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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad

512 replies

Pink39tree · 28/03/2023 17:23

Right going to bullet point as much as possible otherwise it’s too long:
-I’m the maid of honour that organised a hen do abroad.
-19 of us going originally was 20
-small boutique adult only resort. , we have booked 10 rooms. We were under the impression that as we had booked nearly all the rooms we would pretty much have exclusive access to the whole resort. It’s okay if we we didn’t and there were other guests there but it’s just so your aware that in terms of guests there it would be just us so hard to avoid each other
-sister in law of the bride is the typical nightmare sister in law, has made the whole process difficult
-SIL then decided she wanted to pull out AFTER WE BOOKED as she couldn’t justify spending that much on a hen do.
-She wanted her money back for the room, as she’s a difficult person who can’t get her head around the fact it’s already been paid to hotel and if we cancel the room the other person sharing her room would be without a room or we all have to pay to reimburse her
-This caused a big bust up as SIL was adamant she wanted money back, so bride took the hit and paid her sum.
-This was 4 months ago, everything settled. Now SIL has disclosed that she really doesn’t want to miss out on hen and as she couldn’t justify spending this much on a hen do so she’s combining this with her family holiday so she’s rebooked to our holiday with the brides 4 nieces and nephews that are all young and the brides future brother in law (brother of the groom)
-How can I help fix this, brides distraught she doesn’t want to let her hair loose and getting drunk while her nieces and nephews are sat in the pool watching her and her brother in law who is very conservative to see everything that’s going on.
-Additionally the brides nieces and nephews are very attached to her and so she knows they will keep coming up to her.
-Have already emailed the hotel to ask why for an adult only hotel 4 children are being allowed to stay, so far it appears that they were under the impression they were joining our big booking and as we would of then booked all available rooms for that time then it would be okay.
-Have been in contact with hotel also to ask to cancel booking because surely allowing children there is a breach of their contract of being “adult only” so far they are not budging
-If we push to have the hotel cancel their booking due to the no children rule then SIL will know it’s come from us.
help….

OP posts:
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Pink39tree · 04/04/2023 18:36

Really sorry for the delay I have come down with a flu/chest infection and have barely left my bed all week. Feeling better now but here is the reply from the hotel.

I’ve also attached some screenshots from the messages between the bride and her sister in law who as you can imagine did not take it well.

Its frustrating the the bride is even being so nice to her

How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad
How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad
OP posts:
Pink39tree · 04/04/2023 18:38

I was only apple to add a set amount of pictures so here are the messages.

How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad
How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad
How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad
How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad
OP posts:
Pink39tree · 04/04/2023 18:42

Autocorrect!!! That is meant to say able!

OP posts:
cartagenagina · 04/04/2023 18:43

Oh well. At least her cheekyfuckeryness has been thwarted, and the holiday will be child free.

Anotherporkypie · 04/04/2023 18:47

Result!

Stravawindow · 04/04/2023 18:47

I think the bride has been very polite. SIL would have gotten the sharp end of my tongue!

Antiquiteas · 04/04/2023 18:48

Fucking hell, the sister in law is such a stupid twat 😆😆😆 how is anyone that lacking in self-awareness?!!

PuppyMonkey · 04/04/2023 18:50

I can’t believe use have been so heartless OP.Grin

Pink39tree · 04/04/2023 18:50

Bride is way too nice, I’m raging that I’ve been called a muppet 🤣 Bride won’t let me message her. Really wouldn’t be surprised if SIL stick rocks up

OP posts:
CraneBoysMysteries · 04/04/2023 18:51

The bride is an utter saint to put up with that entitled twattery

Talipesmum · 04/04/2023 18:52

Well done all of you - but honestly, what a tit! If she wants to book a nice holiday for her family, she could perfectly well have done it somewhere else! Why would she do that and then be all guilt trippy to the poor bride? Bla bla my children are crying - well you shouldn’t have booked them on a totally inappropriate holiday then you fool. Can’t they book somewhere else so they don’t waste the flights and just have a family holiday elsewhere?

ErikaReadsTheDailyMail · 04/04/2023 18:56

Haha she's ridiculous!

what an absolutely entitled madam.

What planet is she on?
Your mate has stood up to her very politely and very assertively.

I love the "you explain it to the kids" bit- easy, "mummy thought the rules didn't apply to her so she booked a holiday that children weren't allowed on".

Honestly this is a great update.

Madamecastafiore · 04/04/2023 18:57

Use!!

phobiaofsocialmedia · 04/04/2023 18:58

Why didn't she just decline the hen from the start and book her own holiday for her family if it's a money issue?

Why can't the Dad look after the kids if she does go if it's a childcare issue?

It's not compulsory to go on a hen abroad.

niugboo · 04/04/2023 18:58

I wish this thread would hit the DM so SIL can see that literally no one is in her camp.

carameansbeloved · 04/04/2023 19:03

The amount of self restraint the bride has shown is admirable. I’d be raging.

She didn’t spoil the holiday because it is not a holiday, it is a HEN DO!

Children are traditionally and famously NOT INVITED to hen do’s so SIL can explain her own stupid mistake to her own children!

(I was shouting this in my head when I read those texts so had to get it out!! Like I said, the bride has impeccable restraint.)

anxiouslemons · 04/04/2023 19:15

This is a great update!
I can understand bride trying to keep the peace a little with her future SIL, it'll be years and years of awkward Christmases coming up now

Asbopheasant · 04/04/2023 19:17

Think that the advice from posters has been amazing. Free treatments, bill discount and sister n law problem sorted. Well done Pink39tree. Have a great child free hen trip😎

cartagenagina · 04/04/2023 19:20

Why on earth is she saying she will lose money and her kids can’t go on holiday?

Obviously the hotel will refund, and she can book a hotel that actually caters for children.

What a fucking idiot.

AliceOlive · 04/04/2023 19:30

What a great update! Bride is so gracious and lovely.

Hope you are feeling better, I’ve had the flu, too and it’s awful!

Moser85 · 04/04/2023 19:34

I'd ask for this to be deleted now OP in case the dailymail pick it up.

It would be shit if things cool down slightly and then this thread ends up in the papers and it all blows up between the group 😳

RandomMess · 04/04/2023 19:43

So her DH is free and able to come on the hen do but not able to stay at home and look after his own children so the SIL could go without them as she was supposed to?

Iloveacurry · 04/04/2023 19:59

Unbelievable! What an absolute twat SIL is. And how useless her DH is if he can’t take care of his own children.

Please can I ask what SIL’s hen do was like? Did she have kids attend hers? Probably not I would imagine.

CurzonDax · 04/04/2023 20:04

Good update.
I hope "use" all have a great time on the holiday!

Ginger1982 · 04/04/2023 21:08

I'm confused. Why can't her DH stay at home and watch the kids?

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