Ageism towards women everywhere

[Tomandjerry80]

Just read an article about Liam Payne from One direction, somebody posted in the comments section that Cheryl Tweedy/Cole 'stole his innocence'.
He was around 24 when they started going out, hardly 16.
There was another comment about 'Old Nicole Sherzinger' sleeping with another member and what a 'cradle snatcher' she is.
Again she's probably around 10 years older or slightly more.
It seems socially unacceptable for women to date younger men, it's seen as some sort of cougar/milf situation, sexualised. If the ages were reversed most people wouldn't care.
I've heard of people like Carol Vorderman receiving so much abuse, just because she's over 60 and hasn't hung up her bra and got the comfy slippers out.
Words like granny, saggy, wrinkly are thrown around so much.
A friend of mine who's been married for 20 years told me whilst he loves his wife, he wishes she still looked like she did 20 years ago.
It just gets to me sometimes as a woman.

No idea what your first 1 sentence means.
Are you saying elderly people cannot control their behaviour and have no filter? Maybe some can't but I definitely feel there's an element of choice for most.

I think interviews are a lot more regulated and fair than they once were. I've just been offered a job with very little experience. I've also had 3 temporary jobs in last few years at an unskilled level including labouring on site. I'm not saying discrimination doesn't happen but general it comes down to how you present at the interview. Many interviewers/DM won't even know your age till you turn up. They can maybe make a guess at your gender from name/appearance.
The jobcentres have lots of advice around retraining for over 50s.

I'm 53, my bf is 38 (& extremely cute, educated & self sufficient). There's nothing more bitchy than jealous younger women. Might be cultural though, because when we're visiting his family (Italy), no one bats an eyelid. Maturity seems to equal sexy over there. Used to miff me when young UK women made a play for him & assumed they had an advantage over me. But 3 years into the relationship, I realise it's the exact opposite - he sees their youth as an unattractive disadvantage. It's nice to feel appreciated in this way.

😂😂 yeah I realised he was dead but couldn’t amend my mistake

What? That's not ageism? 😂 people would have said the same thing if she were 32, 52 or 102, as making comments about people's weight can be very damaging and hurtful. What you REALLY mean is she should be let off because of her age. Which is ironic, really.

@JudgeRudy I disagree about interviews being more regulated, they are not going to say the haven’t employed that person because the of their age of course. I don’t have any experience as an older woman of applying for jobs but ageism definitely exists with work for both sexes I’ve seen this with my husband mid fifties applying for jobs. At the end of the day a lot of employers are just going to look at how many years they will get out of you. Obviously there are exceptions but it’s part of the wider problem where age and experience are not valued as much as youth. It may also be because generally speaking older people are more likely to speak up for themselves, but that’s just me being cynical.

When you say ageism towards women everywhere - that’s exactly it. Even women are ageist to other women. Especially older women towards younger women in my experience. They judge other women just as harshly as men do, in fact they tend to join in as a “pick me” trope

Might be cultural though, because when we're visiting his family (Italy), no one bats an eyelid.

Agree. I don’t see this in my culture either nor grew up with such things. No one bats an eye at wrinkles or sizes. They wear what they want.

I wonder if ageism based on a woman’s looks is more prevalent in the “angloshpere” countries that are heavily influenced by Hollywood?

Absolutely true. On Twitter it seems to give the wokies an extra special thrill if they realise a woman is middle-aged or older as they can throw even more choice abuse at her.

Look at the thread about celebrities we used to have crushes on, men who go for younger women are vilified. Everyone I know judges them negatively.
But yes ageism is rife and I don't get it, I am a much better person than when I was younger!
I don't get the invisible thing though. Older women are chatted to and more a part of the community than teenagers and young women, in my experience. I 'see' women older than me, I don't notice the young ones.

I am on Twitter under my real name and with my real unbotoxed face. I need to be for my job.

But I am very careful to stick to professional tweets because anything personal invites nasty comments from young of both genders. It's as if they have a picture of Dorian Grey in their attics.

@Tomandjerry80 my partner is 20 years younger and I have never had any negative comments, nor has he.
Agree that ageism is rife against women generally though.

@MegsLevante i think you might have a point, a PP mentioned about coming from an eastern culture and it not being an issue. Many years ago I saw an interview with actress Stephanie Beauchamp who said French film industry didn’t regard women over 40 as past it. I think Kristin Scott Thomas has said similar.

Im finding that Britain is getting more ageist and sexist, not less. It seems that there is more emphasis than ever placed on women’s looks, and the current look in favour is this plastic Barbie doll / porn star. I have seen a few statements from older female TV personalities saying they wouldn’t get in now because of the emphasis on looks, and the pressure on women to vanish once they get beyond the age of 35 is everywhere. It’s peculiar in my work sector, when I was in my 20s and 30s I was expected to make way for 40 and 50 yr olds- now it seems I’m expected to make way for 20 yr olds.

@IWineAndDontDine
By 102 everyone will have some degree of vascular dementia. Just read the sad stories on here about posters who have parents with dementia and feel they know longer know their parents because the disease has taken away the person the person they once were. I wonder how you would feel if someone you loved was in a care home and someone called her a cunt because she said something inappropriate.
My original point was that dementia is mainly a disease affecting women. You think younger women would show solidarity and kindness to someone with a disease that they have a good chance of encountering. But no, some posters clearly believe that they will never get old.
Ditto the posters on here who think its a right laugh to trick hated MILS into thinking that they are getting forgetful and have signs of dementia. Can you imagine the outrage on here if some people tried to fool a young woman into thinking she had a terminal disease?

I live happily in France as a post-menopausal woman in my fifties. I have the most amazing role models - friends and public figures - and healthcare providers that positively expect you to continue being a sexual being. I certainly don't feel ignored or overlooked, whereas in the UK I felt like I was (supposed to be) on the scrapheap at 50.

I think the “barbie doll” look is more prevalent in the “Anglo-sphere” countries too. From what I’ve seen of the U.K., Ireland and Australia anyway.

The thing you mentioned wasn't ageism in any way. You have absolutely no idea whether there was something that caused her to mentioned her GDs weight. You just want to excuse it because of her age. Calling her a cunt isn't ageism at all.

@OooWhatAWhopper he sees their youth as an unattractive disadvantage. It's nice to feel appreciated in this way.

So you’re actually totally fine with ageism as long as it’s the other way around?

@asundayphilosopher i agree calling a 102 year old of whatever sex , a cunt is harsh, most people will have some form of dementia by then and it’s like hashtag no filters. Or just not understanding what’s socially acceptable now. I’m not saying they should be able to say what they want without reprisal but ffs they are from another time almost another world. My grandmother thought it was ok to comment on peoples weight, race etc and this was when she was in her 70s and still ok. She was born in 1911.

The amount of mother-in-law bashing on here does seem to be extreme. Do the posters not realise they’re likely to be MILs themselves in the future?; I suppose they will be perfect, though …

Definitely a lot of ageism - I noticed that all the women over 45 I knew who were made redundant during COVID had a much harder time finding new jobs than men of the same age.

I have noticed that a lot of Netflix series/films that are European in origin (rather than UK or American) have older women over 40 cast in roles where they are acting out a passionate liaison. Whereas in Hollywood etc. she’d be playing the grandma or the mother and the 20 year old would be cast as the one having a passionate liaison.

Ageism is perhaps the most masochistic form of discrimination. Of you're lucky, you'll age. Anyone that's lost anyone they love will tell you they'd rather them be here old than never see them again.

Yes I definitely think there’s a cultural element to it in the UK.