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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be cheesed off about the pasta bake incident five years on

482 replies

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:22

This is as light hearted as it gets, I'm not actually fuming about this! I am interested in some perspectives though.

In 2017, five friends from East Anglia and I got an Airbnb in London so we could all go to a late night event nearby. I was the first to arrive (I live in London but was bunking in with them anyway) so I went to a supermarket and got a few bags of crisps, soft drinks and some small charcuterie type stuff - enough for everyone, but mainly because I like having this kind of stuff around while I'm getting ready to go out, so I paid for it myself. I figured the others could order delivery if they wanted anything bigger.

On my friends' group chat, I'd noticed a few references to a "pasta bake" and some requests for money over the past two weeks, but I'd skimmed over these.

When my friends turned up, one of the couples (who I barely knew) arrived with THE pasta bake. I was surprised as I thought it had been a joke - and practically speaking, it sort of was. There were two huge ceramic oven dishes full of the coldest, most wet and cheese-less penne bake I'd even seen, and they'd been sitting in the back of someone's car covered in foil for over three hours, all the way from Kings Lynn to Southwark. They were carried in with GREAT fanfare by the woman of the couple, who proceeded to re-heat this huge beige thing in the oven, and then ladle big, sad, stodgy bowls of it out to everyone (not what anyone wants to try to hold and shovel down while trying to put on makeup and get into a cocktail dress!!!). She talked about the cooking process and recipe too, as if we couldn't work it out. The way this woman went about it, you'd think she thought she'd rescued the whole night from disaster and starvation. I think I attempted to navigate my way around an undercooked piece of broccoli and watery pasta for a bit before hiding it in my room. It was honestly so bizarre to watch this performance happening while the rest of us were enjoying the vibe of getting ready to go to a quite expensive and elegant night out.

So far so bland. But the next morning, the woman went around telling everyone how much the ingredients (penne pasta, broccoli, not enough tomato sauce, and cheese In Name Only) had cost and calculating how much each person in the house owed them for the privilege of being involved in THE pasta bake. I honestly can't remember if I paid up or not - I think one of my mates who was closer to them paid for a few of us out of embarrassment.

This couple are divorced now, and I haven't seen the woman since the event. I've never brought it up with my friends, but I find myself thinking about this all the time. Was I being snotty about what was, in theory, a nice but misguided gesture? Am I overestimating how much small-towners know about food availability in Central London after dark? Or was this genuinely weird and off base?

OP posts:
Catspyjamas17 · 28/03/2023 11:07

I remember a couple of New Year's Eves we had dinner round at a friend's place, and probably another couple of times too. Lovely evening in general but each time I'd be passing out with hunger (and perhaps alcohol may have had something to do with it) before we got to eat, it would take hours. I can't remember what the food was, it was probably tasty when it came. Haven't seen him for years - I wonder if he has improved his cooking speed?

Bamboux · 28/03/2023 12:01

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 04:37

King’s Lynn to Southwark - specific and funny.

East Anglia to London - informative and not funny.

Don't give up the day job.

Unless your day job is teaching comedy scriptwriting, in which case disregard the above.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 12:09

Bamboux · 28/03/2023 12:01

Don't give up the day job.

Unless your day job is teaching comedy scriptwriting, in which case disregard the above.

Actually, writing funny was my job. It paid very well. And there’s a lot of theory behind it.

For instance, there are funny numbers and unfunny numbers All the funny numbers are odd.

17 - funny
18 - not funny

But not all odd numbers are funny. 25, for instance, isn’t funny at all.

AliceOlive · 28/03/2023 12:11

Villssev · 28/03/2023 07:08

I just don’t generally find bitching a source of humour. And it would seem many others on this thread think the same as me.

Yet you continue to do it so clearly you find some entertainment value in it.

SecondhandMuck · 28/03/2023 12:13

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 04:37

King’s Lynn to Southwark - specific and funny.

East Anglia to London - informative and not funny.

I agree

SecondhandMuck · 28/03/2023 12:15

But Norfolk is clearly displeased so I will not be surprised to see the ghost of Robert Kett rise up to lead his fellow Norfolkians in rebellion against those who would giggle.

ImSweetEnoughDarlin · 28/03/2023 12:36

Villssev · 28/03/2023 10:12

Not finding something funny doesn’t mean you shouldn’t participate 😐

It does when your only participation is to bring people down.

PaulaVerlaine · 28/03/2023 12:40

Extra nutmeg signora? is a much superior, better crafted anecdote.

PaulaVerlaine · 28/03/2023 13:01

Same for:
"I'm beginning to suspect that maybe it wasn't even Zucchero at all."

Antiquiteas · 28/03/2023 13:02

Villssev · 28/03/2023 07:07

this ”light hearted post” is bitching about a woman who made pasta bake 6 years ago. And it doesn’t even seem that the op paid her a penny. She think her friend paid. Although no one in the group ever discussed it (I’m guessing because no one would dream of bitching about someone who went to the effort of making a a dish and transporting it three hours across London)

It was years ago, I’m no expert but I think the statute of limitations of pasta bakes has long-since passed.

Antiquiteas · 28/03/2023 13:03

Villssev · 28/03/2023 07:08

I just don’t generally find bitching a source of humour. And it would seem many others on this thread think the same as me.

You bitch at a lot of OPs for someone who doesn’t find it entertaining. 😆

Bamboux · 28/03/2023 13:27

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 12:09

Actually, writing funny was my job. It paid very well. And there’s a lot of theory behind it.

For instance, there are funny numbers and unfunny numbers All the funny numbers are odd.

17 - funny
18 - not funny

But not all odd numbers are funny. 25, for instance, isn’t funny at all.

Again, this explains a lot about Mrs Brown's Boys.

ananass · 28/03/2023 13:37

Villssev · 28/03/2023 07:08

I just don’t generally find bitching a source of humour. And it would seem many others on this thread think the same as me.

So what's with all the 'making a tit of yourself' comments and passive aggressive laughing emojis to OP?

Imtryingnottobother · 28/03/2023 13:44

Again, this explains a lot about Mrs Brown's Boys.

Please educate us. What can we laugh at ?

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 13:45

Bamboux · 28/03/2023 13:27

Again, this explains a lot about Mrs Brown's Boys.

Tend to agree with you about Mrs Brown’s Boys.

But if writing humour taught me anything it’s that if you don’t think something’s funny, no one can tell you it is.

ShirleyPhallus · 28/03/2023 14:02

PaulaVerlaine · 28/03/2023 12:40

Extra nutmeg signora? is a much superior, better crafted anecdote.

The one about empanadas was particularly bad

PaulaVerlaine · 28/03/2023 14:08

@ShirleyPhallus I have to agree ... but I wasn't going to mention it.

AliceOlive · 28/03/2023 14:15

Bamboux · 28/03/2023 13:27

Again, this explains a lot about Mrs Brown's Boys.

Here we have a demonstration of repeating oneself in an attempt to achieve the elusive desired reaction from a crowd. Not entertaining.

AliceOlive · 28/03/2023 14:18

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 13:45

Tend to agree with you about Mrs Brown’s Boys.

But if writing humour taught me anything it’s that if you don’t think something’s funny, no one can tell you it is.

Is there a converse rule about someone running around waving their arms and yelling “It’s not funny! I don’t think it’s funny!” ?

Because we need that!

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 15:10

AliceOlive · 28/03/2023 14:18

Is there a converse rule about someone running around waving their arms and yelling “It’s not funny! I don’t think it’s funny!” ?

Because we need that!

Yeah, that can be pretty annoying.

There's a lot of this from older people (of whom I am one), particularly commenting on clips of young stand-ups, saying that they're not funny. They usually cite Morecambe and Wise or Dad's Army as the apotheosis of British humour and refer to young comics as "so-called 'comedians'".

It's been my experience that anyone who uses 'so-called' in any context can safely be ignored. This is a universal truth.

Also, anyone who doesn't understand that James Acaster is a comic genius needs professional help. This may not be a universal truth, but it should be written into law somehow.

fairycakes1234 · 28/03/2023 15:15

Kitkatcatflap · 26/03/2023 11:48

You were snooty about it before it arrived, ignoring the details and dismissing it as joke. When it did arrive (to a fanfare!) you were insulting. All you had to do was decline it in favour of your superior charcuterie board and never given it another thought.

And your last paragraph about how little out of towners know about food after dark ....... So good that you were there with your crisps, processed meat and soft drinks. Every day (and night) is a learning day.

@Kitkatcatflap ah would you ever stop

OooPourUsACupLove · 28/03/2023 15:20

My new hobby on MN will be saying "This explains a lot about Mrs Brown's Boys" after heavyweight comments.

Parklife!

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 28/03/2023 15:37

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 12:09

Actually, writing funny was my job. It paid very well. And there’s a lot of theory behind it.

For instance, there are funny numbers and unfunny numbers All the funny numbers are odd.

17 - funny
18 - not funny

But not all odd numbers are funny. 25, for instance, isn’t funny at all.

What’s funnier - Ovaltine or Horlicks? Lytham St Anne’s or Tunbridge Wells? Cardigans or polo necks?

Also, so once funny things stop being funny if overused, or get superseded? For example, parsnips, while intrinsically funny, are a bit of a lazy go-to, whereas a butternut squash is a bit more 21st century. Thoughts?

SecondhandMuck · 28/03/2023 15:49

What’s funnier - Ovaltine or Horlicks?

Mellow Bird's

WalkingOnTheCracks · 28/03/2023 15:56

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 28/03/2023 15:37

What’s funnier - Ovaltine or Horlicks? Lytham St Anne’s or Tunbridge Wells? Cardigans or polo necks?

Also, so once funny things stop being funny if overused, or get superseded? For example, parsnips, while intrinsically funny, are a bit of a lazy go-to, whereas a butternut squash is a bit more 21st century. Thoughts?

Yeah, Blackadder 2 killed parsnips, though they are intrinsically funny. Butternut squash has too many syllables to be funny in isolation. Rather depends on the rhythm of the sentence.

Both cardigans and polo necks are deeply tragic, and it would be very, very poor taste to make fun of them or anyone who wears them.

Tunbridge Wells can't really be used at all, because of 'Disgusted of....' though I think Victoria Wood managed to do it and make it very funny by aligning it with Barnes.