Ageism towards women everywhere

[Tomandjerry80]

Just read an article about Liam Payne from One direction, somebody posted in the comments section that Cheryl Tweedy/Cole 'stole his innocence'.
He was around 24 when they started going out, hardly 16.
There was another comment about 'Old Nicole Sherzinger' sleeping with another member and what a 'cradle snatcher' she is.
Again she's probably around 10 years older or slightly more.
It seems socially unacceptable for women to date younger men, it's seen as some sort of cougar/milf situation, sexualised. If the ages were reversed most people wouldn't care.
I've heard of people like Carol Vorderman receiving so much abuse, just because she's over 60 and hasn't hung up her bra and got the comfy slippers out.
Words like granny, saggy, wrinkly are thrown around so much.
A friend of mine who's been married for 20 years told me whilst he loves his wife, he wishes she still looked like she did 20 years ago.
It just gets to me sometimes as a woman.

Not sure. I grew up in the States but as a mixed race women of a darker hue, it’s not something that was an influence.

Like Sylvie from Emily in Paris. She's about 60 but she's still a very sexy and sensual woman. In the UK she'd be portrayed as a comedy nympho a la Dorian from Birds of a Feather.

Sylvie in Emily in Paris is very attractive and does not look plastic. I was also very glad that recently DH turned on the TV, saw the lovely Juliette Binoche in The Staircase, and immediately said "Wow she looks better than she did when young". She does look great with silver hair, and again, doesn't seem to have had much work done.

His immediate observation was on her appearance, still. He then judged her against how she used to look and find fault. Does he do the same to male actors?

Why such a big deal about being made to retire at a perfectly reasonable young age then 🙄

I think it's great that older women can still be seen as alluring and sexy in France and other countries. That's a very positive thing in many ways. Women don't want to written off as old hags postmenopause. However, I wonder if in some ways it might add more pressure to women - to continue being desirable and sexually attractive indefinitely. Not being allowed to let yourself go or grow old disgracefully.
About a year ago I read an article in a newspaper all about women being sexy at 70. It showed all these women of 70, looking amazing and gorgeous, talking about their active sex lives. They outlined their rather rigid diet, fitness and beauty regimes which kept them looking young. The article was basically saying women can continue to be sexy forever. There's no need for them to ever look old or stop having sex. Don't get me wrong - I think this is brilliant if that's what the woman wants. I'm sure there are plenty of older women who are still ravishing, youthful and enjoying sex. Good for them! But part of me felt "oh great so women aren't allowed to get old now!". There's so much pressure on women and girls to be pretty, slim, kind, sexy, attractive to men etc. Does this really have to last their entire lives? I can't imagine that at 70 my priority will be looking sexy. I think maybe I might want to get old and fat and live in a cottage with a couple of cats. Will I really want to waste yet more years of my life trying to look desirable? Enough! Give women a break and let them be old women if they want to be.

I can't imagine that at 70 my priority will be looking sexy. I think maybe I might want to get old and fat and live in a cottage with a couple of cats.

I am heading towards 70 and have no wish to be regarded as sexy!

No cottage or cats though!

Yes I agree, it wasn’t that many years ago that looking “frumpy” and like an old lady in your 60s was allowed and sort of expected. I haven’t of course read the article but it also sends out the message that you have to look young and what is considered “desirable” to have an active sex life. Good health obviously helps but there is an underlying message that sex is only for the young /young looking and beautiful, which is of course bollocks, you rarely see older people on TV /film etc having a sexual relationship. I think a lot depends on your partner’s attitude as well. I worried far more about losing my looks /figure in my 30s as my ex was always critical, than I do now in my 50s with my husband. I get that self confidence comes from within but it’s difficult when you’re with someone who is putting you down or trying to “keep you on your toes”. So many men are very superficial about how their wives/Girlfriends look while not applying the same rules to themselves !

Jesus! I hope you dropped the friend. She can't complain when she's over 50 and her husband starts shagging younger women then! What a bitch!

Yes this! One thing I love about being over 40 is being invisible! The constant comments from men when I was younger was so fucking annoying! I'm over weight, I've stopped wearing makeup and wear clothes for comfort rather than style, although I do like to be fashionable. I couldn't give a shiny shit what people think of me, especially men!

@667TheNeighbourOfTheBeast

"So many men are very superficial about how their wives/Girlfriends look while not applying the same rules to themselves !"

This is so bloody sad but true !!!!!!

I don't let ageist comments bother me. I see them for what they are, fear, pure and simple. We all know in this life that we're only headed one way. Othering people further down the road from us makes us feel we're further from the destination.

The whole Karen thing stems from hatred of middle-aged women. That they should dare to disagree, voice an opinion, argue - even just speak at all. And it’s not just from men, it’s from young women too.

Young women often work in industries where they get the blunt end of “Karen” behaviour.

Yup but it’s so empowering not to give a single fuck. If only younger women would get on board with it and learn from the example they’re being set. They could buy themselves an extra 20 years of saying exactly what they think.

Yeah but if you’re a young lass that works in a call centre or a shop you get the full brunt of “empowered” people “saying exactly what they think”

Say it back. Seize some power.

And at 72 you wonder where 50 years went!

This! And I still go to festivals etc!
I remember at work, age 55, saying "When I ran a nightclub..."
The younger staff were amazed . I pointed out that I was in my twenties once, too! 🤣

I’m sure they don’t want to lose their job over some entitled boomer on a power kick

Sounds like that was because of her nasty comments, not her age.

I became (thankfully) invisible to men as I passed about 28. A lot of them are just like that - only want the young, smooth skinned, toned young ones (vomit - as in, I can't imagine ever wanting a young man like that). I also hate in when young women call older women "Boomers". It's just so sneering.

Do you need to put those dates on your CV? How about just number of O-levels and grade range e.g. “9 GCSE equivalents at grades A*-B (including maths and English)” (or even leave them out as possibly irrelevant now you have so much experience).

Boomers sneer at younger people more in my experience. If you can dish it out you can take it.

@NalafromtheLionKing
I can't believe you would support calling a very very old woman a cunt.
Most very very old women are likely to have some form of vascular dementia. There filters have gone. Would you also support calling a toddle a cunt if they made an inappropriate remark?
Remember women are twice as likely to develop dementia as men. We should be campaigning for more research than casually labelling someone with dementia as a cunt.
I will post what I posted before

By 102 everyone will have some degree of vascular dementia. Just read the sad stories on here about posters who have parents with dementia and feel they know longer know their parents because the disease has taken away the person the person they once were. I wonder how you would feel if someone you loved was in a care home and someone called her a cunt because she said something inappropriate.
My original point was that dementia is mainly a disease affecting women. You think younger women would show solidarity and kindness to someone with a disease that they have a good chance of encountering. But no, some posters clearly believe that they will never get old.
The original comment was a reference to the 102 year old woman not understanding why her granddaughter who had just given birth wasn't fat anymore.
I am so upset by posters who think it is ok to throw abusive terms like 'cunt' around. I do hope the people who think it is ok don't also abuse their little daughters in this way.