Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MNetters obsession with weight and dress size

331 replies

pagopago · 25/03/2023 21:11

Why are MN posters so obsessed with weight and dress size?

There have recently been quite a lot of weight related threads.

Depressing to see that women are still very much judged on appearance and body size. I couldn't care less what size you are or how much you weigh. Just be a decent, kind person.

No fat shaming or body shaming from me.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
TorringtonDean · 27/03/2023 09:06

We’ll get you lot with your disgust at fatties. Some of us have never been the correct size and still do need to eat. There is no chance I will ever be the correct BMI but I try to eat healthily and at present I am trying to shed weight. I don’t need someone slimmer judging me - it’s none of your business. I’m not taking food away from you, there is enough for everyone.

So much of this stuff about women’s bodies is still tied to the old days when appearance was everything because the more attractive you were the richer husband you might snare.

Luckily I can pay my own way. So I don’t need some control freak telling me he will leave me if I put on a pound or two. I work hard and I need some energy! I also feel very bad, sad, angry and weak if I don’t eat enough and I am not willing to suffer like that. It’s not healthy for me.

TorringtonDean · 27/03/2023 09:14

And BTW I’ve eaten plenty of Bran Flakes (or was it Special K?) in my life and can still pinch a good few inches!! Damn….they don’t seem to be working!

KimberleyClark · 27/03/2023 09:18

Oh god those Special K adverts. “Stay special” was the slogan I think.

TorringtonDean · 27/03/2023 09:25

And even as a young child my inner feminist always knew what message those ads were sending out: Be slim or you will be a worthless disgusting hag who no man will want to marry blah blah blah. I was NEVER willing to be pigeonholed like that!! Probably made me eat more in retaliation!

beguilingeyes · 27/03/2023 12:17

Crikeyalmighty · 26/03/2023 22:56

@DryIce very well put. Indeed I think we are expected now (even in 50s and early60s) to look like slightly more lined versions of the same we did at 30. Same I feel with sex, whereas it didn't seem to be a big deal 'if ' you were no longer that bothered post menopause , now you are made to feel it's abnormal and you should feel sexual ad infinitum.

So much this. When am I allowed to be an old bag? I blame Joan Collins. She pretty much started the glamorous older woman thing in Dynasty. Now we're all supposed to be at it
I thought I'd be in my Ena Sharples/Norah Barry stage by now.

beguilingeyes · 27/03/2023 12:21

Batty

Fakeplastictrees55 · 27/03/2023 12:23

I was told to cut out all treats, full stop. Not even a chocolate bar once a week. I was only trying to lose 2-3 kilos. I found that concerning that people deprive themselves to such an extent.
There's a very very fine line between clean eating and orthorexia.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/03/2023 12:38

EggyBreads · 26/03/2023 10:43

It's the demonisation of carbs that gets me. There was a thread once about pasta serving sizes and everyone was falling over themselves to state they couldn't even manage 50grams and anyone eating more was surely a big fatty. I don't know anyone in real life who competitively under-eats but it's definitely a thing on MN.

I find this seriously disturbing. That 1,000 calorie thread was one of the most shocking things I've read on the internet for years and I'm quite surprised it didn't get taken down.

1,000 calories a day and people were queuing up to tell her she was eating "too many carbs". And people thinking being slightly overweight is a problem.

Fakeplastictrees55 · 27/03/2023 12:41

I will admit I'm a bit obsessed about my weight. I'm 59.5kg at 168cm so a very healthy weight, I don't let it get anything over that. I've always been a size 8 and the thought of being any heavier makes me feel ill. It's my problem I know, nobody elses. I do find there is a lot of disordered eating disguised as clean/healthy eating. People shouldn't be afraid of carbs or sugar in moderation.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/03/2023 12:55

Fakeplastictrees55 · 27/03/2023 12:41

I will admit I'm a bit obsessed about my weight. I'm 59.5kg at 168cm so a very healthy weight, I don't let it get anything over that. I've always been a size 8 and the thought of being any heavier makes me feel ill. It's my problem I know, nobody elses. I do find there is a lot of disordered eating disguised as clean/healthy eating. People shouldn't be afraid of carbs or sugar in moderation.

It is very much your problem, yes, and you're honest enough to admit it, for which you deserve credit.

The problem is when this sort of eating is presented as being important to avoid obesity, followed by a long screed about how much it is costing the NHS.

If people are obsessed with remaining under 8 stone or whatever it is I can't stop them or influence them. They can plough their own disordered eating furrow under the guise of "clean eating" or "living my best life" or whatever figleaf they chose. It's a free country even for people with eating disorders.

But they don't get to trumpet their "healthy eating" credentials and tell the rest of us that we're costing the NHS money. And in my view Mumsnet ought to be tougher about policing this competitive pro ana stuff. There was a particularly nasty thread which got taken down last night but still far too much of this for what is meant to be a mainstream website.

AutisticLegoLover · 27/03/2023 14:27

@UpperLowerMiddleClass that thread is hilarious and is Peak mumsnet diet police 🤣

Verv · 27/03/2023 14:42

LolaSmiles · 25/03/2023 22:17

I don't think Mumsnet is any more bothered about weight or food than the rest of the population.

I've never worked in a workplace where people weren't on various diets or talking about their health kicks.

Rest of the female population.

Men don't declare half a tin of soup to be "too much" or say that they "couldn't eat all that" at the sight of a bowl of pasta or vow not to eat the next day because they've had fish and chips.

ReneBumsWombats · 27/03/2023 15:04

UpperLowerMiddleClass · 27/03/2023 14:14

The anti-carb police, along with the high protein lobby, are at it again!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4772209-why-am-i-hungry-aaalllll-the-time

I had a look at the OP. Am I wrong to think the problem is that she needs more protein?

lljkk · 27/03/2023 15:10

Men don't <worry about what they ate & their weight>

Except John Prescott.
Oh and Elton John. Zayn Malik. Ed Sheeran. Tom Watson. Russell Brand, Dennis Quaid...

UpperLowerMiddleClass · 27/03/2023 15:14

@ReneBumsWombats Who knows? Maybe she does need more protein, maybe she doesn’t. The OP doesn’t mention portion sizes at all and part of my point is that - regardless of not knowing vital details like portion sizes - so many posters confidently reply saying ‘less carbs, more protein’. Which makes me think it’s their stock repose to any food/diet related thread.

For what it’s worth I find carbs much more filling than protein. I can eat a decent sided lunch of eg salmon and vegetables and guaranteed I will feel hungry within a couple of hours. But if I can eat a sandwich with pretty much any filling I feel full a lot longer.

PrettyMaybug · 27/03/2023 19:27

lljkk · 27/03/2023 15:10

Men don't <worry about what they ate & their weight>

Except John Prescott.
Oh and Elton John. Zayn Malik. Ed Sheeran. Tom Watson. Russell Brand, Dennis Quaid...

I have to agree. It's nonsense that men don't worry about their weight and what they eat. Just because the dieting/beauty industry seems to be aimed more at women, that doesn't mean that MEN don't care about how they look/their weight/their body.

The gyms are full of men, most sporty-cyclists are men, and men diet too, and have eating disorders. I know a man who I am close to in my life who has always worried about his body/being fat... He has had an eating disorder since his mid teens. (Now middle aged.) He was a chubby teenager who was bullied, and he went on a crash diet at 16, and ran 20 miles a week, and he lost 4 stone in 4-5 months.

He has been on one yo-yo diet after another for 35 years. He loses about 3 stone in 4 months about every 5 years, then he regains it over about 6-7 months (plus another half a stone.) Every. Single. Time. He constantly justifies what he eats, and when he's on a 'diet,' he judges what everyone else eats, and comments on how 'greedy' they are. Then he spends 5-6 months eating as much as 2 or 3 people would eat... and regains all the weight + another half a stone. Awful. He is very irritating when he is 'dieting' but he can't help it. (He doesn't crash diet now, but he does eat very little - sometimes 900 calories a day on his diets.)

So yeah, MEN worry about their weight, and get eating disorders too.

Rainbowsandbutterflies1990 · 27/03/2023 21:41

Fakeplastictrees55 · 27/03/2023 12:41

I will admit I'm a bit obsessed about my weight. I'm 59.5kg at 168cm so a very healthy weight, I don't let it get anything over that. I've always been a size 8 and the thought of being any heavier makes me feel ill. It's my problem I know, nobody elses. I do find there is a lot of disordered eating disguised as clean/healthy eating. People shouldn't be afraid of carbs or sugar in moderation.

I admire u for admiting it. My massive problem with this is ur disordered eating is very normalised and my disordered eating is vilified. And I'm seen as awful and lazy and Terrible person for potentially costing the NHS money by having overeating and u are seen an normal and aspiring by under eating. I have had periods of binge eating disorder., not at moment thou and I've always said I wish I had anorexia or bulimia as I would be seen as genuinely ill. BED is not even a known eating disorder. I had personal trainer during a bad period and she didn't even know about it.

Tiddler39 · 28/03/2023 10:46

ReneBumsWombats · 26/03/2023 16:14

Don't worry, it's not happening. No proper nutritionist would tell a serious, six times a week swimmer to live on 1000 calories a day and no serious, six times a week swimmer could maintain their regime on it. Hell, nobody like that who wanted to make a point of it would have waited so long to tell us! That's the problem with "seat of your pants" characterisation.

But that one did actually make me laugh, so thanks, "Bella". That's what I was after.

Why the hell has @MNHQ not taken this thread down?

It’s the nastiest thing I’ve read in ages.

Plock · 28/03/2023 10:49

Tiddler39 · 28/03/2023 10:46

Why the hell has @MNHQ not taken this thread down?

It’s the nastiest thing I’ve read in ages.

Really? Nastier than the 13 stone thread? Nastier than the thread stating the only way to look good was to lose weight?

Iusedtobedontcall · 28/03/2023 11:07

The 13 stone thread was horrible. It’s what I weigh now after a TFMR and a miscarriage in the past nine months left me 2 stone heavier. I’m working hard on my recovery and eating well - but now I know people think I look disgusting.

Rebel2 · 28/03/2023 11:31

Weight is weird
According to someone on this thread I am clearly no more than 12 stone, despite posting my actual weight
If I was 12 stone I would say it, but I have nothing to gain by saying I'm 17 stone which is my actual weight
It's like people can't look different at different weights

DerekFaker · 28/03/2023 11:33

Tiddler39 · 28/03/2023 10:46

Why the hell has @MNHQ not taken this thread down?

It’s the nastiest thing I’ve read in ages.

What's nasty about it? Pointing out lies and dangerous advice/attitudes towards weight is good imo.

ReneBumsWombats · 28/03/2023 11:43

Tiddler39 · 28/03/2023 10:46

Why the hell has @MNHQ not taken this thread down?

It’s the nastiest thing I’ve read in ages.

Are you new here?

KimberleyClark · 28/03/2023 11:48

Rebel2 · 28/03/2023 11:31

Weight is weird
According to someone on this thread I am clearly no more than 12 stone, despite posting my actual weight
If I was 12 stone I would say it, but I have nothing to gain by saying I'm 17 stone which is my actual weight
It's like people can't look different at different weights

And people of the same height and weight can look quite different and even be different sizes depending on build size, fat distribution, body composition and body shape.