If your DC failed their GCSEs what are they doing now?

[Amber53]

Posting here for traffic.

I’ve been scouring past MN threads about this subject and often wonder what the future held for the DC who didn’t do well.

Reason being, DS who has struggled with MH, suicidal ideation, diagnosed ADHD and in the ASD pathway, bullied, will most likely leave school without any GCSEs. He’s had an horrendous time throughout really.

My main objective is to work with him and help with his MH. Bottom line is, when he’s away from the school environment he’s a different person, so he’s currently doing online lessons. When in school his MH declines, so we’re thankful he only has weeks left.

I can’t help but worry about the future though without GCSEs. I keep this hidden from him of course, but as a parent it’s only natural to worry about these things.

Can I ask anyone who has been through similar how your DC are doing now? How did they navigate the next step?

As DC now have to continue their education, I just don’t know what we should be encouraging next. DS doesn’t really know what he wants to do. He said he’d just like to work, earn money. I think the reality might be easier said than done, although I understand this viewpoint as he’s had such a negative experience so far. Why would he want to go onto somewhere he thinks will be just the same I.e college, 6th form etc.

We are currently trying to apply for an EHCP, although it’s going to be a long battle judging by the many things I’ve read. Too late to help with the current secondary school situation but might help for the future?

If anyone could share their experiences or offer any help it would be much appreciated.

You sound like such a lovely supportive mum. There are so many options for people who did not get their GCSEs the first time round. I would look at colleges that have a supportive environment. Some people really struggle with GCSEs but do quite well in equivalent qualifications. If it is exams that he struggles with look at non exam roles.

What is good at or interested in?

@Hoolihan I don’t think I’ve slept properly for months due to worrying about DS’s future.

I’ve grieved for the life I’ve felt he should have had, the carefree teenage years etc. The struggles he’s had have been so worrying, the stress has been immense.

I hope this thread helps you too 💐

DS has 3 GCSEs at 2/3. School refusal, lockdown, ASD, anxiety, usual story.

EHCP team lined him up on a level 1 animal care course at a small supportive college. He passed that but really doesn't want more study, is being supported by local authority careers/NEET team in volunteering hopefully leading to gardening related work. Will hopefully do functional skills Maths and English at some point, he'll ace them when he's ready. Tiny steps.

These stories of young adults who have found their path are so encouraging. My dd (20) was recently diagnosed with ADHD, has social anxiety, was diagnosed with dyslexia aged 8 and I am pretty sure she has ASD. She struggles with her mental health and has limited capacity to deal with life. She did well in her GCSE's (because we got tutoring and I was heavily involved), well (but not stellar) in her A levels but has dropped out of university twice as her mental health spiralled out of control. The first time she had a break down and became painfully thin and develped gastric issues. She is currently working at Tesco which she finds really tedious, but she says she is burnt out from school and college so this will do for now. I hope in time she will find her way

I left school with no GCSE’s. Didn’t even take the exams. I was ill a lot with various things.

I took my Maths and English at college when I was 18 and failed both.

I had a really good teacher though who helped me a lot during that time and helped me resist my English (which I passed on the second go) and helped me apply for a course at a different college where I could sit 3 more GCSEs. I passed with flying colours, went on to do 3 A-Levels straight afterwards and got a degree in Linguistics.

I will say though it took a very long time for me to pass my maths. Maths is a subject where if you don’t get a really good, engaging teacher then there’s not much hope of passing. I didn’t get that teacher until I was 28.

Failed mine and initially it held me back I suppose but as times gone on, it hasn’t at all and now I’m very happy in a C suite position. When I’m interviewing people I don’t take any notice of their GCSE’s! Actually I love to champion people without formal education.

My DS2 is severely dyslexic, only scraped one GCSE pass, that was a surprise, he didn’t think he would pass one! He has a very successful career in a very specific/niche area of tech that interests him greatly.

RAF. He only passed Maths but his school let him sit A Levels. He is now doing really well in the RAF and has a great career in Intelligence.

@Bunnyannesummers thank you so much!

DS was predicted 5-7 in English & Maths and similar for his humanity subjects etc, but he will be lucky to pass just English Lang & Maths ( he’s only taking two GCSEs purely because of the gaps in his education due to many factors, predominantly MH), so school have advised this.

He absolutely loves wildlife and anything to do with cars but believes that any animal management courses will lead to low paid jobs, so he possibly wouldn’t want to go down that route.

His next train of thought would he along the lines of an electrician or plumber, although I’m not sure electrical work would be for him, he struggles to concentrate (ADHD) and I could be way off the mark but I believe he would quickly lose interest. These are my internal thoughts, I would never tell him. I don’t know enough about this kind of course to judge, it could be completely different to how I imagine, similarly the same regarding plumbing.

I wish he could find something that he’s passionate about, even if it leads to nothing, in his first year of leaving school, to give him a boost, to show him that there really is a positive world out there, to encourage him and build his confidence.

He has also looked at a couple of apprenticeships too but unfortunately they require at least 5 GCSEs. He likes the thought of earning his own money, while learning.

He’s still very much up and down though. The last few years have taken their toll on him. I would love him to catch a break, find his niche and be happy. He has such a kind heart and one day I hope this will all be a distant memory.

My daughter failed everything. Ended up in a last chance teaching unit at her school and still failed . Went to college , did Public Protective services and resat her English and maths , had a panic attack in the hall and failed both - which is where we discovered she can't think clearly surrounded by people . Got her level 2 diploma , moved over to health and social, resat English and maths in the much smaller additional needs exam room and passed both .

She's doing paramedic sciences next year , with a view to being a paramedic . It's not been the straightest route , but she's getting there.

My DS struggled all the way through school with a non verbal learning difficulty and autism. He regularly used to get 0% in class tests and failed all his GCSE’s.

I think the main thing to make clear to your DS that school is not for everyone. I used to always say this to my son and I think it helped with his confidence and it is so true. I have a daughter who fits in perfectly to the school mould which actually made it even harder for my son. I used to worry so much about what he would do when he left school.

We decided it was best for him to leave school as soon as he was 16 as being there was difficult for him, he had friends but just the constant struggle with anything academic. He went to college to study a sports course, struggled terribly with that too. Then he was offered an apprenticeship from a family friend. He’s in third year now, it’s been really tough for him, but doing a practical job is definitely better for him. It’s not been without it’s struggles, the college were not particularly helpful and at one point said he couldn’t continue as he was so behind. I explained to them that he has a disability and they must make reasonable adjustments, they then gave him more one to one and extra time to finish. Hopefully he manages to complete his apprenticeship. I have also made sure he can drive (the theory was a challenge) but I think it’s another skill that could lead to employment if the apprenticeship doesn’t work out.

@Amber53 a great career would be gardening / landscape design / horticulture. I know loads of National Trust / English Heritage gardeners. They've had their jobs for decades from straight out of college.

Landscape design is huge! And fun!!

They earn well too x

Oh and I know someone who did a countryside ranger apprenticeship and now earns £40k working in Forestry and Wildlife Conservation!

Has your boy considered the army?

It can work wonders on boys who are a little lost and struggle in a typical learning environment.

I failed all but 1 or 2 of my subjects. We had a lot of upheaval at home, divorce, horrible step parents, bullying at school. I didn’t really focus as much as I should have though.

I went on to work for an IT company in sales, and one of the big software companies everyone would know. At the same time I studied an open university degree and passed.
Dont give up hope, most of the best entrepreneurs didn’t do well in exams. Good luck x

@Amber53 have you looked at car mechanic apprenticeships? There are a lot in that sort of area (I know as I was looking with my son at one stage).

.My son is16 and in his GCSE year he's missed the last half term as he was in critical care for three weeks and then another week on a general.ward with a necrotic,pancreas he was never academic and was probably going to to go on a level.two course anyway ,this is clearly going to.affect his results ,his experience had taught me that in the great scheme of things whilst GCSE,s are important ,health comes first frankly right now I couldn't give a shit,about my sons GCSE,s results he could have died a few weeks ago ,s
there is always another way I have no doubt My son will succeed but it's going to.take longer ,I'm fine with that considering where we were just a few short weeks ago.

My youngest DS has autism and adhd. He's on 14-16 course doing maths and English and level 1 motor vehicle maintenance. Next year he's doing level 1 engineering, he's really looking forward to it! I think he's found his thing.

I was worried 2 GCSEs wouldn't be enough but I've been looking up engineering apprenticeships and found a few that say maths and English is enough.

My oldest just passed his GCSEs, but completely flunked his A Levels. He now works in a special school as a LSA. Not the best paid job, but he loves it.

Hi op - I teach GCSE Maths at a local college. We have hundreds of kids re-sitting

Those with Grade 1 or 2 sit Functional Skills E3 or L1

Those with Grade 3 re-take GCSE

Other colleges may be different. I've got lads on Apprenticeships without maths and English. They sit Functional Skills L1 or L2 (depending what year Apprenticeship they're in)

Our classes are smaller than school. Most under 20. He'll have so many options open to him.
Our open evenings already run once a month - see what your local college offer and go along for a chat 😀

They sit Functional Skills L1 or L2 (depending what year Apprenticeship they're in)

I think that's what I started off with too! X

@Workyticket thank you!

We’ve been to a couple of open evenings at College, just so that DS could see the building, the space, the difference.

Would love to be able to have a chat with someone at college, don’t know who, to tell them a little bit about DS, what his struggles have been, what his interests are, just to see if they could suggest any courses, along with advice on pastoral support going forward.

Worse care scenario in DS’s case would be enrolled in a college course and find out the bully from school was also at the same college. Something we’re unfortunately not possibly going to know beforehand.

Me, dyslexic..resit them twice...went to uni aged 21..got a degree...run own business now ..never not worked...

My youngest brother left school in 2017 with almost no GCSE's - he is now making six figures in construction.

Not everyone is academic. I often wonder why I bothered!

Search the name of the college and then careers team, they should be able to offer you a 1-2-1 appointment to chat through your options.
From what you’ve said i think a BTEC Level 2 is the best next step, potentially in animal management or similar if he’s passionate about that. It’ll give him a year to get his equilibrium back, start feeling more positive and also spend that year deciding what he wants to do next.
If he’s having a rough time, and also has the ADHD to factor in, I wouldn’t say an apprenticeship is going to be his best option right now, but possibly a T Level based on his areas of interest.
Has he looked into different animal care careers? Some are low paid but plenty give a decent wage.

@Bunnyannesummers thank you. I absolutely agree with you regarding apprenticeships, I really do think DS needs a mix of something he’s already passionate about, mixed with a part time job, maybe? I’ve read about college courses that students attend three days a week? Something like this, I believe would be ideal for him, it’s just finding the right course.