If your DC failed their GCSEs what are they doing now?

[Amber53]

Posting here for traffic.

I’ve been scouring past MN threads about this subject and often wonder what the future held for the DC who didn’t do well.

Reason being, DS who has struggled with MH, suicidal ideation, diagnosed ADHD and in the ASD pathway, bullied, will most likely leave school without any GCSEs. He’s had an horrendous time throughout really.

My main objective is to work with him and help with his MH. Bottom line is, when he’s away from the school environment he’s a different person, so he’s currently doing online lessons. When in school his MH declines, so we’re thankful he only has weeks left.

I can’t help but worry about the future though without GCSEs. I keep this hidden from him of course, but as a parent it’s only natural to worry about these things.

Can I ask anyone who has been through similar how your DC are doing now? How did they navigate the next step?

As DC now have to continue their education, I just don’t know what we should be encouraging next. DS doesn’t really know what he wants to do. He said he’d just like to work, earn money. I think the reality might be easier said than done, although I understand this viewpoint as he’s had such a negative experience so far. Why would he want to go onto somewhere he thinks will be just the same I.e college, 6th form etc.

We are currently trying to apply for an EHCP, although it’s going to be a long battle judging by the many things I’ve read. Too late to help with the current secondary school situation but might help for the future?

If anyone could share their experiences or offer any help it would be much appreciated.

This is so true. Getting decent GCSEs makes things easier but it’s really not the end of the road if you don’t.

undiagnosed adhd meant a tough time at school for me. Left school with 2 GCSEs. Worked in care, got level 3 qualifications x2 did functional skills and was later offered a degree apprenticeship in my 30s. Now a healthcare professional.

There are so many opportunities out there for people who struggled with conventional education due to one thing or another. lots of people who struggled in their teens to stick at it do very well as adults. Never give up.

I’m saving to read tomorrow as in a similar position x

My DS ASD got bottom grades in everything ended up out of school and then in a special need college. He did a supported internship to get him into work and did a few placements at a supermarket and pub. He now works about 16hrs a week and has passed his driving test and has a car so that will open up some more opportunities. I am not sure what his potential is but he is doing so well and is managing his anxiety the best he ever has.

I really wouldn't shy away from important conversations, the I'd never tell him statements concern me.
Why wouldn't you tell him you worry he would get bored of electrics? It's not a value judgement It's about understanding how he works and what would work for him. Be open I say, truthful but not judgemental.

Mines in 2nd year of college doing GCSEs alongside his level 3 course.

They all get there in the end and the colleges will accept them

I know this is an old thread but it’s striking how many people are saying their child has ADHD/ASD. I’m wondering if this is widespread and if our education system is not giving those young people the support then need.

What a lovely helpful thread. As a teacher I have seen many students who are wonderful young people but they struggle with the system to be successful and it is great to hear about them succeeding by other routes. School is very much a one size fits all and being academic is not the be all and end all. I admire the training and expertise of my plumber and contractor as much as my dentist frankly. It's awful that the students who struggle often feel like failures until they can find a setting where they can succeed. Everyone being encouraged to go to college is a big mistake I think.

I agree what a lovely post.

I’m so pleased that this post is still running and helping others.

DS was totally let down by the school system.

DS ended up sitting just three GCSES. Maths, English Language and Science.

Despite having hardly any education (except online learning - self lead) he managed to pass his maths with a grade 4. Unfortunately he failed both science and English, science he would have passed last year but the grade boundaries shot up this year. He will resit his English.

He’s now attending college and is absolutely LOVING it! The course he’s taking has likeminded individuals and the course leaders treat them like adults. Totally different environment than the regimented school system. DS loves it so much that he wishes he was there five days a week rather than the three he’s currently there for. What a complete turnaround!

He’s made new friends, he’s been on days out with them and is loving college life currently.

As ever, I’m absolutely over the moon but still waiting for the ‘dip’. Not in a negative way but with the huge highs often follows a low, although I’m hoping that it won’t be a low, rather a settled existence, if that makes sense. DS’s ADHD means that the rush of the ‘new’ meeting new people etc, makes him thrive, it’s like he can reinvent himself and not be the ‘weirdo’ that some past lovely students painted him as.

Time will tell but currently we’re remaining optimistic for his future, although I won’t lie, I’ve been sad at his missed education and what he could have achieved with his GCSES, his potential wasn’t reached during school, hopefully College will help him to succeed where school couldn’t.

Thanks to each and every one of you for your supportive posts, and for those seeking support, I really hope this thread goes a little way in helping, to know that at least you’re not alone. 💐

Fab update.

What a lovely update! Really glad he’s doing so well now.

My brother did terribly at gcse because if bullying, asd and awful dyslexia. Something switched in him at 18 and he blagged his way into a technical theatre degree in the strength of his design tech work and experience working behind the scenes at school plays.

He now travels internationally as a professional lighting tech working for big names in the music industry, can rewire any plug in the world and out earns the rest of the extended family in our professional middle class jobs.

I'm glad I found this thread, both my DDs have ASD (the eldest has an EHCP), the youngest has ADHD too, they are still young but I worry about their futures.

Thanks for sharing your stories

I know this is an older thread with a nice update but to add a positive story...

I didn't sit my GCSEs at all, didn't get a single one, due to a number of things including MH.

I went back to college later, did an access course, went to uni - hated it! Got a job - who then paid for me to go back to uni, which I finished with a 1st.

At 16 or even 18 I was a mess. By 30 I was happily married, with 2 children and doing well in my career. My GCSEs absolutely did not define me.

Similarly my DD, did well at GCSE but found college really hard and didn't do well at all. She ended up taking a year out then doing a foundation year at uni and went on to get a 1st and a job she loves and is brilliant at.