Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be cheesed off about the pasta bake incident five years on

482 replies

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:22

This is as light hearted as it gets, I'm not actually fuming about this! I am interested in some perspectives though.

In 2017, five friends from East Anglia and I got an Airbnb in London so we could all go to a late night event nearby. I was the first to arrive (I live in London but was bunking in with them anyway) so I went to a supermarket and got a few bags of crisps, soft drinks and some small charcuterie type stuff - enough for everyone, but mainly because I like having this kind of stuff around while I'm getting ready to go out, so I paid for it myself. I figured the others could order delivery if they wanted anything bigger.

On my friends' group chat, I'd noticed a few references to a "pasta bake" and some requests for money over the past two weeks, but I'd skimmed over these.

When my friends turned up, one of the couples (who I barely knew) arrived with THE pasta bake. I was surprised as I thought it had been a joke - and practically speaking, it sort of was. There were two huge ceramic oven dishes full of the coldest, most wet and cheese-less penne bake I'd even seen, and they'd been sitting in the back of someone's car covered in foil for over three hours, all the way from Kings Lynn to Southwark. They were carried in with GREAT fanfare by the woman of the couple, who proceeded to re-heat this huge beige thing in the oven, and then ladle big, sad, stodgy bowls of it out to everyone (not what anyone wants to try to hold and shovel down while trying to put on makeup and get into a cocktail dress!!!). She talked about the cooking process and recipe too, as if we couldn't work it out. The way this woman went about it, you'd think she thought she'd rescued the whole night from disaster and starvation. I think I attempted to navigate my way around an undercooked piece of broccoli and watery pasta for a bit before hiding it in my room. It was honestly so bizarre to watch this performance happening while the rest of us were enjoying the vibe of getting ready to go to a quite expensive and elegant night out.

So far so bland. But the next morning, the woman went around telling everyone how much the ingredients (penne pasta, broccoli, not enough tomato sauce, and cheese In Name Only) had cost and calculating how much each person in the house owed them for the privilege of being involved in THE pasta bake. I honestly can't remember if I paid up or not - I think one of my mates who was closer to them paid for a few of us out of embarrassment.

This couple are divorced now, and I haven't seen the woman since the event. I've never brought it up with my friends, but I find myself thinking about this all the time. Was I being snotty about what was, in theory, a nice but misguided gesture? Am I overestimating how much small-towners know about food availability in Central London after dark? Or was this genuinely weird and off base?

OP posts:
Lengokengo · 26/03/2023 11:50

I am still upset about a minestrone soup incident over 9 years ago and still think about it reasonably often. Utterly disproportionate to the event. I am still processing it all these years later!

Food-based solidarity to you!

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:50

Villssev · 26/03/2023 11:48

When my friends turned up, one of the couples (who I barely knew) arrived with THE pasta bake. I

but you said you got the air bnb for five friends

Oh no, I've been caught by Officer Semantics of the Word Police.

OP posts:
Villssev · 26/03/2023 11:50

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:49

As a way to illustrate the monumental journey taken by the pasta across time and space.

which you are scathing about

whereas I see as someone who would a bloody big effort

the80sweregreat · 26/03/2023 11:50

Random things that I've done in the past sometimes pop into my head , or I might recall a situation I could have handled much better and I think this is what your doing here.
They were obviously a little bit over the top about these pasta bakes , but I agree it was probably just a money saving thing and ( maybe ) they had done this before and it had gone down a storm! Even five years ago eating out in London wasn't that cheap , plus it is good to try and eat something before you start drinking alcohol !
Asking for money was cheeky , but nobodies perfect and they still had to go and buy the ingredients and make it all and bring to the place where you were staying.
I would have paid up tbh, but then I appreciate anyone cooking for me.
Are you still friends with them ?

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:51

Lengokengo · 26/03/2023 11:50

I am still upset about a minestrone soup incident over 9 years ago and still think about it reasonably often. Utterly disproportionate to the event. I am still processing it all these years later!

Food-based solidarity to you!

Well, now I have to know what happened!

OP posts:
Daffodilsandbeer · 26/03/2023 11:51

*I've never brought it up with my friends, but I find myself thinking about this all the time8

god really? You’ve Been thinking about a pasta bake all the time fie 5 years?

Villssev · 26/03/2023 11:51

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:50

Oh no, I've been caught by Officer Semantics of the Word Police.

But surely you invited her!! You got the air bnb and your five friends!!

Bamboux · 26/03/2023 11:52

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:49

As a way to illustrate the monumental journey taken by the pasta across time and space.

You thought that saying Kings Lynn and Southwark specifically would communicate something more than East Anglia and London?

Is this practice for a terrible blog?

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:54

Villssev · 26/03/2023 11:51

But surely you invited her!! You got the air bnb and your five friends!!

The Airbnb was organised by one of the other people there, and I was asked if I wanted to join them, which I did. I didn't read enough of the pasta based smallprint, clearly!

OP posts:
PacificallyRequested · 26/03/2023 11:54

It's weird, but so is eating charcuterie while you're getting ready.

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:55

Bamboux · 26/03/2023 11:52

You thought that saying Kings Lynn and Southwark specifically would communicate something more than East Anglia and London?

Is this practice for a terrible blog?

Luckily, my terrible blog is about something else!

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 26/03/2023 11:55

I think it's weird to be expected to pay towards a pasta bake when it's a cheap dish to make!

Villssev · 26/03/2023 11:56

The one thing I like when I’m getting ready is a glass of wine

and yet you went with soft drinks and no wine 😂

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:57

PacificallyRequested · 26/03/2023 11:54

It's weird, but so is eating charcuterie while you're getting ready.

Tesco's salami and ham selection is pretty handy to have on the go when you're not in the mood for a full meal and need to get your protein in!

OP posts:
wendywoopywoo222 · 26/03/2023 11:57

I wish I had a freind who fed me pasta bake getting ready to go out. Would prob end up less pissed and buying expensive food that I rarely eat at the end of the night.

happysingleversary · 26/03/2023 11:58

Sounds like a dish I couldn’t force down
pasta is my specialty and I like al dente with rich sauce

no way would I allow myself to be extorted for the displeasure of the monstrosity and insult to pasta you have described

in fact I’d be royally offended and unable to hold my tongue

NoSquirrels · 26/03/2023 11:59

Was I being snotty about what was, in theory, a nice but misguided gesture?

Yes.

Read the WhatsApp chat, contribute appropriately (whether that’s cash for the pasta bake or ‘no thanks, I’m planning on grabbing takeaway when we’re out’).

HamstersAreMyLife · 26/03/2023 11:59

I want to know how much you had to pay for this monstrosity

Villssev · 26/03/2023 11:59

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:57

Tesco's salami and ham selection is pretty handy to have on the go when you're not in the mood for a full meal and need to get your protein in!

maybe others did fancy more of a sit down meal? 🤷‍♀️

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:59

Villssev · 26/03/2023 11:56

The one thing I like when I’m getting ready is a glass of wine

and yet you went with soft drinks and no wine 😂

Oh, I had some tinny cocktails, the diet coke was for general consumption.

I'll be asked to provide a bloody diagram next, I swear!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 26/03/2023 12:00

I don’t think this story is quite as odd or funny as you’re portraying it as. Some friends coming to visit agreed that somebody would make a pasta bake and costs would be shared. You didn’t read the messages properly and didn’t realise there would be pasta or that you’d be expected to contribute to the cost. Is pretty much the story.

Villssev · 26/03/2023 12:00

HamstersAreMyLife · 26/03/2023 11:59

I want to know how much you had to pay for this monstrosity

zero

she thinks another friend paid but no evidence for that given it’s shrouded in secrecy!

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 12:00

HamstersAreMyLife · 26/03/2023 11:59

I want to know how much you had to pay for this monstrosity

It was definitely in the pounds and not pence category, that's all I remember

OP posts:
Aprilx · 26/03/2023 12:00

Yes as you have asked, you do sound a bit snotty about what was a nice gesture. It had also clearly been discussed before and I think as you were about to stay in an Airbnb with this group you could have engaged a bit more. But I guess the weirdest thing is to still be thinking about it five years later.

Bamboux · 26/03/2023 12:01

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:55

Luckily, my terrible blog is about something else!

I knew you'd have one. The laboured style shows a mile off.

As does the appalling wannabe snobbery re. 'small-towners' not knowing about 'charcuterie'. Dead giveaway of someone who moved from a small town very recently.