How to stop SIL bringing children to girls hen do abroad

[Pink39tree]

Right going to bullet point as much as possible otherwise it’s too long:
-I’m the maid of honour that organised a hen do abroad.
-19 of us going originally was 20
-small boutique adult only resort. , we have booked 10 rooms. We were under the impression that as we had booked nearly all the rooms we would pretty much have exclusive access to the whole resort. It’s okay if we we didn’t and there were other guests there but it’s just so your aware that in terms of guests there it would be just us so hard to avoid each other
-sister in law of the bride is the typical nightmare sister in law, has made the whole process difficult
-SIL then decided she wanted to pull out AFTER WE BOOKED as she couldn’t justify spending that much on a hen do.
-She wanted her money back for the room, as she’s a difficult person who can’t get her head around the fact it’s already been paid to hotel and if we cancel the room the other person sharing her room would be without a room or we all have to pay to reimburse her
-This caused a big bust up as SIL was adamant she wanted money back, so bride took the hit and paid her sum.
-This was 4 months ago, everything settled. Now SIL has disclosed that she really doesn’t want to miss out on hen and as she couldn’t justify spending this much on a hen do so she’s combining this with her family holiday so she’s rebooked to our holiday with the brides 4 nieces and nephews that are all young and the brides future brother in law (brother of the groom)
-How can I help fix this, brides distraught she doesn’t want to let her hair loose and getting drunk while her nieces and nephews are sat in the pool watching her and her brother in law who is very conservative to see everything that’s going on.
-Additionally the brides nieces and nephews are very attached to her and so she knows they will keep coming up to her.
-Have already emailed the hotel to ask why for an adult only hotel 4 children are being allowed to stay, so far it appears that they were under the impression they were joining our big booking and as we would of then booked all available rooms for that time then it would be okay.
-Have been in contact with hotel also to ask to cancel booking because surely allowing children there is a breach of their contract of being “adult only” so far they are not budging
-If we push to have the hotel cancel their booking due to the no children rule then SIL will know it’s come from us.
help….

“Xxxxx is an Adults only retreat hotel in the heart of XXXX that embody’s (aaarrrggghhh) this concept and targets to guests that appreciate the blissful and relaxing scenario that this kind of environment offers. To ensure undisturbed escapism XXXX has a minimum age of at least 18 for all guests.”

So poorly written. Is this real? I don’t want to be targeted by concepts.

Not only poorly written, but factually incorrect.

How can it be an "adults only retreat hotel" with a "minimum age of 18" when they have (allegedly) taken a booking from a family with young children?

@Pink39tree Death ears? I think you mean Deaf ears! For the love of God!!!!! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Hi @Pink39tree

I see you have sent the email now. Hopefully the response is as you hope but if it isn't and they try and waffle that they will keep both, I would draft the email to essentially say due to their breach of contractual terms there are only two options to go forward.

1. Cancel the booking for the person's travelling with under 18s or 2. Cancel the group booking.

I would highlight again that the over 18 criteria was fundamental to your booking and the fact they can no longer honour that is a breach of contractual terms and as such you are entitled to a full refund. Any failure on their part to not check with the lead name on the group booking is not your responsibility.

If you want to soften it, state your group hopes to be able to retain their booking however this will be dependent on them being able to satisfy the terms of the initial booking, namely that only over 18s are permitted to stay.

I would still contact the SIL at the same time and state that it is totally inappropriate. I don't think it's entirely the hotel's fault as if her name has been on the booking before you've no idea what she has said to comfort them.

Say that you've not made b2b aware as you don't want to burden her but that her booking a family holiday to an adults only resort is inappropriate and selfish. B2b is entitled to a hen do without children hanging all over her, and that several attendees have also said they are unhappy since it was their opportunity for a child free time. Make her aware that the plans for the weekend are not child friendly and if she insists on staying there she is not invited on the group hen activities since she has not financial contributed.

😡😡😡😡 Cf of the highest order!!

OP said he wasn't going to the stag as it was in Amsterdam and they'd be partying hard..

He sounds like a barrel of laughs!

i cant belive she got the bride to give her a refund then used it to rebook-the dh also sounds odd unless he doesnt know its the hen do hes staying with

Meh, I’d be ok with my DH skipping an event like that. Trip to a place known for trafficked women, sex shows and loads of drugs? Why is that seen as the pinnacle of manliness?

@AliceOlive who said it was the pinnacle of manliness? I've not seen that post!

You wrote he sounds like a barrel of laughs for not going on the trip. What did you mean?

Reply so far from them that I got this morning….
Will update when I get the next email. The pleasant stay indicates to me that they don’t plan on cancelling us …????

That looks optimistic I guess! Hopefully the “site manager” will help…

@AliceOlive I mean a man that would rather attend a hen do, than the stage do, sounds like a right boring bastard.

Hence the "barrel of laughs" comment.

Can you now explain how you extrapolated this to mean he would be the pinnacle of manliness if he went to Amsterdam?

Sounds like they are going to sort it out!

Fingers crossed!

I took your comment to mean that not wanting to go to a stag party makes a man boring. I don't think my own comment was that difficult to decipher.

Your friend’s future husband’s brother is the one crashing the hen do? Is that right?

@AliceOlive keep your issues with men going to Amsterdam to yourself, don't presume that everyone thinks the same way as you?

You've got trust issues, not me.

I don't think it makes a man the pinnacle of manliness, I just think 🤷‍♀️!

Going to a hen do, with your wife and kids is however very questionable IMO.

yes, that's right

You'd like to think the groom might be able to have some influence on all this.

Yes, quite bizarre isn't it...

It’s not compulsory to do drugs/see sex workers in Amsterdam.

There are lots of museums and other touristy/cultural activities to do!

IF this is real, then just tell the SIL that most of you will be having sex everywhere and throwing up etc etc. Exaggerate where needed. She'll soon want to cancel!

Failing that just tell you've all cancelled it. Get everyone else to go along with it and make sure you sound gutted but you've "found somewhere else great/strictly adults only"

If the hotel won't cancel then i'd cancel your hotel booking and see if you can get a large house or apartments so you don't lose the money for the flights. You booked an adult only hotel not a child friendly one.

Also the bride's BIL seems like a control freak and the bride deserves this holiday. I wonder if it's him or SIL pushing to book the same place as I know it would be my partners nightmare being stuck in the middle of a bridal party.

This. I hope they come back to you with a favorable response

Of course. But do you think men who plan big manfests there are going to Rembrandt Haus?

Lol.