How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad

[Pink39tree]

Right going to bullet point as much as possible otherwise it’s too long:
-I’m the maid of honour that organised a hen do abroad.
-19 of us going originally was 20
-small boutique adult only resort. , we have booked 10 rooms. We were under the impression that as we had booked nearly all the rooms we would pretty much have exclusive access to the whole resort. It’s okay if we we didn’t and there were other guests there but it’s just so your aware that in terms of guests there it would be just us so hard to avoid each other
-sister in law of the bride is the typical nightmare sister in law, has made the whole process difficult
-SIL then decided she wanted to pull out AFTER WE BOOKED as she couldn’t justify spending that much on a hen do.
-She wanted her money back for the room, as she’s a difficult person who can’t get her head around the fact it’s already been paid to hotel and if we cancel the room the other person sharing her room would be without a room or we all have to pay to reimburse her
-This caused a big bust up as SIL was adamant she wanted money back, so bride took the hit and paid her sum.
-This was 4 months ago, everything settled. Now SIL has disclosed that she really doesn’t want to miss out on hen and as she couldn’t justify spending this much on a hen do so she’s combining this with her family holiday so she’s rebooked to our holiday with the brides 4 nieces and nephews that are all young and the brides future brother in law (brother of the groom)
-How can I help fix this, brides distraught she doesn’t want to let her hair loose and getting drunk while her nieces and nephews are sat in the pool watching her and her brother in law who is very conservative to see everything that’s going on.
-Additionally the brides nieces and nephews are very attached to her and so she knows they will keep coming up to her.
-Have already emailed the hotel to ask why for an adult only hotel 4 children are being allowed to stay, so far it appears that they were under the impression they were joining our big booking and as we would of then booked all available rooms for that time then it would be okay.
-Have been in contact with hotel also to ask to cancel booking because surely allowing children there is a breach of their contract of being “adult only” so far they are not budging
-If we push to have the hotel cancel their booking due to the no children rule then SIL will know it’s come from us.
help….

I look forward to the response from the hotel.

I’d tell her she booked, then cancelled and had a refund. Her place on the hen party is no longer available.

Me too. Awaiting hotels response.

Imagine the nightmare of turning up at your small, peaceful retreat to be surrounded by 19 hens messing around the pool with inflatable willies 😆 perhaps the hotel booked the children in so that you’d have to rein it in?! Obviously they’re in the wrong here though

I would be very tempted to send something like this, I think you’re right to wait til you hear back from the hotel though.

I organised a hen do for my friend years ago and her SiL was a total pain in the arse, just unable to put anyone else first other than herself for 5 mins and whined and made a fuss about every fucking thing possible.

I really hope this gets resolved for you!

"“Xxxxx is an Adults only retreat hotel in the heart of XXXX that embody’s this concept and targets to guests that appreciate the blissful and relaxing scenario that this kind of environment offers. To ensure undisturbed escapism XXXX has a minimum age of at least 18 for all guests.”

😂😂😂. Even if you Ignore 'embody's' I can't believe anyone could write such drivel . Maybe Google translate is trolling us.

I could be hazarding a wild guess but that sounds like a quotation from their own advertising 'blurb'?

Could you get the hotel to change your date OP, and not tell the SIL?

And???

I do read stuff like this quite abit, I have to admit it is so i can avoid staying at them

Tbh I'd be brutal, if the groom and his brother aren't close to the point he's not even going on the stag why bother maintaining a relationship with a SIL you can't stand. Set the boundaries now 🤷

Maybe posted on reddit copied to tiktok and mumsnet

Sorry, it was just a bit of a joke.

I have offered up I hope some good advice. I’m still interested to hear if you are all inclusive at the hotel as you can hit them in the pocket. If you’re not AI you will potentially be spending a huge amount at the bar and restaurant. But not if SIL and family are there, you’ll take your cash and spend elsewhere.

Did you book on a credit card? If you did and they won’t refund you as requested I suggest you threaten to make a claim through your credit card company to reclaim the money then see why they see. If they don’t budge I’d be contacting the bank. When I did it (though different scenario) I just had to send evidence that I had contacted their customer services and there was either no response or no refund.

Btw can you find an air bnb or two and put a deposit down that’s refundable if you manage to get the hotel to cancel SIL booking? You’re right finding a place for 19 is going to be tricky!

Also depending on your airline you can get credit and rebook flights if you want to change them so if you’re really struggling for 19 and the money I’d rebook the whole thing possibly shorter at any venue you could fly to within the budget that looked decent, anyway good luck!

Why can't you just tell SIL or the brother this is not happening. Sorry but they need to change their booking otherwise you will all cancel and they won't be able to go there then anyway as its adults only.

THIS is the message you should be sending.

She won’t respond to subtly or kindness or negotiation or ‘appealing to her better nature’. She is a pure thick-as-pig-shit, self-absorbed mare. You need to go nuclear on this one.

It really is vile. Also interesting that this poster cannot see the irony in calling others selfish and entitled while being just that.

Oh no, you won't be able to parade inflatable male genitalia if there are children around, my heart bleeds.

But surely if they have decided that's what they want to do, in an adult only hotel, for a hen do when it is just their party there then what's wrong with that. That comment is spectacularly missing the point.

Oh well, they'll just have to act like civilised human beings then.

What I find most surprising about this thread is just how many grown adults have Tik Tok.

That's not the point though, they booked an adults only hotel so they can socialise with adults. It wouldn't be my cup of tea to have inflatable willies and the like but if I book and adults only hotel I don't want bloody kids there! It's got fuck all to do with acting like civilised human beings.