To have laid in to this old man?

[knobheadex]

Something happened to me yesterday and I've been stewing on it ever since.

It's 3pm and I'm on the way to pick up the kids from school. I nip in the the local garage because I'm slightly early and need to pick up a few things anyway.

It's pretty busy so I wait my turn in the queue. When I get to the front I ask the friendly young guy for some low nicotine e-liquid. As part of the chat I mention how I usually buy Elf Bars but I'm trying to quit vaping now. Suddenly I'm aware of someone behind me shouting something, so I spun round to see what's going on. There's a tall, rotund white haired man standing at the back of the queue booming 'They'll all kill your anyway, love!'

I reply that I'm aware it's not healthy and that's why I'm trying to quit before turning back to pay for my stuff and get the hell out of there. But he's still shouting 'I don't drink and I've never smoked! You know why??! Because I'm the boss of this!' And he proceeds to tap the side of his head. 'I can do anything I put my mind to!'

I say 'thank you very much for the unsolicited advice random man' and carry on with the transaction. But he won't shut up. He's really belittling me now and suggesting that I am weak willed and pathetic for being addicted to something. I'm done paying now and turn to leave and he's yelling at me that his wife has emphysema because she smoked 40 a day. I say loudly 'Now I feel doubly sorry for your wife' and march towards the door.

He's still going, although I'm not sure exactly what he's shouting about now but I'm raging by this point. Who does he think he is? Would he be saying all of this to a man buying cigarettes? So I get to the door and then shout back at him 'Can do anything apparently, but can't mind your own fucking business or put down the pies long enough to drop a few inches off that waistband of yours'.

A few people in the queue gasped and I left feeling like I'd gone too far. Did I? Or did he deserve it, just a little bit?

I wouldn’t give it another thought. He behaved like a twat and you told him that. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

What a horrible man, he deserved far worse.

Good for you OP and don't worry about what other people thought. I'm sure he isn't sat at home stewing about what he said to you.
He might mind his own next time.

This.
Good for you, he deserved it. He could have kept his opinions to himself, but no. He went out of his way to try and belittle you.
Maybe next time he'll keep his fucking trap shut.

Of course his behaviour was out of order but why you can’t consider that he may be unwell and best to just walk away rather than engage like a screaming lunatic squaring up for a scrap. You could have had a bit of dignity but you really didn’t. Now there you are still stewing over it rather than shrugging it off and getting on with your day.

My Grandfather with dementia would have said things like this in the last year's of his life. No need to respond like you also have a mental disorder

My father in law likewise was like this before he got too bad to be out alone.
One might argue that he was already too bad to to be out alone, but as the pp I'm quoting quite rightly says, no need to respond like you also have a mental disorder. Worth repeating.

He sounds unhinged and your response was measured.

An elderly bloke once said something like this to my brother, who responded with, “Well you’ll be dead before I will!” That shut him up 😅

Lol at just accepting stuff like this in case the other person has dementia. Ffs. 😂

It's amazing how eloquent and quick witted some people can be when caught off guard and on the spur of the moment, isn't it?

He sounds like the type of arsehole who goes around telling women to smile.

I love your comebacks. 10/10.

If he is senile he won't remember the insult, and if he isn't, well, maybe he'll learn (though I doubt it)!

Oh no, I'm going to get my arse handed to me now courtesy of Mumsnet.
He was about 65. Not exactly ancient, but still old to me.

I'll get my coat.

Not really. As a woman, I’ve had years of practice. There’s no shortage of men offering unwanted advice randomly.

He sounds a bit disturbed to be honest...personally I'd have just smiled and ignored him.

Sounds like you're very easily offended and escalate things...could turn ugly one day.

She insulted his appearance. I consider that bullying.

The dictionary disagrees, snapping back at some nerk having a go at you first, with no justification, is certainly not bullying in any way, shape, or form.

He's an arrogant tosser, who was put back in his box.

Good for you, @knobheadex !

Disinhibition. and commenting as this old man did, are typical of dementia.
Walk away, don't allow sad old random strangers to bother you.
You probably have a better and longer life ahead than they do.

It's also typical of being a rude dickhead.

I'm assuming his wife is dying.
It sounds like he was very distressed.

Possibly, but I suspect even pissed or mentally unwell, he wouldn't have said those things to a man. It's funny which instincts survive in mental illness, and not being rude to people who might thump us is one that lasts the longest.

I think you were doing fine until you had a dig at his weight. That was the low road. I also think he probably was saying to you the things he wants to say to his wife.

What is the relevance of the man being old, or indeed the man at the till being young?

Of course it is.

Because he behaved like a rude dickhead the OP didn't have to sink to his level.

No, no @knobheadex , I wanted to gauge whether he was ' elderly' eg frail or just older than you .
Now I know he's 65 and fairly large in stature ( I mean overall not overweight) .
I say yanbu.
You were probably embarrassed and fed up of male comment and snapped.
Don't worry yourself about it any further .

God I hate these threads. Hey everyone I shouted fat folk abuse at,some random elderly gent , ,,,everyone…uou go girl

ffs

Haha!! Your response was absolutely perfect OP and you are a legend for having the balls to say it!!