Ageism towards women everywhere

[Tomandjerry80]

Just read an article about Liam Payne from One direction, somebody posted in the comments section that Cheryl Tweedy/Cole 'stole his innocence'.
He was around 24 when they started going out, hardly 16.
There was another comment about 'Old Nicole Sherzinger' sleeping with another member and what a 'cradle snatcher' she is.
Again she's probably around 10 years older or slightly more.
It seems socially unacceptable for women to date younger men, it's seen as some sort of cougar/milf situation, sexualised. If the ages were reversed most people wouldn't care.
I've heard of people like Carol Vorderman receiving so much abuse, just because she's over 60 and hasn't hung up her bra and got the comfy slippers out.
Words like granny, saggy, wrinkly are thrown around so much.
A friend of mine who's been married for 20 years told me whilst he loves his wife, he wishes she still looked like she did 20 years ago.
It just gets to me sometimes as a woman.

I’m a boomer and I don’t sneer at anyone. You’re going to find life a whole lot easier if you lose the generational warfare chip on your shoulder and view people as individuals not representatives of some imagined stereotype.

I'd say that an ageist person using ageist language against a specific age group doesn't then really get to complain about a different age group being subjected to ageist language.

Boomer is not ‘ageist language’ though.
You might be sensitive about it but it’s just a shortened version of baby boomer which is a sociological term to describe a generation. It’s no more ageist than the terms millennial, gen Z, gen Y etc.

That’s disingenuous @Albiboba. We all know it’s used as an insult in a way other sociological generational descriptors aren’t.

Come on, we all know the intent when people sign off 'OK Boomer'.

And don't get me started on 'OK, Boomer'

I have a 60 year-old friend and I don't think he's ever been out with a woman over 30. It's weird. He gets older and his girlfriends stay the same age.

The way other generational descriptors aren’t?? I can’t say I’ve ever seen ‘millennial’ + positive comment uses. Its almost always millennials are lazy, millennials waste their money on coffee, millennials don’t try hard enough the way older generations did, millennials are entitled blah blah blah

The reality is you are extra sensitive to the things you perceive to be aimed at you but the reality is things go both ways.

When they were making The Bridges Of Madison County the producers thought that Meryl Street was too old to be Clint Eastwood's love interest. She's almost 20 years older than him! Yet they can pair Sean Connery with Catherine Zeta-Jones when she was half his age.

Yes it is.

I'm not one incidentally. My mother was a baby boomer.

I am, however, a linguist. And it's on our list (sociolinguistics dept) of words where the original meaning (as you said, that of "baby boomer") has changed over time and is no longer considered in any way neutral. Incidentally, "millennial" (as a term) has yet to make that change, though it undoubtedly might. What is linguistically interesting is that the term "boomer" itself has come to encompass ALL members of the demographic. Nice ones, horrible ones, serial killers, anyone it's enough for you to have been born in that period to be abused Unlike "millennial", which, as previous examples show, need a modifier to have a negative meaning. (Gen X and Gen Z likewise)

The poster I quoted was using ageist language.

The reality is you are extra sensitive to the things you perceive to be aimed at you

We’re not. And it’s not a perception. The insults are constant.

but the reality is things go both ways

Yes, they do. How about we call a truce?

Yuck, he wouldn't be my friend!

Also what kind of woman in her 20s would be with a random 60 year old man!?

is his name Wayne Lineker?

@CryHavok
“Young women often work in industries where they get the blunt end of “Karen” behaviour.”

Having worked in customer services for many years (as a young woman) I can totally understand that one often is on the receiving end of rude/entitled behaviour from people. However the fact that you feel it necessary to mention “Karen” behaviour perfectly illustrates the negative bias towards older/middle aged women. From my experiences middle aged /older men were just as likely to “kick off” seeing you a just a girl. I’m not sure if you’re male or female but if you are female I’m sad but don’t really blame you personally ,this sort of misogynistic language is so prevalent in our daily lives we don’t even notice it. We are all victims of the patriarchy and if you’re lucky you’ll get old too. This shit is pushed out a media that is mostly still run by old white men.

I worked in service industries when I was younger. Bar and shop work. I was sexually assaulted (it was called having your bum slapped/pinched in those days) practically every time I ventured out to collect glasses. I have a scar from when someone threw a glass at the wall behind me and a piece hit my face. Someone complained about me to my boss for being a miserable bitch when I declined a date and didn't laugh at crude sexual remarks. That's just off the top of my head.
There wasn't a term back then for middle aged women who abused young women in service roles. But funnily enough, I never felt the need for one. The men who did it? We just called them the customers.

They outlined their rather rigid diet, fitness and beauty regimes which kept them looking young. The article was basically saying women can continue to be sexy forever. There's no need for them to ever look old or stop having sex. Don't get me wrong - I think this is brilliant if that's what the woman wants. I'm sure there are plenty of older women who are still ravishing, youthful and enjoying sex. Good for them! But part of me felt "oh great so women aren't allowed to get old now!". There's so much pressure on women and girls to be pretty, slim, kind, sexy, attractive to men etc. Does this really have to last their entire lives? I can't imagine that at 70 my priority will be looking sexy. I think maybe I might want to get old and fat and live in a cottage with a couple of cats.

This. I don't want be on a rigid diet in my 70s and I really don't want to be pressured to be sexy. Let me get old and fat and happy in peace.

I think I may have to get divorced to achieve this vision of old and fat and happy. DH won't be happy if I confess this wish to him.

Our Head of Psychology is a Gen Z and the Head of Biology is a late millennial (annoyed that she is not Gen Z but missed out by 5 years). They are very nice to Gen Xers like me and we have a good giggle (mid-50s+ as they see us as old guard due to retire soon). The problem, within my school, is between those in their 20s (typically childless) and those in their 40s (typically with family responsibilities), especially when chasing the same promotion opportunities.

Those in their 50s know they will not be promoted and struggle to find jobs elsewhere - experienced and expensive.

women are wrinkly men are defined.

Jeremy Hunt's latest wheeze...let's get all the over-50s back to work makes me laugh. Who's going to employ them?
I remember someone I know being told that she was too old for a job in The City at 37!

I thought it was quite clever / funny! Can someone put a link on here to it?

The whole "Karen" thing is more about really uneducated / ill-informed people feeling entitled to air their unsophisticated opinions at every opportunity - people whose world view is only informed by the Daily Mail and its ilk, and who begin every sentence with "they say" or "in the real world".

so right @beguilingeyes

The problem is the mismatch between vacancies and skills and age. How many 50 and 60 years olds can work in warehouses? Lots of jobs are available in hospitality but they are not great pay and physically draining.

Schools do not have the budget to pay for older experienced teachers. There is a tendency to shuffle a fair few 'off' with 'improvement support plans'. They go from outstanding one term to RI within two terms. Thank god I deliver a shortage subject and can exude a 'f* you I'm off at a drop of a hat' vibe the moment a member of SLT looks at me the wrong way.

NHS - again that can be physically exhausting.

City - they are not offering jobs to 50 year olds.

My advice to those in their 20s/30s make your money now, develop a unique skills/knowledge base that will enable you to make money in your 40s/50s.

From my friendship group, those who struggled or are struggling are those who were/are in marketing/PR/sales or managerial positions that didn't require a specific knowledge base and were simply office coordinators. Those who are doing best run their own business, are science/tech whizzes or in civil service.

Mine loves it. As long as I’m happy he’s happy. Of course it helps that we’re both old and fat!

I have decided I'm going to be 'gen B', I'm fed up of being referred to as a 'boomer' - you can hear the sneer as it's typed/spoken/spat. Gen B has so much to be proud of, from fighting mysogyny, inequality and sexual harassment, to providing family and social support and so much more. And we are 'ageless' in that we know age is just a number other people hang their prejudices on.

She probably feels the same about him