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Original poster

To be cheesed off about the pasta bake incident five years on

482 replies

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:22

This is as light hearted as it gets, I'm not actually fuming about this! I am interested in some perspectives though.

In 2017, five friends from East Anglia and I got an Airbnb in London so we could all go to a late night event nearby. I was the first to arrive (I live in London but was bunking in with them anyway) so I went to a supermarket and got a few bags of crisps, soft drinks and some small charcuterie type stuff - enough for everyone, but mainly because I like having this kind of stuff around while I'm getting ready to go out, so I paid for it myself. I figured the others could order delivery if they wanted anything bigger.

On my friends' group chat, I'd noticed a few references to a "pasta bake" and some requests for money over the past two weeks, but I'd skimmed over these.

When my friends turned up, one of the couples (who I barely knew) arrived with THE pasta bake. I was surprised as I thought it had been a joke - and practically speaking, it sort of was. There were two huge ceramic oven dishes full of the coldest, most wet and cheese-less penne bake I'd even seen, and they'd been sitting in the back of someone's car covered in foil for over three hours, all the way from Kings Lynn to Southwark. They were carried in with GREAT fanfare by the woman of the couple, who proceeded to re-heat this huge beige thing in the oven, and then ladle big, sad, stodgy bowls of it out to everyone (not what anyone wants to try to hold and shovel down while trying to put on makeup and get into a cocktail dress!!!). She talked about the cooking process and recipe too, as if we couldn't work it out. The way this woman went about it, you'd think she thought she'd rescued the whole night from disaster and starvation. I think I attempted to navigate my way around an undercooked piece of broccoli and watery pasta for a bit before hiding it in my room. It was honestly so bizarre to watch this performance happening while the rest of us were enjoying the vibe of getting ready to go to a quite expensive and elegant night out.

So far so bland. But the next morning, the woman went around telling everyone how much the ingredients (penne pasta, broccoli, not enough tomato sauce, and cheese In Name Only) had cost and calculating how much each person in the house owed them for the privilege of being involved in THE pasta bake. I honestly can't remember if I paid up or not - I think one of my mates who was closer to them paid for a few of us out of embarrassment.

This couple are divorced now, and I haven't seen the woman since the event. I've never brought it up with my friends, but I find myself thinking about this all the time. Was I being snotty about what was, in theory, a nice but misguided gesture? Am I overestimating how much small-towners know about food availability in Central London after dark? Or was this genuinely weird and off base?

OP posts:
SpaghettifingerFusillitoe · 26/03/2023 13:59

I don’t eat meat (or fish) and once I went to a friend’s house and they were similarly hyping up an exciting new recipe they’d researched just for me! It was a cheese and tuna pasta bake with chilli and cheese Doritos crumbled into the topping. So not my thing but they and their kids devoured it! I ate what I could and said I’d already earlier eaten by accident. They’ve now discovered Gousto 😁 I feel a bit more affection for their excitement about tuna crisp than OP does tho :)

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 26/03/2023 14:00

The OP didn't pay because if she did, she would have remembered that detail..

I think it's funny how the OP just happened to skim over the pasta bake messages.
She didn't, she read them and moved them to "irrelevant" in her head and then lo and behold it suddenly became relevant!
I personally wouldnt eat sliced Parma ham and pepperoni and chorizo before a night out as that's not going to soak up the booze, is it?
I imagine that's why the pasta bake was brought!

RichardHeed · 26/03/2023 14:02

How can a pasta bake be watery and soggy but the broccoli undercooked?

You’re certainly not being snobby since you’re scarfing down Tesco ham while you’re getting ready, hardly classy. But you do you pet.

GatoradeMeBitch · 26/03/2023 14:05

Salty comments on this kind of thread...

It's fine to like soggy bland pasta bakes, you are not being attacked!

Hungrycaterpillarsmummy · 26/03/2023 14:07

RichardHeed · 26/03/2023 14:02

How can a pasta bake be watery and soggy but the broccoli undercooked?

You’re certainly not being snobby since you’re scarfing down Tesco ham while you’re getting ready, hardly classy. But you do you pet.

She didn't even eat it so she probably doesn't even know! Just how closely did she look at it if she wasn't interested in eating it?!

mrcow · 26/03/2023 14:07

I was invited around for dinner by a friend once. It was stuffed marrow. She tried to charge us 60p each for it. It was insulting. She was better off than us by quite a margin (I guess because she was so bloody tight).

Can’t remember if we paid now, but still remember it 30 years on.

FlyingEye · 26/03/2023 14:11

Yeah. Weird. It’s the sort of thing that would play on my mind as well. But I’m petty. 🤣

limitedperiodonly · 26/03/2023 14:11

I still occasionally think about a Fettuccine Alfredo and I wasn’t even there for it.

@AliceOlive that reminds me of a restaurant in Rome, possibly the place that invented Fettuccine Alfredo, though you can never be sure about these things. It's like wherever you go in Greece there's always a stallholder telling you it's the birthplace of Socrates.

Anyway, we sat down on a quiet Tuesday lunchtime and our waiter pointed discreetly but with some pride to a fat beardy man in a hat dining alone and said: "That is Zucchero." For anyone who doesn't know, Zucchero is an Italian singer who we'd have never have heard of if not for the fact he'd just had a massive hit with Paul Young (the youngsters among you might have to google him too) with Senza Una Donna (translation: Without a Woman). We expressed polite interest.

We had the Fettuccine Alfredo, which was the restaurant's signature dish and it was nice as creamy cheesy pasta things go.

Zucchero left and shortly after we finished our lunch and asked for the bill. The waiter told us with disgust that Zucchero had left a measly tip. We said that was deplorable, tipped lavishly to make up for his disappointment and left.

All these years later I wonder if it was an elaborate scam worked by Zucchero and the waiter to shame tourists into leaving generous tips. I'm beginning to suspect that maybe it wasn't even Zucchero at all.

usernother · 26/03/2023 14:14

@Dangelis this thread is giving me a really good laugh. Mainly your responses. Thanks Smile

Gwenhwyfar · 26/03/2023 14:14

"I do know people who like to have stodge before a night out actually."

I thought everybody did except for those 'eating is cheating' twats.

warmeduppizza · 26/03/2023 14:17

I don’t think you are doing the Pasta Bake justice. It ought to be capitalised at least.

OooPourUsACupLove · 26/03/2023 14:17

Honestly the weirdest thing to me is driving from King's Lynn to Southwark for a night or two. Fair enough if it was an outer suburb where you'll probably have a parking space and not contend with inner London traffic, but getting to Southwark from anywhere means ages in stop-start traffic.

limitedperiodonly · 26/03/2023 14:17

I’m not convinced there is such a thing as a well-made pasta bake. I’ve never had one I really enjoyed. They’re just a way of cooking pasta in advance so it can be heated back up in the oven.

@IAmTheWalrus85 I am with you.

OooPourUsACupLove · 26/03/2023 14:18

@limitedperiodonly

Senza Una Dollar

kindlyensure · 26/03/2023 14:19

On my friends' group chat, I'd noticed a few references to a "pasta bake" and some requests for money over the past two weeks, but I'd skimmed over these.

It's weird and off base that you'd skimmed over the information that had alerted you to the very fact that a) the pasta bake was arriving and b) you would have to pay.....but then you have dwelt on the incident for 5 years thinking about it 'all the time.'

Did you think the messages didn't apply to you?

NatashaDancing · 26/03/2023 14:20

I guarantee my group of friends will be talking about the horrors of a terrifyingly awful special number birthday party to our dying day.

I can't say more as the details are so specific the person concerned would recognise herself.

limitedperiodonly · 26/03/2023 14:22

I hate being rude and untruthful,

@AliTheMinx don't blame yourself. Sometimes it's the only way

Emotionalsupportviper · 26/03/2023 14:25

AliceOlive · 26/03/2023 13:41

@Emotionalsupportviper Hmmm I don’t think so as he was/is a confirmed bachelor. She did make quite a living off doing his ironing and making his lunches, though.

He hated her food but was otherwise unwilling to take care of himself so he would often accept whatever she offered. He drew the line at sandwiches for dinner though. Sandwiches are not dinner.

Narrow escape.

And he's right - sandwiches are NOT dinner. (Unless I can't be bothered to cook anything)

Emotionalsupportviper · 26/03/2023 14:28

TheShellBeach · 26/03/2023 13:45

Is anyone interested in my lentil soup incident of 1995?

YES!

Tell me!

I love lentil soup, and I love "incidents" - sounds like a perfect storm.

(My only food related one is having chewing gum put in my hair by a boy many years ago.)

Emotionalsupportviper · 26/03/2023 14:29

Imtryingnottobother · 26/03/2023 13:46

@Emotionalsupportviper There are many possible scenarios.

The least likely to me is a group of friends asking someone to make a pasta bake for a night out in London.

I agree.

katepilar · 26/03/2023 14:29

I think its normal to be thinking about what happened years ago and still have feelings about it. Eventhough I do sometimes envy people who dont do this as I think their lives are much easier.

AbreathofFrenchair · 26/03/2023 14:31

Testina · 26/03/2023 11:47

So someone says in advance that they’re going to bring a pasta bake and says in advance that it would be for all and contribution expected.

So you had plenty of opportunity to say “there are loads of places to eat in London and I don’t fancy a big meal when getting ready” - yet you didn’t.

The only thing this person did wrong, was not be a great cook 🤷🏻‍♀️ (in your opinion)

And now you’re griping about in 5 years on? You’re not a nice person.

And by the way… I expect you bought some cold meats, yes? “Charcuterie” my arse 🤣 You sound like a north Lynner who’s been to Peterborough once (let alone London) and come back up their own arse 🤣

Come back up their own arse, brilliant 😂😂 never heard that saying before

AbreathofFrenchair · 26/03/2023 14:37

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:22

This is as light hearted as it gets, I'm not actually fuming about this! I am interested in some perspectives though.

In 2017, five friends from East Anglia and I got an Airbnb in London so we could all go to a late night event nearby. I was the first to arrive (I live in London but was bunking in with them anyway) so I went to a supermarket and got a few bags of crisps, soft drinks and some small charcuterie type stuff - enough for everyone, but mainly because I like having this kind of stuff around while I'm getting ready to go out, so I paid for it myself. I figured the others could order delivery if they wanted anything bigger.

On my friends' group chat, I'd noticed a few references to a "pasta bake" and some requests for money over the past two weeks, but I'd skimmed over these.

When my friends turned up, one of the couples (who I barely knew) arrived with THE pasta bake. I was surprised as I thought it had been a joke - and practically speaking, it sort of was. There were two huge ceramic oven dishes full of the coldest, most wet and cheese-less penne bake I'd even seen, and they'd been sitting in the back of someone's car covered in foil for over three hours, all the way from Kings Lynn to Southwark. They were carried in with GREAT fanfare by the woman of the couple, who proceeded to re-heat this huge beige thing in the oven, and then ladle big, sad, stodgy bowls of it out to everyone (not what anyone wants to try to hold and shovel down while trying to put on makeup and get into a cocktail dress!!!). She talked about the cooking process and recipe too, as if we couldn't work it out. The way this woman went about it, you'd think she thought she'd rescued the whole night from disaster and starvation. I think I attempted to navigate my way around an undercooked piece of broccoli and watery pasta for a bit before hiding it in my room. It was honestly so bizarre to watch this performance happening while the rest of us were enjoying the vibe of getting ready to go to a quite expensive and elegant night out.

So far so bland. But the next morning, the woman went around telling everyone how much the ingredients (penne pasta, broccoli, not enough tomato sauce, and cheese In Name Only) had cost and calculating how much each person in the house owed them for the privilege of being involved in THE pasta bake. I honestly can't remember if I paid up or not - I think one of my mates who was closer to them paid for a few of us out of embarrassment.

This couple are divorced now, and I haven't seen the woman since the event. I've never brought it up with my friends, but I find myself thinking about this all the time. Was I being snotty about what was, in theory, a nice but misguided gesture? Am I overestimating how much small-towners know about food availability in Central London after dark? Or was this genuinely weird and off base?

You've said you didnt really read the messages about the pasta bake so you knew they were there but then act all affronted that someone came with the pasta bake.

Maybe read messages next time and not just skim them. At least you had your big city charcuterie to eat (aka cocktail sausages, sausage rolls and a Scotch egg or two)

Have to laugh at yet someone else thinking outside of the m25 is nothing bit little towns and village idiots 😂

Herethere123 · 26/03/2023 14:37

About two hours ago I googled a mortgage related question, landed on an old mumsnet thread and went down a mumsnet rabbit hole. Read all nine pages of this thread and felt a genuine sense of disappointment when I reached the last post. Thanks to all involved but especially to the poster who awarded prizes for the food puns.

cityle · 26/03/2023 14:39

You know.

Thank you so much for this post
I cannot stop laughing GrinGrinGrin