Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH took woman's number

137 replies

stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:21

Am I being overly dramatic?
DH went out with work colleagues this afternoon to watch the football and have a meal, and then went to the local pub when he got back for one final beer while I was travelling back from seeing family.
He was pretty drunk when he got home, told me a bit about his evening with his colleagues and then fell asleep on the sofa.
He's lied to me previously about stuff but he's never cheated. I had a weird gut feeling, something was off, so I decided to have a look at his phone. Nothing untoward aside from a phone number in the Notes section with a woman's name, time stamped at the time he was at the local pub this evening.
What am I meant to do with this info? Confront him? If I confront him then I'm telling him I looked at his phone, which I'm now severely regretting!!

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 27/03/2023 00:23

Change the number to a random one

LocSeeTan · 27/03/2023 00:24

People act out of character when pissed. I wouldn't necessarily jump to conclusions but I would let him know that you saw he'd added this person's number and ask why he had done this.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/03/2023 00:24

Delete it and see if he remembers... or just call him out on it.

snitzelvoncrumb · 27/03/2023 00:26

I would change the number to one of my friends numbers and see if he contacts her.

Original poster
stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:28

Thanks for a bit of solidarity! Was thinking I may get jumped on for snooping.

I changed one digit when I saw the number, but now worried that if I've jumped to the wrong conclusion and it's actually an important phone number then I've cocked something up! Oh lordie, I'm in a spiral!

OP posts:
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 27/03/2023 00:31

Never cheated my foot.

Faithful men don’t take other women’s numbers in pubs.

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 27/03/2023 00:31

snitzelvoncrumb · 27/03/2023 00:26

I would change the number to one of my friends numbers and see if he contacts her.

OMG THIS IS GENIUS!!!

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 27/03/2023 00:32

Although I’m sure the time stamp changes in Notes when you edit a note

JaneJeffer · 27/03/2023 00:32

If it's something important @stripytiger09 I'm sure she'll find a way to contact him. Don't worry and never confess!

Original poster
stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:37

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 27/03/2023 00:32

Although I’m sure the time stamp changes in Notes when you edit a note

It does, but I'm not worried about that. He'd have to confront me about me looking at his phone and then explain the number, that's if he even noticed the time stamp!

OP posts:
Original poster
stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:38

snitzelvoncrumb · 27/03/2023 00:26

I would change the number to one of my friends numbers and see if he contacts her.

Pahaha I wish I'd done that!! Would've been hilarious!

OP posts:
Original poster
stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:39

Thank you for cheering me up you wonderful people! Will try and talk to him about it tomorrow, hopefully all is innocent!

OP posts:
Strainzer · 27/03/2023 00:40

I just have to say - @stripytiger09 , your spidey sense is NEXT LEVEL.
👏👏👏

You have been given a superpower - never feel bad about using it.

Runwayw · 27/03/2023 00:40

If he’s that drunk, confront him in the morning and say that when he came in he told you he’d got someone’s number. He won’t be able to remember that he didn’t and that way he won’t know that you checked his phone.

LondonPretty · 27/03/2023 00:44

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:44

Strainzer · 27/03/2023 00:40

I just have to say - @stripytiger09 , your spidey sense is NEXT LEVEL.
👏👏👏

You have been given a superpower - never feel bad about using it.

It's weird, I always know when something is going on. Maybe this time it was because he was oh so happy telling me the details about his colleagues but said absolutely nothing about the pub after. Which is strange for him, usually he'd tell me all the details about everything (even if those details were to say the pub was dead)

OP posts:
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 27/03/2023 00:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Did you miss the part where he got another woman’s number?

Cheating is OK but snooping on cheaters isn’t Confused

LondonPretty · 27/03/2023 00:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
stripytiger09 · 27/03/2023 00:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

A relationship where we've been together for many years, married, have children.
If he's thinking about being with another woman then that issue needs to be addressed!
Clearly this doesn't happen often, hence why I needed someone to talk be me down from my ledge and give a little support.
One day if you're ever in this situation i hope you receive supportive messages, not people asking why you're still with your partner.

OP posts:
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 27/03/2023 00:50

It’s not irrelevant what’s on the phone. He’s cheating on OP.

She snooped for a reason and thank god she did - so weird you think that’s worse than cheating. Have you cheated and got caught out and done that “OMG you’ve invaded my pRIvaCy” nonsense that cheater alive to do to gaslight their poor other halves?

JaneJeffer · 27/03/2023 00:50

There's always one

LondonPretty · 27/03/2023 00:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

LondonPretty · 27/03/2023 00:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Tarantellah · 27/03/2023 00:54

There are obviously bigger problems in your relationship than just this, otherwise you wouldn’t have felt the need to look at his phone at all. Honestly if I saw this on my husband’s phone I’d just assume it was someone he had spoken to and wanted to contact for some reason. Maybe she makes birthday cakes, or runs a kids club, or whatever. My mind certainly wouldn’t jump to cheating. But I trust my husband and you obviously don’t.

Barleysugar86 · 27/03/2023 01:11

Tarantellah · 27/03/2023 00:54

There are obviously bigger problems in your relationship than just this, otherwise you wouldn’t have felt the need to look at his phone at all. Honestly if I saw this on my husband’s phone I’d just assume it was someone he had spoken to and wanted to contact for some reason. Maybe she makes birthday cakes, or runs a kids club, or whatever. My mind certainly wouldn’t jump to cheating. But I trust my husband and you obviously don’t.

This ^
I had fun with my hubby the other day when I came home from work to find an open/ empty condom wrapper on his floor (we haven't used them for nearly a year as ttc). He just laughed and said it had been in the side pocket of the bag he'd emptied out on his bed that day to use for the first time in ages. I had no doubt this was true but still enjoyed teasing him about it for the night. Regardless of the reasons for this number the trust isn't there in your marriage and that's something you'll both need to work on or it will eat you up (I've been there in other relationships and I used to feel sick and on edge all the time).