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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be cheesed off about the pasta bake incident five years on

482 replies

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 11:22

This is as light hearted as it gets, I'm not actually fuming about this! I am interested in some perspectives though.

In 2017, five friends from East Anglia and I got an Airbnb in London so we could all go to a late night event nearby. I was the first to arrive (I live in London but was bunking in with them anyway) so I went to a supermarket and got a few bags of crisps, soft drinks and some small charcuterie type stuff - enough for everyone, but mainly because I like having this kind of stuff around while I'm getting ready to go out, so I paid for it myself. I figured the others could order delivery if they wanted anything bigger.

On my friends' group chat, I'd noticed a few references to a "pasta bake" and some requests for money over the past two weeks, but I'd skimmed over these.

When my friends turned up, one of the couples (who I barely knew) arrived with THE pasta bake. I was surprised as I thought it had been a joke - and practically speaking, it sort of was. There were two huge ceramic oven dishes full of the coldest, most wet and cheese-less penne bake I'd even seen, and they'd been sitting in the back of someone's car covered in foil for over three hours, all the way from Kings Lynn to Southwark. They were carried in with GREAT fanfare by the woman of the couple, who proceeded to re-heat this huge beige thing in the oven, and then ladle big, sad, stodgy bowls of it out to everyone (not what anyone wants to try to hold and shovel down while trying to put on makeup and get into a cocktail dress!!!). She talked about the cooking process and recipe too, as if we couldn't work it out. The way this woman went about it, you'd think she thought she'd rescued the whole night from disaster and starvation. I think I attempted to navigate my way around an undercooked piece of broccoli and watery pasta for a bit before hiding it in my room. It was honestly so bizarre to watch this performance happening while the rest of us were enjoying the vibe of getting ready to go to a quite expensive and elegant night out.

So far so bland. But the next morning, the woman went around telling everyone how much the ingredients (penne pasta, broccoli, not enough tomato sauce, and cheese In Name Only) had cost and calculating how much each person in the house owed them for the privilege of being involved in THE pasta bake. I honestly can't remember if I paid up or not - I think one of my mates who was closer to them paid for a few of us out of embarrassment.

This couple are divorced now, and I haven't seen the woman since the event. I've never brought it up with my friends, but I find myself thinking about this all the time. Was I being snotty about what was, in theory, a nice but misguided gesture? Am I overestimating how much small-towners know about food availability in Central London after dark? Or was this genuinely weird and off base?

OP posts:
Villssev · 27/03/2023 15:05

VWHoliday · 27/03/2023 14:01

I wouldn't have eaten it. I keep thinking of Susan's offerings in Desperate Housewives.

But her friends wouldn’t have bitched about her like this in a thread 6 years after!

WTFTwinings · 27/03/2023 15:06

I think my main mistake was using a big word like "charcuterie" when I should have said "pig bits" or something to avoid being accused of thinking I'm The Queen

I have no strong opinions on the whole pasta bake thing - we all remember odd things and return to them in quiet moments - but just taking time out of my busy liar schedule to appreciate 'pig bits' which I'm going to use every single time I need to refer to charcuterie from NOW.

I might even change my user name to pig bits.

VWHoliday · 27/03/2023 15:07

jenjenlinks · 27/03/2023 15:05

What accusation?

So you think about things from over a month ago but less than 5 years ago? And anyone who thinks about things from longer than that is weird? You're not making a lot of sense.

I was agreeing with you.

maxelly · 27/03/2023 15:08

SecondhandMuck · 27/03/2023 15:03

@maxelly, I weep for your poor Dad's white tux. I hope someone nipped home and got him a clean jumper Grin

He had to do a walk of shame home, I refused to take him in the now-ruined Fiesta, with chunks of tomato in his hair and red stains down his trousers. He returned, nearly late for his own party, wearing approved suburban-80s-Dad-at-a-party garb of jeans and a jazzy tie accessorized with an expression of the deepest melancholy at how his life, wife and children had turned out (I think for the best as in hindsight I'm sure he'd never have lived down the white DJ in any case!). Grin All forgiven - but certainly not forgotten - in the end!

VWHoliday · 27/03/2023 15:09

Odd Accusstion = Emotionally Invested

endoftheworldniteclub · 27/03/2023 15:10

@maxelly Best I’ve read in a long time. So well written. 😂 Your poor dad!!

jenjenlinks · 27/03/2023 15:17

VWHoliday · 27/03/2023 15:09

Odd Accusstion = Emotionally Invested

You are under the impression I "accused" someone of being emotionally invested?

Even though you actually quoted the post where I was asking another poster why THEY thought rhe OP was emotionally invested?

Are you ok?

Strugglingtodomybest · 27/03/2023 15:21

Oh dear

VWHoliday · 27/03/2023 15:26

jenjenlinks · 27/03/2023 15:17

You are under the impression I "accused" someone of being emotionally invested?

Even though you actually quoted the post where I was asking another poster why THEY thought rhe OP was emotionally invested?

Are you ok?

I have just said I was agreeing with you.

VWHoliday · 27/03/2023 15:27

@jenjenlinks I was agreeing with you.

I wish I'd not commented now.

AngryBirdsNoMore · 27/03/2023 15:47

EddieSteady · 26/03/2023 12:18

Yes you were snotty. And snobby. How dare someone make a pasta bake while you're getting into your cocktail dress and preparing for an elegant and expensive night out? The peasants! And 5 years after the non-event you're slagging them off on the Internet.

And being snippy and sarky with posters here. You think you're coming across as funny and lighthearted but you come across as just unpleasant.

Agree entirely.

dittbtdity · 27/03/2023 15:56

JackiePlace · 27/03/2023 13:39

Will someone please send me a nice pasta bake recipe that doesn't have garlic in it (or anchovies)?

www.inspiredtaste.net/40176/vegetable-baked-pasta/

Here's a recipe. If it has garlic or anchovies in it, leave them out 😂

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/03/2023 16:20

Ofcourseshecan · 27/03/2023 14:02

High Six to you all from here in Norfolk!

😁

😂😂😂

<snorts tea out of all three nostrils>

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 27/03/2023 17:20

Dangelis · 26/03/2023 12:23

I think my main mistake was using a big word like "charcuterie" when I should have said "pig bits" or something to avoid being accused of thinking I'm The Queen.

PIG BITS. I just did a cough-laugh

JackiePlace · 27/03/2023 17:31

dittbtdity · 27/03/2023 15:56

www.inspiredtaste.net/40176/vegetable-baked-pasta/

Here's a recipe. If it has garlic or anchovies in it, leave them out 😂

Thank you @dittbtdity

OneTC · 27/03/2023 17:31

demanded extra nutmeg on her Brandy Alexander so aggressively we were all asked to leave

😃

mrstrickland · 27/03/2023 17:39

What is wrong with people on Mumsnet? Are some of these people for real? picking apart your funny story and questioning why you said place names 😂 why? Its a funny story that popped into their head and they wanted to share. WHY does it need to be picked apart?

DeathstarDarling · 27/03/2023 18:08

As the victim of many appalling pasta bakes over the decades I have thoroughly enjoyed this thread. Thanks OP.

Emotionalsupportviper · 27/03/2023 18:20

maxelly · 27/03/2023 15:08

He had to do a walk of shame home, I refused to take him in the now-ruined Fiesta, with chunks of tomato in his hair and red stains down his trousers. He returned, nearly late for his own party, wearing approved suburban-80s-Dad-at-a-party garb of jeans and a jazzy tie accessorized with an expression of the deepest melancholy at how his life, wife and children had turned out (I think for the best as in hindsight I'm sure he'd never have lived down the white DJ in any case!). Grin All forgiven - but certainly not forgotten - in the end!

I need to know - was he the only one not wearing a white tux?

Were all the guests dressed like the sophisticates of his dreams?

Notamum12345577 · 27/03/2023 18:22

I just assumed you meant the Spa, as in the local shop 😁. I assume by your post that you wouldn’t be seen dead in one of them though would you? 🤣

Lovelyring · 27/03/2023 18:32

I think it was nice. I grew up with someone bringing a meal from home for the first night of a stay being normal. If it was a three hour journey, presumably they didn't want to then faff about hunting for food (and even in cities that's a pain with a group).

Plus you should have read the thread!

AliceOlive · 27/03/2023 19:04

Here’s a pasta recipe. It’s Mac and cheese, not a bake, because those are awful. It will also not save you any money if you take it to an airBnB, because it’s pricey to make. But it’s delicious.

https://barefootcontessa.com/recipes/mac-cheese

Mac & Cheese | Recipes

Mac & Cheese from Barefoot Contessa. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Drizzle oil into a large pot of boiling salted water. Add the macaroni and cook according to the directions on the package, 6 to 8 minutes. Drain well....

https://barefootcontessa.com/recipes/mac-cheese

Uokhon · 27/03/2023 19:32

I have two similar (I think worse!) stories and I'm not over them 5 years later either haha.

First one, I went to a 3 day hen party in which there were about 10 of us. ONE person was vegan, not even the hen, and someone decided to batch cook vegan food and charge us all. We didn't eat out the entire time we were away.

Another time, someone who is no longer a friend of mine came to visit. I was having major work done on my house so booked and paid for us both to stay in a local hotel. She picked up a cheap Aldi pizza and bottle of prosecco then had the cheek to ask me to contribute...

Uokhon · 27/03/2023 19:33

I have two similar (I think worse!) stories and I'm not over them 5 years later either haha.

First one, I went to a 3 day hen party in which there were about 10 of us. ONE person was vegan, not even the hen, and someone decided to batch cook vegan food and charge us all. We didn't eat out the entire time we were away.

Another time, someone who is no longer a friend of mine came to visit. I was having major work done on my house so booked and paid for us both to stay in a local hotel. She picked up a cheap Aldi pizza and bottle of prosecco then had the cheek to ask me to contribute...

Uokhon · 27/03/2023 19:35

I have two similar (I think worse!) stories and I'm not over them 5 years later either haha.

First one, I went to a 3 day hen party in which there were about 10 of us. ONE person was vegan, not even the hen, and someone decided to batch cook vegan food and charge us all. We didn't eat out the entire time we were away.

Another time, someone who is no longer a friend of mine came to visit. I was having major work done on my house so booked and paid for us both to stay in a local hotel. She picked up a cheap Aldi pizza and bottle of prosecco then had the cheek to ask me to contribute...