo · 03/04/2023 00:09

Was a team leader of data entry workers. There were 2 teams (morning and afternoon) and I found out that the other team leader was pushing her team to get through more folders than my team and then bragging about how much better her team was than mine.
So each day, I'd take a few completed folders off her yesterday's pile and add them to ours, so we'd have 2 or 3 more than them - until her team complained and said they were being overworked for her ego.
Once she stopped, I stopped too and all was good in data entry world again.

Twinsmummy1812 · 03/04/2023 00:16

I have a boast I will shoehorn into any conversation where I can. While doing my smear the nurse commented that I have the cervix of an 18 year old virgin (my twins were delivered through the sunroof). I’m weirdly proud of it and this is very outing because as I mentioned, I’ll tell anybody if there’s the slightest opportunity so loads of people know 😂

IsaiditwasLighthearted · 03/04/2023 00:50

Nimrode · 31/03/2023 22:09

Had a boss who used to boast about how she only had 2 weeks maternity leave, usually to any team member that was pregnant. There's a well known poster on here who also braggs every so often about having 2 weeks off...or was it 2 days?? basically chucked the baby out and went straight back into their strategy meeting.

Xenia? The famous MN lawyer? Might be her. I always feel the urge to do that finger twirling cuckoo thing when I see her name.

DrFoxtrot · 03/04/2023 01:07

Twinsmummy1812 · 03/04/2023 00:16

I have a boast I will shoehorn into any conversation where I can. While doing my smear the nurse commented that I have the cervix of an 18 year old virgin (my twins were delivered through the sunroof). I’m weirdly proud of it and this is very outing because as I mentioned, I’ll tell anybody if there’s the slightest opportunity so loads of people know 😂

my cervix was described as 'well used' during a smear test.

Zipadeebooyah · 03/04/2023 01:07

Twinsmummy1812 · 03/04/2023 00:16

I have a boast I will shoehorn into any conversation where I can. While doing my smear the nurse commented that I have the cervix of an 18 year old virgin (my twins were delivered through the sunroof). I’m weirdly proud of it and this is very outing because as I mentioned, I’ll tell anybody if there’s the slightest opportunity so loads of people know 😂

What does this actually mean? You don't get rammed through the cervix when you have sex. Why would a virgin's cervix be any different?

Zipadeebooyah · 03/04/2023 01:38

sashh · 02/04/2023 07:04

I've just remembered. My aunt went on her first holiday abroad and sent us a postcard (1980s) she said how the weather was nice and the food was amazing.

She was self catering.

I don't think you know what self-catering means.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/04/2023 02:26

Zipadeebooyah · 03/04/2023 01:07

What does this actually mean? You don't get rammed through the cervix when you have sex. Why would a virgin's cervix be any different?

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Uh, I think the question is: Why would the nurse say that to you during a pelvic exam (or ever)? 🤮

Eesa2812 · 03/04/2023 02:27

I would be the highest rank idiot because i was do loud everyone can hear me in the halls.

Furries · 03/04/2023 04:41

TeenLifeMum · 31/03/2023 22:43

My ex friend has 4 toilets which makes her superior to us 3-toilet beings don’t you know. She manages to drop it into any conversation with new people just to ensure they know she has a big house.

Technically, there are four in my house. One of them is the litter tray!

LicoricePizza · 03/04/2023 07:01

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/04/2023 02:26

Uh, I think the question is: Why would the nurse say that to you during a pelvic exam (or ever)? 🤮

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Presumably if @Twinsmummy1812 had had her kids as she says through the sunroof ie C section maybe nurse was saying hence why her cervix looks like that of an 18 yr old virgin’s. ie no kids been through it. Obvs quite funny chat sounding worse when taken out of context. Twinsmummy clearly wasn’t offended by it! TBF it is a good brag bcos nobody has ever heard of or can top it really 🤣

I had a nurse tell me she could see the scars from pre cancerous treatment on mine & v helpfully that it was retroverted. So they do comment on them.
Not something I shoehorn into conversation however although the next time the tiny feet, wrist & ankle folk pipe up, I might start bemoaning the angle of my uterus 🤣

sashh · 03/04/2023 07:38

Newname221 · 02/04/2023 11:00

You do know that “self catering” doesn’t mean you need to cook the food yourself, right?

We go self catering and eat out for every meal, bar maybe breakfast.

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Yes I know that.

But they didn't eat out at all.

DrManhattan · 03/04/2023 08:01

Mylittlefanny · 02/04/2023 20:14

My kids were on the bus, sneezing. Constantly wiping their nose. Woman opposite holding a 3 month old in a sling, eying me up looks like she walked out a Boden, toast catalogue. Smirked at me,( I don't wear your average yummy mummy clothes) looked me in the eye. And said In a superior voice I breastfeed so my baby won't ever get a cold.... 🙄. Mine both decided they wanted a feed at the same time. So I popped them on my boobs tandem fed them and smirked at her 😉. Said oh been tandem feeding for 3yrs now... Her jaw dropped and she decided she wanted to be friendly. I just ignored her! Smarmy cow

So you breast fed two three year olds on a bus? You win

Bamboux · 03/04/2023 08:45

sashh · 03/04/2023 07:38

Yes I know that.

But they didn't eat out at all.

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So she sent a postcard saying "the weather is great, the food is amazing, but we're not eating out at all, we're buying all of the food in shops and making it ourselves, but the food is amazing". And you found that hilariously funny.

Yeah, sounds legit.

sashh · 03/04/2023 08:52

Bamboux · 03/04/2023 08:45

So she sent a postcard saying "the weather is great, the food is amazing, but we're not eating out at all, we're buying all of the food in shops and making it ourselves, but the food is amazing". And you found that hilariously funny.

Yeah, sounds legit.

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No, she was home before the post card arrived, it was a common occurrence back in the day.

But hey if you feel the need to nit pick a story from a stranger for, I'm not sure what?

Does it make you feel better?

Kate0902900908 · 03/04/2023 09:00

My best friend explains in details every time she gets a new boyfriend how they just can’t let go of her in bed for cuddles when they are asleep?!, they have to be literally strangling her in a bear hug grip for every single moment. How she tries to ‘get away’ and is immediately retrieved from the slither of bed she is on…. She goes into great detail about positions she has to do to try and become ‘freed’ I don’t get it but she has said it now the at last 3-4 partner/boyfriends/ all a bit weird but she definitely thinks it’s a flex…. i find it hard to believe and very strange.

CruCru · 03/04/2023 09:08

That would drive me mad (if it’s true). I don’t want to be pestered when I’m sleeping. Presumably she thinks it’s a sign of her desirability.

youshouldnthaveasked · 03/04/2023 09:28

Kate0902900908 · 03/04/2023 09:00

My best friend explains in details every time she gets a new boyfriend how they just can’t let go of her in bed for cuddles when they are asleep?!, they have to be literally strangling her in a bear hug grip for every single moment. How she tries to ‘get away’ and is immediately retrieved from the slither of bed she is on…. She goes into great detail about positions she has to do to try and become ‘freed’ I don’t get it but she has said it now the at last 3-4 partner/boyfriends/ all a bit weird but she definitely thinks it’s a flex…. i find it hard to believe and very strange.

That is just weird. Is she role playing tape?! Just awful. And makes me feel a bit sick

youshouldnthaveasked · 03/04/2023 09:28

That is just weird. Is she role playing tape?! Just awful. And makes me feel a bit sick

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*rape

ReneBumsWombats · 03/04/2023 09:33

I can believe that one. My husband and all past boyfriends have always been very cuddly at night and it can make it hard to sleep. Although none of them have been bear huggy death grippers. Just cuddly.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 03/04/2023 09:35

LicoricePizza · 03/04/2023 07:01

Presumably if @Twinsmummy1812 had had her kids as she says through the sunroof ie C section maybe nurse was saying hence why her cervix looks like that of an 18 yr old virgin’s. ie no kids been through it. Obvs quite funny chat sounding worse when taken out of context. Twinsmummy clearly wasn’t offended by it! TBF it is a good brag bcos nobody has ever heard of or can top it really 🤣

I had a nurse tell me she could see the scars from pre cancerous treatment on mine & v helpfully that it was retroverted. So they do comment on them.
Not something I shoehorn into conversation however although the next time the tiny feet, wrist & ankle folk pipe up, I might start bemoaning the angle of my uterus 🤣

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣

JauntyJinty · 03/04/2023 09:59

There's a man at my kids swimming lessons who always finds a way to loudly mention that he shops at Waitrose

Recently it was:

Dad: What are we doing after this?
Child: We need to buy milk
Dad: That's right, we're going to Waitrose

Now I like to image that he goes to Waitrose just for milk so he can justify talking about going there for another week!

Mylittlefanny · 03/04/2023 10:17

No it was the fact she was judging me assuming I wasn't bf as my kids had colds. And I don't look like that typical bf sling yummy mummy type. She said I breastfeed, assuming I didn't. So when I started she shut her ass up. Btw I don't care how anyone feeds their kids bottle breast etc. I do care when someone judges or puts someone down because of their choices!