To be cheesed off about the pasta bake incident five years on

[Dangelis]

This is as light hearted as it gets, I'm not actually fuming about this! I am interested in some perspectives though.

In 2017, five friends from East Anglia and I got an Airbnb in London so we could all go to a late night event nearby. I was the first to arrive (I live in London but was bunking in with them anyway) so I went to a supermarket and got a few bags of crisps, soft drinks and some small charcuterie type stuff - enough for everyone, but mainly because I like having this kind of stuff around while I'm getting ready to go out, so I paid for it myself. I figured the others could order delivery if they wanted anything bigger.

On my friends' group chat, I'd noticed a few references to a "pasta bake" and some requests for money over the past two weeks, but I'd skimmed over these.

When my friends turned up, one of the couples (who I barely knew) arrived with THE pasta bake. I was surprised as I thought it had been a joke - and practically speaking, it sort of was. There were two huge ceramic oven dishes full of the coldest, most wet and cheese-less penne bake I'd even seen, and they'd been sitting in the back of someone's car covered in foil for over three hours, all the way from Kings Lynn to Southwark. They were carried in with GREAT fanfare by the woman of the couple, who proceeded to re-heat this huge beige thing in the oven, and then ladle big, sad, stodgy bowls of it out to everyone (not what anyone wants to try to hold and shovel down while trying to put on makeup and get into a cocktail dress!!!). She talked about the cooking process and recipe too, as if we couldn't work it out. The way this woman went about it, you'd think she thought she'd rescued the whole night from disaster and starvation. I think I attempted to navigate my way around an undercooked piece of broccoli and watery pasta for a bit before hiding it in my room. It was honestly so bizarre to watch this performance happening while the rest of us were enjoying the vibe of getting ready to go to a quite expensive and elegant night out.

So far so bland. But the next morning, the woman went around telling everyone how much the ingredients (penne pasta, broccoli, not enough tomato sauce, and cheese In Name Only) had cost and calculating how much each person in the house owed them for the privilege of being involved in THE pasta bake. I honestly can't remember if I paid up or not - I think one of my mates who was closer to them paid for a few of us out of embarrassment.

This couple are divorced now, and I haven't seen the woman since the event. I've never brought it up with my friends, but I find myself thinking about this all the time. Was I being snotty about what was, in theory, a nice but misguided gesture? Am I overestimating how much small-towners know about food availability in Central London after dark? Or was this genuinely weird and off base?

I have a gazpacho story ( that will out me to anyone in my family reading this....)

It was a Christmas in the 80s. My parents were hosting, my grandparents were staying and my aunt who lived nearby was contributing the starter.

Aunt was, and is, a very good cook so the starter hadn't been prearranged as we knew whatever it was would be good.

Now it may have been Newcastle in the 80s but we were not unsophisticated. We ground our own filter coffee. We may have been the first people in our street to eat hummus. My parents knew of gazpacho.

And my Aunt as her contribution had made a very superior gazpacho that came served with a savoury herb sorbet.

But it was a busy kitchen, and messages such as "this is gazpacho" got missed. In this case by my grandma, who helpfully put the container of soup with its floating sorbet in the microwave to heat up.

The piping hot gazpacho was, we all agreed, absolutely delicious and not at all a thing that had gone wrong. But I'm not sure my lovely Aunt ever entirely forgave grandma.

Careful there that looks suspiciously like my macaroni cheese upthread on which I broke a tooth. Shitty of me apparently according to this bonkers thread.

It depends what the bit you breeze over about messages actually entailed. If this person literally put into the group messages about the trip that she would be happy to make a group meal for the first evening (saving the need for anyone else to think about it, a genuinely kind gesture and not at all uncommon for group stays where competing for the kitchen can create issues) then yes, it's so weird that you not only werent grateful and didn't pay but that you are still thinking about it. If she didn't then no, it was weird of her. Why would you possibly not read messages about a trip though - did you just issue no response at all? In which case you also had every opportunity to say "sorry, i didn't see the messages, I've actually already eaten or I'm not hungry or I'm picking something up while we are out" or a million other things that didn't make you look awful. If you just pushed food around and then someone else paid for you (you say out of embarrassment but honestly if it was my friend I would pay out of embarrassment for the friend that didn't pay and pushed her food not for the friend who cooked a whole meal and brought it along for everyone). I hope this was just a none event at the time and that no one noticed 😬 at least you've not said it to someone else that was there!

Seems like the thread title should have been something like ‘I live in London and I’m too good for pasta bake. AIBU?’

Don't be a dick. It doesn't make you superior, regardless of how achingly middle-class you attempt to be. Charcuterie hung for months with flies everywhere is my idea of hell. I've worked as a chef in several European countries and wouldn't touch it.

Tbh strange thing to still be thinking about. And also I've experienced London after dark and had nowhere to bloody eat! Everything had closed earlier than we anticipated

Why didn’t they take the ingredients and make the thing when they got there ?? It literally takes 5 minutes!!

(misses point of thread)

High Six back to you 😅

My baffling food story: my good friend had a baby and I wanted to do something nice for her. She loves a certain ethic food that freezes well. I decided to make her some but freeze it in a foil container, sealed well, with the bake instructions on it so she would have a ready made meal. It was family sized, family friendly, food she liked; she had eaten at my house many times - with food I had cooked. I’m tidy, house is tidy, kitchen tidy. Ingredients were fresh, no food allergies or aversions.
So I give her the casserole, and she promptly shoves it in her freezer.
Never mentions it again…until TWO years later when she retrieved said foil container, thrusts is at me and says, “We never ate this, you can have it back”.

That was almost 20 years ago and I Still think about this! It’s just so utterly bizarre!! I’ve never asked her, I’m frankly still mortified! The only thing I can think of is that she thought I was giving her my leftovers to something. I did preface giving it to her by saying I was making our family one and thought she could use something she could put in her freezer because of the new baby - maybe she interpreted it as we had already eaten it and I was giving her our leftovers - I have no idea - I’d love to ask and it’s funny now but I was so hurt then as I thought I was doing something nice!

You reminded me of an incident when me and a few friends stayed in a villa in Ibiza and one of the girls insisted on making her special 'spag bol' for us. There hadn't been much eating going on on this holiday and this was going to be our one and only sit down meal together at the villa.
It took about 6 hours to make so we were completely ravenous by the time it was served, it was the most miserable, watery, practically meatless penne, I've had the misfortune to eat. I still think about it sometimes, like you, I don't really know why.

My best friend when I was a teen went on about her mum's homemade spaghetti bolognese.
One day she sat me down with a huge plate of it. It had those tinned mushrooms in it. Champignons? And peas..
People's idea of what is good food really differs.
I've enjoyed people's food tales actually, thanks OP.

House share at uni. One of my house mates really liked cooking. One weekend she randomly announced (and I forget the reasons why) that she was going to make our flat a tray of baclava. She kept saying that she really wanted to try making it. The weekend came around and she went to masses of trouble. The amount of attention to detail that went into production of the baclava and sourcing authentic ingredients from the local international supermarket was phenomenal. A whole day was spent in the kitchen making it. They looked amazing when they were finished. That evening we had a special flat dinner, and each had a few pieces of the baclava for pudding. They were just perfect - light, melt in your mouth deliciousness. After dinner, she left the tray on the kitchen side covered over.

When I came home from lectures the next day my baclava making house mate was in the kitchen. The baclava was still on the side and no more of it had been eaten since the previous night. I asked her if I could have another piece. There was masses of it left over. You could have fed a whole restaurant. To my surprise, she said no. I thought she might be joking for a split second then I realised that actually she was serious. OK I thought, maybe she’s saving them for something or someone else. It’s not my food anyway.

The next day I came back from lecturers and the baclava were still untouched on the kitchen side. Not a single one had been eaten since we’d all had some for our pudding. I asked my housemate if she was going to eat any more given they’d not been touched and were getting to be past their best and she said no. OK, I said, if you’re not going to eat any more of them can I have another piece please before they go off? And again she said no.

I went upstairs and just as I was going into my room I heard a thud. When I came back downstairs later I found she’d put the entire tray of them in our bin. Over a decade later and I’m still baffled by it.

King’s Lynn to Southwark - specific and funny.

East Anglia to London - informative and not funny.

To you

to me… neither funny

When did so many posters get so fucking miserable, on here ? And why do those posters feel compelled to post on lighthearted threads to ensure we all know how miserable they are?

If you’re so unimpressed just…don’t post?

this ”light hearted post” is bitching about a woman who made pasta bake 6 years ago. And it doesn’t even seem that the op paid her a penny. She think her friend paid. Although no one in the group ever discussed it (I’m guessing because no one would dream of bitching about someone who went to the effort of making a a dish and transporting it three hours across London)

I just don’t generally find bitching a source of humour. And it would seem many others on this thread think the same as me.

Everything about the way you have relayed this story shows your utter disdain for the woman and anyone else who you consider to be 'beneath' you and your 'elevated tastes'. It is also not light hearted or funny in any way. I'm afraid this post reveals a lot about who you are as a person and it doesn't look very pretty.

Then don't read the threads. Don't participate.

I think you're both a bit weird tbh. Making the food was nice. Reheating a pasta bake after three hours was a gross but perhaps naive idea. Grandstanding about it and demanding money takes the generosity away though. I'd be annoyed about that but I probably would have just politely declined and said oh I'm so sorry I misread the email and am fine with my food thanks. The insinuation about them not being from London is rude and wrong. I've lived in London, northern towns, country villages. I can always get decent food after dark. Did this really happen five years ago? The request for money feels more in fitting with today's food and energy prices. It'd have cost two quid to make back thrn!

Ok, this. Wow. Did you ever ask her why?!

I suspect there was something wrong with the Baclava (dodgy ingredient or poor hygiene in its making?). Otherwise, your flatmate was just plain spiteful and controlling?

I can believe that

Not finding something funny doesn’t mean you shouldn’t participate 😐

What a nice lighthearted thread to read. Thanks op for starting it.