AIBU to think this is a complete waste of bloody money now?!

[TheScreams]

For Christmas, DH booked us a weekend away. In reality, what that means is that at 10pm on Christmas Eve, DH realised he hadn’t bought me a bloody Christmas present and so booked an airbnb hut on a campsite for next weekend. He spoke to a relative we were staying with for Christmas and they agreed to have DS and DD for the weekend (booked from Saturday to Monday). I tried to be grateful at the time and not express that it was bloody obvious that he’d thrown it together at the last second and not given it a single second of actual thought.

He spoke to the relative a few weeks ago and they told him they can only look after DS and DD from 8pm Saturday until 8am Monday. So, we’ll get to the campsite from midnight on Saturday and will have to leave by 4am on Monday. He’s also not planned anything for the dogs so they’re coming too - so, on Sunday, our only day there, we can’t do anything that’s not dog friendly. But DH didn’t think to mention this until today.

I live in a bloody national park so I’m not sure why my Christmas present is travelling across the country, for “two nights” where I don’t get a decent night’s sleep on either and then get to have a dog walk and to sit in a pub for the day. I could bloody well do that two minutes from my house!

It’s bloody non-refundable. It feels like a complete and total waste of time and money to go on this trip. AIB a complete bitch to be completely ungrateful for this “gift” that actually just sounds like shit?

@moomoomoo27
”Unless murder was the goal.

(Not sure whether his or mine).”

i just woke my DH up trying to laugh silently.. I failed miserably as it resulted in me just causing the bed to shake quite vigorously as I chuckled inward to myself 😂 I’m not sure what he thought I was up to ha!

He gave her the booking confirmation, it’s date and time stamped.

The OP has said he gave her a print-out on Xmas Day that had the date and time of booking on it. It was booked late the night before.

Ah ok, I hadn’t seen that far ahead, just seen someone asking and thought id suggest a possible answer ha thank you for clarifying! 😊

Yea someone else just pointed that out lol I hadn’t seen that far ahead, got ahead of myself haha thank you 😊

Yes I kind of think this too. Also I don’t see why a last minute idea is inferior to something that’s been bought ages ago although I get the irritation at lack of planning. You don’t say how far away but a change of scenery is a good thing. He has put effort into it arranging childcare at least. I voted URNBU though because this kind of trip is better if planned together. And the timings are not at all attractive. I’d go though you might enjoy it. So might the dogs! Sometimes it’s good to be shaken into something different?

This would be a good plan apart from the fact that the same thing might happen next year!
I would go begrudgingly but make it clear you aren't enjoying it (if you aren't).
Who knows… maybe the real surprise is that you are going to a luxury boutique hotel/spa and not a campsite!

I don’t think I’d go unless I could go separately so arrive and leave at a decent time. Would anyone lend you a car? Or can he find any other childcare options? I gather you don’t want to go alone? (You could take a hot water bottle and a book and a thermos… )

I’ve regularly stayed in these sort of places and they are fab! The no electricity means lovely lanterns and calor gas for heating and cooking it’s very romantic and comfortable. They are a big notch up from camping. The gift is about something different. Money wise couldn’t you say the same about any gift from him as inevitably your shared finances? What would you have really liked to receive? It sounds like quite a sweet idea a bit of an adventure and something different for just the two of you. I’m like you and would probably have the same reaction but tbh when it’s come to it I’ve always enjoyed. Expressing milk hmm but it’s do able?

Wow big gifts in your household. Those you bought very generous but sorry not exactly imaginative. They are all things he could have bought ordinarily I know that’s what we all do but sometimes nice to get a gift that’s different. Don’t know what to say re fridge though I’m surprised. Any possibility that there is a fridge on site or at owners place ? Obviously to be understood strict control over contamination of any kind?

Sounds like an absolute shower of suit. A child and pet free night away would be lovely but he needs to work on his planning skills.

Shower of shit!

Need edit button!

@TheScreams could your DH go, drop the kids off and you pamper yourself at home for the weekend?

I know it was for both of you but it sounds so lazy and last minute. At the end of the day, it was meant to be a present for you.

All things considered, I’d cancel. I suspect the original childcare plan was not as firm as your DH implied and / or the relative totally forgot about it until reminded. Risk they’ll be late on the Saturday or it’s tricky to just drop and run so you end up leaving 8:30/9 after settling the kids and you end up arriving even later. You won’t get a full night’s sleep either night ( up on Sunday morning to let dogs out) and the thought of having to get up at 3:30am on the Monday would just hang over the Sunday. If it rains it will be miserable as dogs will limit where you can go. It’s Easter Sunday and I bet he hasn’t yet booked the pub for lunch. Plus the admin of going somewhere SC is almost the same for a night as a week in terms of what you need, esp if taking the dogs. I would cut my losses.

What on earth? 😂My grandparents are all dead too, but what has that got to do with anything? And if you haven't managed a single night away that's on you surely, especially if your kids are all grown up. This isn't a break for anyone, let alone a breastfeeding mother.

I think I’d find that too stressful. I wouldn’t go. If you go you will spend more money and come back shattered from the travel, late night/early morning etc.

There are three problems. 1. The last minute lack of effort in the present choice. 2. Inadequate childcare which means you don't get an actual decent rest. 3. Lack of facilities which means it will be uncomfortable and no fridge!
Don't go. Let him sulk.

It is a nice present with seriously crap planning.
if you already live in a place similar he should have booked something like a city break. However, the 2 main things are that

1. it was last minute but that doesn’t mean he didn’t put the effort in. He would have been desperate sure but he could have done nothing! Let him know that the fact it feels like he put no thought in bothers you. Christmas doesn’t change its date! He has all year to think of something nice.
2. the weekend booked just doesn’t really work. If you can’t cancel, can you make alterations to change the booking to a more suitable weekend? Better to pay £20 to make changes to something better fitting and more enjoyable than lose it all together!

That's quite a nice present really.

Far better to plan an all day hike, far away from your home, with the children and dogs. Print out the planned route (showing thought went into it) and put it into a show box with a pair of second-hand hiking boot with no laces. But let him know you've arranged for a friend to lend you laces.

Point out how children will be accomodated for a long hike might be an issue, also acknowledge that food and drink supply might be an issue. Keep repeating these problems, however don't come up with the solution

Reveal v close to the date your friend can still lend the laces, but it's only one lace.

Sulk when he doesn't wear the boots and tell him he's ungraded. Your present was amazing, it's his fault the children and dogs are an issue, and there's no food or water.

OP I'm surprised this hasn't popped up in a newspaper. One of my posts did. It's ridiculous.

Some men really don't think things through.

Could you take the kids as well as the dogs and the hubby. Have a change of scenery and not have to worry about the childcare etc.

Then tell hubby to plan something better for your birthday!

See if another arrangement can happen for your child. Can a friend drop him off and pick them up and you have longer away.
It sounds nice to be away together without the child..
Otherwise, take the child with you.

Maybe for men of people you know.

😂

Nor would I.

Send him, with thugs and the kids, and spend your weekend doing whatever you want (or bugger all, if you prefer.

*dogs, not thugs

FFS autocarrot - just for ONCE can you behave yourself!