Page 3 | Ageism towards women everywhere

Tomandjerry80 · 2023-03-27T10:45:22+00:00

Just read an article about Liam Payne from One direction, somebody posted in the comments section that Cheryl Tweedy/Cole 'stole his innocence'. He was around 24 when they started going out, hardly 16. There was another comment about 'Old Nicole Sherzinger' sleeping with another member and what a 'cradle snatcher' she is. Again she's probably around 10 years older or slightly more. It seems socially unacceptable for women to date younger men, it's seen as some sort of cougar/milf situation, sexualised. If the ages were reversed most people wouldn't care. I've heard of people like Carol Vorderman receiving so much abuse, just because she's over 60 and hasn't hung up her bra and got the comfy slippers out. Words like granny, saggy, wrinkly are thrown around so much. A friend of mine who's been married for 20 years told me whilst he loves his wife, he wishes she still looked like she did 20 years ago. It just gets to me sometimes as a woman.

Trinity65 · 27/03/2023 14:56

667TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 27/03/2023 14:48

@CarryMeOut i agree completely ageing is a privilege. It is demonised in women much more than men. Post menopausal women are seen as dried up bitter hags. I wouldn’t want to be young again and live in the present, I think it’s much harder for young women now so many pressures from social media that I didn’t have being young in 80s and 90s as for being jealous I’m not at all, yeah I wish I had my health like I did when I was younger but I there are lots of benefits to being in your 50s like giving less of a fuck! I’ve signed up for the Hags zoom talk and I’ve ordered the book, this resonated so much with me that I very unusually didn’t wait for the paper back copy ! I’m sure though that it’s going to make me really angry. My daughter who is at Uni had already said to me she thought ageing in women was demonised. I’m glad she can see that at such a young age. I think it’s worse for women as we are judged so much more on how we look than men are. Men are still judged on what they have achieved or done but it always comes down to how good or not a woman looks. Think it’s got worse too over the years. Just look at all the middle aged actresses and presenters who just disappear from
the screen after 40, not the same for actors like Harrison Ford, Brad Pitt etc who are still cast as leading men. If you mention this of course everyone says what about Helen Mirren ?! Ffs she’s an exception and doesn’t really look her age.

Bravo 👏👏

I think I will sign up as well and it will be the first time doing so.

lljkk · 27/03/2023 15:04

This place disses a lot on Leo DiCaprio penchant for being with younger women. I'm sure I've read a lot of other complaints here & everywhere about guys with much younger female partners.

JaneFondue · 27/03/2023 15:05

I am from an Eastern culture. I am not saying everything about my culture is good- otherwise why would I be living in the UK-but I do think there is less pressure on women to stay hot and young. Women are allowed to age without sticking their faces full of plastic.

My mum is 77. No Botox or fillers or anything much beyond Nivea and staying reasonably fit by walking. She looks her age, but she looks good! And is very happy. I plan to follow her example.

mondaytosunday · 27/03/2023 15:07

It's funny - what were many 60+ people doing in their youth? Being punks! I think teens today think we were wearing bonnets and saved ourselves til we were married!

Mabelface · 27/03/2023 15:10

It's everywhere, blatant and insidious.

Am I too old to wear....
Am I too old for...

You have a wrinkle! You must therefore inject yourself with toxins/ use this cream/ do this, do that. You must do your upmost to not look old. You must be youthful at all costs!

Wrinkles, flabby bits, older bodies are far better than the alternative to ageing.

YouOKHun · 27/03/2023 15:13

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who is a pretty well known actress and the same age as me (55). She was in a meeting with a casting agent recently and asked them a theoretical question about who they would cast to play her in a film. The casting agent after some consideration listed four or five well known actresses who would be suitable to play a 55 year old woman. Every one of those actresses was under 40. There are plenty of actresses in their mid fifties so why no mention? It says something about how women are represented on TV and in films doesn’t it?

JaneFondue · 27/03/2023 15:19

No wonder that actresses like Reese Witherspoon are going into television and now production rather than trying to look younger and younger.

Celebs have to do all kinds of things to get jobs, but I don't see why normal everyday women need to look like celebs. I remember the fuss when Mary Beard appeared on TV looking her age with natural face, grey hair... That's how a 60 something woman is supposed to look, not like Madonna.

Quveas · 27/03/2023 15:39

To be honest, whilst there is loads of ageism out there, MN is probably one of the most toxic double-standards with regard to older women.

"My mother / MIL is a bitch because she won't look after my kids"
"My mother / MIL is a bitch because she wants to look after the kids"
"My mother / MIL is a bitch because she won't look after the kids the way I insist she does" etc., etc

"My mother/MIL is a bitch because she won't leave me her money / her house/ whatever riches she has"
"My mother / MIL is a bitch because she is old and expects me to help her"
"My mother/ MIL is a bitch because she's going into care so I won't get her house" etc., etc

Ad infinitum... throwing in a moderate amount of "older people had things easy growing up in poverty and without the things that we now take for granted are our entitlement, so they should be grateful we were born and ensure that we have everything we want without making any effort ourselves".

Not everyone, but a sizeable number of threads / posts are like this. I suspect because people can be their true selves when posting anonymously, without any consequences.

BlueHeelers · 27/03/2023 15:54

mondaytosunday · 27/03/2023 15:07

It's funny - what were many 60+ people doing in their youth? Being punks! I think teens today think we were wearing bonnets and saved ourselves til we were married!

Indeed.

As I get older I’m so pleased I based my life on what I could do, not what I look like. I run quite a lot of things now and keep getting better, and I’m in mid 60s. I’m far more successful than most men I know and I’ve still to reach my peak.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 27/03/2023 16:00

ChristmasCakeAndGin · 27/03/2023 12:38

Sadly a lot on this forum. Frequently see posts by I assume younger women calling older women wrinkly dried up old hag bag etc.
Massive double standards also from many who would not make a negative comment about someone’s race, sexuality etc but are more than happy to call someone a “Karen”

This 100%. The so called "woke/inclusive" generation are actually anything but.

JaneFondue · 27/03/2023 16:04

As I get older I’m so pleased I based my life on what I could do, not what I look like.

Totally agree. I have achieved all my success after age 40.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/03/2023 16:13

It’s unpleasant yes.

I find embracing your age and experience is a good way to combat it. Owning it rather than desperately scrabbling to pretend to be younger which is demeaning not just for you but for all women.

I fucking hate when women knock years off their CVS or dating profiles. If you make people feel like you’re ashamed how are the rest of us supposed to stand proud?

KimberleyClark · 27/03/2023 16:17

I saw a video on Facebook of a young woman transforming herself with makeup into a “Karen” and it was really disgustingly ageist. I commented that it was.

JudgeRudy · 27/03/2023 16:18

asundayphilosopher · 27/03/2023 11:50

sadly, MN is very ageist. So many posts complaining about Mums and Mils . I'm still reeling from the thread calling a 102 year old Grandma a cunt because she made a comment about her granddaughters weight. Many MNers dont believe they will ever get old.

How is calling someone a cunt ageist.what should she have called her if she was 60

Thedogscollar · 27/03/2023 16:23

CatchYouOnTheFlippetyFlop · 27/03/2023 12:47

The ageism on this forum is absolutely disgusting. Some people on these boards seem to think that anyone over 70 is an ungrateful brexit voting tory with £££££s in the bank, who should count themselves bloody lucky they could afford a house.

It is absolutely rife.

I hate the posts on here by women over 40 'I'm so invisible', 'men look straight through me', 'nobody fancies me', it's bloody pathetic.

The life experience us women have should be valued, but for some reason, it is sneered at.

I'm over 40, couldn't give a shiny shit what other men think of me, I don't feel invisible, I feel fucking fabulous and confident in my skin.

👏👏👏thank you. Exactly how I feel. I'm now 60 comfortable with who I am and what I have achieved so far on my life.

Blossomtoes · 27/03/2023 16:35

I’ve found my tribe. It’s time we stopped worshipping at the altar of youth.

MegsLevante · 27/03/2023 16:43

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 27/03/2023 16:00

This 100%. The so called "woke/inclusive" generation are actually anything but.

Show quote history

Some friends and I were discussing this the other day. We came to the conclusion that the “woke/inclusive” generation are only inclusive towards people like themselves.

667TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 27/03/2023 17:03

Quveas · 27/03/2023 15:39

To be honest, whilst there is loads of ageism out there, MN is probably one of the most toxic double-standards with regard to older women.

"My mother / MIL is a bitch because she won't look after my kids"
"My mother / MIL is a bitch because she wants to look after the kids"
"My mother / MIL is a bitch because she won't look after the kids the way I insist she does" etc., etc

"My mother/MIL is a bitch because she won't leave me her money / her house/ whatever riches she has"
"My mother / MIL is a bitch because she is old and expects me to help her"
"My mother/ MIL is a bitch because she's going into care so I won't get her house" etc., etc

Ad infinitum... throwing in a moderate amount of "older people had things easy growing up in poverty and without the things that we now take for granted are our entitlement, so they should be grateful we were born and ensure that we have everything we want without making any effort ourselves".

Not everyone, but a sizeable number of threads / posts are like this. I suspect because people can be their true selves when posting anonymously, without any consequences.

I’m not on here that much tbh, I have phases of it. But I can imagine. The one MIL I had when I was with my ex was lovely. In fact if I had paid more attention to how my ex treated her it would have given me a sign of things to come. Never trust a man who isn’t nice to his mum! The evil MIL trope is apparently covered in the book Hags.
I think though it’s worth mentioning that so many younger women who are hostile/unpleasant about older women, are also victims of the patriarchy themselves. This shit of MIL jokes, nosy old biddies/jealous old bitches etc is pushed out all the time. People are hardly aware of it

Ponoka7 · 27/03/2023 17:09

JudgeRudy · 27/03/2023 16:18

How is calling someone a cunt ageist.what should she have called her if she was 60

Show quote history

Read asundayphilosopher post. The way young children are naturally unfiltered, so can old people be because of their brains. Many younger posters on here seem to think that aging doesn't have an effect on the person, the way we used to think of children as mini adults, when there's differences both ends in our brains and bodies.

Re getting a job 55+. I'm sick of it being said that we won't work, when very few suitable candidates in that age group will be given a job.

667TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 27/03/2023 17:10

JaneFondue · 27/03/2023 15:19

No wonder that actresses like Reese Witherspoon are going into television and now production rather than trying to look younger and younger.

Celebs have to do all kinds of things to get jobs, but I don't see why normal everyday women need to look like celebs. I remember the fuss when Mary Beard appeared on TV looking her age with natural face, grey hair... That's how a 60 something woman is supposed to look, not like Madonna.

Omg that has made me feel old now, Reese Witherspoon is too old ?! lol
I remember the Mary Beard fiasco, people (usually men) saying she was too old and ugly for television. Not a word about David Starkey etc. Absolutely disgusting considering the woman is an intellectual giant.

SecondhandMuck · 27/03/2023 17:11

Wasn't it mainly AA Gill who was so grievously offended by Mary Beard's appearance?

667TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 27/03/2023 17:14

SecondhandMuck · 27/03/2023 17:11

Wasn't it mainly AA Gill who was so grievously offended by Mary Beard's appearance?

Yes he was the one who said her teeth looked like the Egyptian mummy’s she was looking at. There were others and I believe she received tweets /hate mail etc. I know I’m better than this but…AA Gill isn’t an oil painting himself !

SecondhandMuck · 27/03/2023 17:16

667TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 27/03/2023 17:14

Yes he was the one who said her teeth looked like the Egyptian mummy’s she was looking at. There were others and I believe she received tweets /hate mail etc. I know I’m better than this but…AA Gill isn’t an oil painting himself !

Show quote history

Indeed, but that never stops them! He had the kind of teeth Americans refer to as 'English teeth'.

Blossomtoes · 27/03/2023 17:19

AA Gill isn’t an oil painting himself

Especially now he’s dead.

Dogsitterwoes · 27/03/2023 17:21

Career wise it's hard. I had to find a new job at 47 after 11 years at my firm, a few interviews but no luck, and I'm positive ageism played a part (marketing).

I started again in an entry role in HR and don't think it's such a factor, actually a bonus to have a bit of maturity. Changed firms 3 more times for progression. Got this job at age 55 and hoping to stay put now till I retire. But I do miss my old career sometimes.