Son didn't go to school for three days.

[Spopssas]

School rang me on Monday, saying did I know that he hadn't attended that day, and was absent for three days last week.

No I didn't.

My point is if he phoned in pretending to be Dad and gave the school an explanation - why would the school double check that info?

I can't believe people are blaming the OP. She's not psychic! School should have called her on the first day. They have failed in their safeguarding duties. I'm a teacher btw, not a schools-baaher.

Yes, this absolutely is a safeguarding issue.
If he had had an accident on the way to school, or decided not to go (as he did... for whatever reason) you should have been called on day one of an unauthorised absence.
The school should have electronic registers in place and any absences should be followed up on as soon as possible.

You wouldn’t be able to send a text at our school . I emailed attendance once when Ds was in hospital having spoke the day before , she still called me a hour or so later . Not that my kids would be brave enough to try this , but there’s no way they would be able to impersonate us .

To others who say school is not responsible well yes they do hold some responsibility. In no way is Op wrong to question why it took so long to be notified of these absences . I see it as 100 % working with the school , I notify them when child is absent and I expect them to notify me if something a miss . It really is a big safeguarding measure . It just wouldn’t happen at our school primary and secondary .

This is hilarious! Even your son is blaming the school and you're buying it. Your attitude is the reason your son is behaving like this. Time for you to start taking some responsibility and teach your son to do the same.

My son has now told me that this happened before. He has been absent for one day/two days in a row since I started my new job on Jan 9th - my hours changed and I now leave just before he goes to school, and get home at around 5.30/6pm. Before, I was usually home at about 3.30 or sometimes earlier or a little later.
He's obviously taken advantage of this. He says he's just not gone in on assessment days because he was frightened - maths, geography, film studies, french..It's just unbloody believable. His current attendance is 87%. He is sitting here with me going through it all on the school's Intranet website. It's called 'Praise Shop' but I apparently can't access it, only he can.
I am so gobsmacked I can't tell you. It is a 'good' school but perhaps it is smoke and mirrors. I'm sad for him as he is a good boy and a clever kid.

@dontsweatthesmallstufff and if the kid had gone in but had an accident on the way and OP didn't know until home time/when she got home from work?

Yes , kids fuck up. Consequences can be given and things dealt with if the parent know about it.Yes,parents fuck up too sometimes. None of that absolves the school from their responsibility or basic fucking safeguarding.

Op have you asked him if he was calling in with absence information?

Do is your issue with the school or your son?

Why not both?

Given the OP is managing to get her son to open up to her about what he's actually done and the reasons behind it, whilst being concerned about the schools shoddy safeguarding practices I would say she was doing a good job with both

Yes it needs dealing with by a firm hand as bunking off is not acceptable. However the school should have been more proactive in informing OP that her son wasn’t there on day one. The fact that OP works is irrelevant as DC is 15 and most 15 year olds are trusted to go to school on their own.

My mum was a stay at home mum then but she wouldn’t have walked me to school. I walked the half mile to the school bus and then got it on my own. I could have put on my school clothes, picked up my school bag, walked out the door and bunked off to the park in the opposite direction instead. My parents would have known nothing till the school phoned.

so hes done it before and theyve never phoned you-thats shocking

I think it's all a bit shocking too. I don't understand. I asked him if he rang in himself - he said he thought about it but there was no way he could imitate my voice. I asked if he emailed the school from my account..no, and there is no evidence of that.
He says he lacks motivation and is worried about doing badly in the PPEs which are after this easter break.
I'm sure a lot of them are. He had a meeting with the safeguarding lead today apparently, who told him not to worry about the PPEs as they are meaningless.

I'd have words with the school esp if you are sure he never called in or got someone else to call in.

Are you in England?
I thought it was law that if kids didn't turn up and no absence information called in school should contact you.
But it might just be a Scots law or just something that was discussed after Rory in Livingston was murdered.

Why are you guessing there was no consequence? Guessing that makes you look like a twat.

The OP is clearly focusing on her son by questioning the school for not contacting her. How is she supposed to know her son is truant if school don't tell her?

I am quietly devastated that my son convincingly pretended he had been at school...he even cooked his Catering GCSE dish at home and we had it for supper fgs. Olivier awards/baftas all round. Shocking level of acting and deceit.

However, he is also upset and confused that the school didn't notice that he was absent without parental (my) leave for four days.

Since the school hasn't 'punished' him (no consequences such as isolation, sent to SLT for example) I am not inclined to punish him at home either. He is very apologetic and I have NOT cancelled his trip tomorrow to London to stay with his godmother and see the Wallace Collection dogs exhibition.

A few days in London away from the stifling rural area we live in may reinvigorate him and remind him that his life is in his own hands.

@Spopssas you sound a lovely mum OP and of course the school should contact you on the first day of an absence-look up Andrew Godson for the the implications when this doesn't happen- my old LA and gives me the chills. Also it's past case precedent.

You have right to make a complaint or a less formal concern. This is a safeguarding concern too so theoretically could report to ofsted but do you want that? Address the complaint/ concern to the head and request a meeting to find out what measures are in place and why they didn't work.

On a different note We have a ring doorbell that handy for seeing who is coming and going and also consider find my iPhone or life 360 app.

The ring is great because its not primarily bought a an obvious means of checking up,

I hope London revives him and the Wallace collection is amazing and dogs sound even better!

I would probably complain as this is a serious failure of the school from a safe guarding stand point….. your son could’ve got knocked over or abducted on his way to school and you literally wouldn’t know to alert the police until he hadn’t come home after school…… meaning he could be missing or unidentified for 6 hours plus!!

They definitely need to get in trouble for this. What if you needed help at home and they didn't notice for days, like an accident. What if he had run off and you thought he was staying at a friends. What if he simply just got taken by someone any one of those days. Sounds like he needs a good ear and some special love and attention and I wouldn't punish him for it tbh. But the school does need to pulled up on it, they have duty of care regardless of the pupil number.

It is awful that they didn't tell you and of course you must take this further with the school.

But I think, even in the face of the fact that your son is an accomplished and irrefutable liar, you seem to be taking everything he tells you at face value.

You also seem to be justifying what he has done - he was worried about assessments, he was upset that nobody seemed to notice he was absent (really, more likely he was thrilled he got away with it), he lives in a rural area and needs a treat trip to London to cheer himself up.

What are the consequences for deceiving you? Mum is sympathetic and understanding, but very cross with the school and going to complain. I think he'll do it again because the consequences are not a deterrent.

Another one with limited thought capacity. Have you read any of the OP's replies? Is it not blatantly obvious that she's tackling both?

Nowhere have I said that it absolves the school of responsibility. OP needs to address the lack of communication with the school.

However the most important thing is to address her son's behaviour. Her conversations with him shouldn't be about the school's lack of communication, but about his choices, which he is responsible for.

I think you've got this OP. Sounds like a good save to me and his future looks much brighter now it has come out. I hope there are enough sane responses on this thread to convince you of the safeguarding failures which need to be addressed urgently.

I think tech solutions can backfire. Tracking his phone doesn't track him, and if he is out of school anyway he's much safer at home than walking the streets hiding from his own front door camera. I get the impression you are bringing it back to basics, connecting with him and working with the school, and that is entirely a good thing. He does need to know people notice and care where he is, whatever rules he has broken. The catering thing makes me think there's some "can't not won't" stuff going on here.

No GreenWheat it is not 'blatantly obvious' she is tackling anything.

She believes the school is not giving a consequence. Therefore she is not giving a consequence.

Spopssas what are you going to do to ensure this doesn't happen again (with school and with your child)?