To write a 'Mumsnet Ballad?'

[Creditonian]

Threads of late have made me want to write a Mumsnet ballad:

I'm going to write a Mumsnet ballad
Of Chicken, Rice Crispies and a Massive Salad
God forbid we ever exceed a BMI of twenty
It's competitive undereating in a land of plenty

Feel free to add your own verses as you wish ..

A lick of apple and sniff of milk,
Is the Mumnsnetters' kids breakfasts and those of their ilk,
This is more than enough to last 'til Midday,
We must keep those BMIs low now, hey!

Sand to the tune of -

Brian and Michael - 'Matchstalk Men and Matchstalk Cats and Dogs' 🎶🎶🎶🎵

🎶🎶🎵

"High end delis and bijou caff,
We don't want anything at all that's naff,
And flag shaggers really are a big no-no,
Don't feel guilty 'bout your only child,
Test for SEN - it may be mild,
And Ring doorbells really are the way to go" 🎶🎶🎶🎵🎵

• cuts to chorus - (everyone join in!)

Sang not sand !!!!