If your DC failed their GCSEs what are they doing now?

[Amber53]

Posting here for traffic.

I’ve been scouring past MN threads about this subject and often wonder what the future held for the DC who didn’t do well.

Reason being, DS who has struggled with MH, suicidal ideation, diagnosed ADHD and in the ASD pathway, bullied, will most likely leave school without any GCSEs. He’s had an horrendous time throughout really.

My main objective is to work with him and help with his MH. Bottom line is, when he’s away from the school environment he’s a different person, so he’s currently doing online lessons. When in school his MH declines, so we’re thankful he only has weeks left.

I can’t help but worry about the future though without GCSEs. I keep this hidden from him of course, but as a parent it’s only natural to worry about these things.

Can I ask anyone who has been through similar how your DC are doing now? How did they navigate the next step?

As DC now have to continue their education, I just don’t know what we should be encouraging next. DS doesn’t really know what he wants to do. He said he’d just like to work, earn money. I think the reality might be easier said than done, although I understand this viewpoint as he’s had such a negative experience so far. Why would he want to go onto somewhere he thinks will be just the same I.e college, 6th form etc.

We are currently trying to apply for an EHCP, although it’s going to be a long battle judging by the many things I’ve read. Too late to help with the current secondary school situation but might help for the future?

If anyone could share their experiences or offer any help it would be much appreciated.

my eldest got 3 GCSE's. He working in sales now (24) and doing well, My second child got 5 grade 4/5 ; hes at University studying music ... the third did well and is doing A levels

@Amber53 our ds is doing a Btec in college and his full time course is condensed into 3 days.

Try to get to an open evening, with or without ds, speak to student services and go from there.

My brother failed his and he tried to retake maths and English at college a few times but failed each time. He’s a postie now and pretty happy with his job. Not everyone in the world is destined to be an intellect.

School should provide careers guidance. Look at local colleges re inclusive learning or level 1 courses.

DD got 3 GCSEs, but enjoyed college much more than school and got straight Distinction-Stars in her level 3 BTEC. Got a job which isn’t highly paid but is in a really important sector (don’t want to be too outing) - she absolutely loves her job and was promoted in less than 6 months.

Personally I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on what he does next. What I mean by this is try and find a course that you know he will potentially enjoy and completely disregard if it will lead on to a job/career etc .

view this next year as something to fill a gap and tick a box.

my DSS had SEN, he secured a C in English Lang but everything else was classed as a fail. He had no clue what he wanted to do so we went to the local college and he decided to do a level 2 Electrical Installation course. This was a basic intro into Electrics. He also had to retake his Maths. He managed to pass that and pass his Level 2. He then decided to carry on to Level 3 with an apprenticeship. He spent 3 years doing that with 1 day a week at college / 4 days at work. He qualified as an Electrician. He completely shocked himself that he was able to learn at college when school was such a struggle. However as soon as he qualified he swiftly left and moved to something else. He’s now doing something completely different.

he basically needed to do something because that’s what was required and he’s a qualified electrician, he would be earning lots (probably beyond double ) more working as an electrician but is now doing a job he really loves. He’s constantly improving himself now, he’s taking numerous courses to further his career.

i would look at agricultural college (if you have a local one) as they have been fab in this areas. Give him a couple of years to settle after a traumatic time at school. He will get to where he needs/wants to be in time.

we worried so much back then and we really needn’t had x

Husband was dreadful at school- behaviour issues etc. left without any real qualifications.
Ended up fairly high ranking officer.

Sister hated school and scraped through. Now on near six figure salary in a niche job.

there is hope

My son only got math and English. No real extenuating circumstances just didn't revise enough!
He went to college and has an NVQ level 2 and 3 in personal training and fitness instruction, but he did it during covid so no work experience (which was a hugely important part of the course) and he couldn't really make friends. He had a job (in retail, but no room for real advancement) throughout and has made that full time while he figures out what to do next (he's 19 now). I think he thought the guy at the gym who kind of took him under his wing would help give him his first break (an independent gym which he goes to almost daily since he was 15), but that hasn't happened (which he took very personally).
He's young, he's very disciplined with his gym and work, but is unsure of what's next, which does make him anxious.

Love this thread

I didn’t get any GCSEs left school and worked in retail, then admin within retail and then a job in admin. Worked in different admin roles always working my way up and now work in project management.

Haven’t done any more qualifications but earn a good wage and really enjoy what I do!

As somebody who drives concrete mixers as part of my job I'm always amazed by how few young lads go down this path. With the driver shortage it's totally possible to make £50k+ in a decent Class 1 job nowadays.

I sometimes wonder if it's our societal stereotype of success involving academic pursuits that causes people to feel it's either that or failure, as opposed to making more than most office workers without ever donning a suit and tie.

Sure, if you want to be a CEO etc then doing an MBA or similar isn't a bad idea, but in reality the vast majority of workers don't earn anywhere near what a well paid arctic driver does. And then owner/operator guys make even more - about £5k a month after tax in the plants I work at.

@HeBeaverandSheBeaver thank you!

I’m so grateful to everyone who has shared their stories, I can’t thank them all enough.

If this thread helps others who are going through similar, it’s so rewarding.

We’ve been through such a stressful few years, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Reading positive outcomes from negative school years really does help and give hope for the future.

An ex failed theirs, mostly because of absent parenting and a rubbish school, went on to do carpentry which led to an interest in restoration and now works in restoration for an art museum.

We are so messed up in this country with our skewed perception of class/money/value of jobs. Worked an event recently with a lorry driver who is on 80k and has a side hustle in his favourite sport. Tradesmen make a lot of money too often running their own businesses. A bit of faith in himself and finding his path and he will be right as rain. GCSEs are not everything.

I know a guy who does deliveries in London for film/tv studios - props, generators, etc. He's paid £300 for each job and he's usually finished early afternoon. Occasionally he manages to do two in a day.

@StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar, now there is a driver shortage class 1 drivers if they lost a job one day they can walk into a better paid job the next day. All they have to do is keep a clean licence with no points. My son moved to North to buy his own house taking a £9k a year pay cut as too expensive for him to buy in area we live in but still earns between £40-45k gross depending on the amount of hours worked. He has a nice house, nice car, enjoys his job and a lovely girlfriend. When he was at school always in trouble for not finishing his work I used to worry sick he would never be able to find an employer who would employ him at all. He's also been employee of the year a few years ago because he saved a man's life who was having a heart attack.

My DD did factory work and by chance helped look after a relative with dementia. The relative had to go into a care home. The manager was so impressed she offered my DD a job. Something clicked and MH became my DD's passion. She worked for a company who trains from within, her dyslexia has been supported. Her ADHD helps her work long hours. She's now a manager and on degree type wages. She could barely read when she started high school. My youngest has LD's her passion was cooking. Now she works in catering in the NHS. I think it's about finding something that clicks. I know plenty of lads who earn good money driving/on the building etc. Even retailers now train from within. Someone else had to do functional skills, so they could be trained one level up in the pharmacy that they worked in.

Such a lovely thread. And very reassuring too. Thank you OP!

Not my DC, but my brother, who has just been diagnosed with ADHD in his thirties, having been let down by the education system (my mother pushed for support but got nowhere).

My brother ended up working for a few years, then went to college and did an access course, followed by a degree at a prestigious university and now works for one of the top employers in his field (who, refreshingly, were the people who suggested he sought diagnosis and are completely flexible regarding the way he works/manages the ADHD).

Thank you for this thread x

@StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar my ds did pretty miserably at school but got an apprenticeship as an hgv technician. Passed his class 2 and class 1 when he was old enough and as soon as he got his papers left to start driving full time.

At the tender age of 24 he now owns 3 trucks, has 3 full time drivers and various subbies and is making money I can only dream of!!!

@Amber53

If a level 1 course it is likely to be days to allow for English & Maths. There won't be much if any work outside that.
A level 2 course will be 3 or 4 days. Again because many will be resitting English and/or Maths. At DD's college for Animal care there are so many they can have the non resitters in a separate group over just 3 days.

Animal Care/Management can lead to a variety of jobs up to Vet Nursing if they do the Science based stream at level 3.

Is he 'better' yet? DD finds her L1 course straightforward but because her MH issues still exist she has been told she wouldn't cope on the specific L2 course due to how it is examined (though if she could travel even further there would be a different 'board' that would be more suitable, but it is too far.)

Does he have an EHCP?

He could do a L1 course as a foundation year while he continues to improve and then move up the ranks.

Have you missed all the open days? We've just been to 2 but I think they are the last before June. You need to talk to learning support at the colleges.

My adult son failed all GCSE’s and is now doing well on a bricklaying course and works part time in a pub / restaurant type place. His college had places on multi trades and other vocational courses for kids that failed GCSE’s and advisors who helped kids in his position.

Another one grateful for this thread. Thanks for all the posts, lots of interesting options and journeys. We’re in the midst of a fairly disastrous Nat 5 year, so this is really helping me feel more positive.

I agree with PP who says don't worry too much about the next course - it might just be a stepping stone.
My other DS did get GCSEs but they were teacher assessed in 2020, could easily have failed. He dropped out of sixth form as he is really not a writer. Careers team fixed him up doing English functional skills and just that 1 day a week going to a little college helped him get his confidence back, he went on to a BTec in event production and will likely get a good grade this year and straight into a job.