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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Son didn't go to school for three days.

205 replies

Spopssas · 30/03/2023 21:31

School rang me on Monday, saying did I know that he hadn't attended that day, and was absent for three days last week.

No I didn't.

OP posts:
Albiboba · 30/03/2023 21:32

Okay?

Hellocatshome · 30/03/2023 21:32

And?

Original poster
Spopssas · 30/03/2023 21:33

Is it unreasonable to think the school should have discovered this?

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 30/03/2023 21:33

How did you not know? If my kids are 10 minutes late I get a text message telling me they aren’t there.

JMSA · 30/03/2023 21:33

They'd have ideally phoned you on day 1 of the truancy.

sweatynoob · 30/03/2023 21:33

If he is a teen then talk to him if he is 5 then worry that you forgot to take your child to school?

Albiboba · 30/03/2023 21:33

Is it unreasonable to think you, the parent, should have a better hold on your own child?

Marchforward · 30/03/2023 21:34

Had someone else been ringing the absence line and reporting him as sick?

MuthaHubbard · 30/03/2023 21:34

Erm well they did, and then told you.
Shouldn't you have discovered this?

RightWhereINeedToBe · 30/03/2023 21:34

Albiboba · 30/03/2023 21:33

Is it unreasonable to think you, the parent, should have a better hold on your own child?

FGS, how would a parent really know if a kid seems to have gone to school and come back? I did it all the time when I was 16!

Untitledsquatboulder · 30/03/2023 21:34

It's odd they didn't contact you previously. My kids' school are onto you in a couple of hours unless you ring the absence hotline or email.

Vegalam · 30/03/2023 21:35

Spopssas · 30/03/2023 21:33

Is it unreasonable to think the school should have discovered this?

They did?

How old is he and is this sort of behaviour out of the ordinary?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 30/03/2023 21:35

How old is your child?

Needmorelego · 30/03/2023 21:35

Primary or secondary?
Primary school should definitely be contacting the parents as soon as it's aware a child hasn't turned up and there has been no phone call or email from the parents. That's a standard safety rule I would have thought.
Secondary.... depends on age. If he is in 6th form they might have different rules.

Original poster
Spopssas · 30/03/2023 21:35

He is 15. No word from the school until monday when I had a call from his Head vof Year. Saying he wasn't in school and wasn't three days last week.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 30/03/2023 21:35

School did know though, it appears it is you that didn't know. Is there another parent they may have contacted about the other days of absence? How oldnis the child? Where was he on the days you thought he was at school?

Dreamer20 · 30/03/2023 21:36

Well rather than directing your annoyance at the school, maybe take it up with your delinquent son!

ButterCrackers · 30/03/2023 21:36

Arrange a meeting with the school. Other things might be happening there that you are unaware of. Ask your child where he was. Get all help available to ensure he’s not getting into trouble.

Sasha07 · 30/03/2023 21:37

I'd have had a phonecall by 9.20 if my child was absent without me leaving a message as to why. Weird they asked if you were aware of it as opposed to why he isn't in school.

piedbeauty · 30/03/2023 21:37

Right, well, my ds's school l would have emailed or texted me if he didn't turn up for registration. Ask the school what went wrong. Or did he turn up for registration then skive off after that?

Hellocatshome · 30/03/2023 21:38

At 15 he probably got a friend to ring the absence line or email or whatever the procedure is at his school. Why don't you ask him what the hell he is playing at instead of posting cryptic posts about your outrage at the school.

ChickenDhansak82 · 30/03/2023 21:38

Spopssas · 30/03/2023 21:33

Is it unreasonable to think the school should have discovered this?

The school have failed in their safeguarding duty.

I'm a teacher. If a child hasn't turned up at school and gets an N mark for registration and period 1, then if no one has contacted the school reporting the child as sick then a call home is made before 10am to establish their whereabouts.

So unless your child has faked their own sickness call then the school is at fault here.

Number24Bus · 30/03/2023 21:39

The school should have let you know on day 1, I'm amazed they didn't. Unless they tried to reach you and couldn't?

Original poster
Spopssas · 30/03/2023 21:39

Yes this is very out of the ordinary. He is a good lad. We talked at length on Monday evening. He said he feels he is doing badly and has no motivation. He also felt awful as he thought he would be pulled up on being absent straight away... instead, it took four days. We have never had this kind of issue before. I have heard nothing from ther school since.

OP posts:
AllOfThemWitches · 30/03/2023 21:40

'Delinquent' fgs. Who knows what the kid's going through.

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