Wedding evening do tonight & covid dilemma

[Valerie65]

So, we're supposed to be going to an evening wedding do tonight. No issue with it just being the evening do, this was the norm when we got married in the 80's. But I was in very close contact with someone on Thursday night. She tested negative yesterday but positive this morning. She says I wouldn't get it from her as she was positive only this morning. I'm starting to feel a bit under the weather too, but not ill enough to stay at home & miss the do tonight.
If I test negative later today do you think it's fair that we still go tonight? I know we have to live with it these days & just crack on with it, but we should still protect each other, not sure what to do. The grooms mother is vulnerable if she gets it & she's a very close friend of mine, we'll no doubt be sitting with my husbands elderly aunt & uncle too, its a dilemma

I wouldnt go. A family member recently died from covid and I still have awful symptoms that are not going away from covid. Symptoms that I never had with any of the colds and flu I've had in my life...

FFS don’t go…it doesn’t matter if the other guests could catch it from anyone anywhere, from people who aren’t testing etc…you have definitely been in close contact with it, you’re already feeling a bit under the weather, and a negative test means nothing at this early stage! Your friend is also likely to have been infectious before her positive test,no matter what she’d like to think. Read posts by @Ketchupwee above to see how the thoughtlessness of 1 guest can impact others and cast a shadow over someone’s special memories. Oh and you’re an evening-only invite so literally nobody will be inconvenienced or out of pocket if you’re not there. The happy couple might not have time to reply to your “apologies we can’t come” text on their big day but I’m sure afterwards, they’ll be very glad you didn’t turn up. Do the right thing!!

I was still testing negative when I infected my 85 year old parents who went on to become very seriously ill though both survived. The guilt was intense. Don't do that to yourself or your vulnerable friends.

Replace the word ‘Covid’ with ‘sickness bug’:

My friend has gone down with a D&V bug and I saw her while she would gave been infectious. I’m now feeling nauseous. Should I go to a large event where there are frail elderly people present?

If your answer is ‘yes, I would go in those circumstances’, then go. If the answer is ‘no, I wouldn’t risk it’ then don’t.

Just take the emotive political word ‘Covid’ out of it and consider it in the context of a different highly transmissible illness that might be more severe to others than to yourself.

You can’t believe that someone who is going to be in contact with someone vulnerable is considering testing for a contagious illness?

How bizarre.

It's not a cold though for everyone, I wish people would stop saying that. Covid the first time round last Summer left me having to use a walking stick . I can't drive and walk everywhere. I honestly thought I'd never walk again properly, but with time I have . A cold has never left me like that.
I had covid last week for the 2nd time ( along with my daughter). Thankfully not as bad this time. I cancelled plans with family, because my mum is vulnerable and has been in hospital recently.

I’d go but only if you feel well enough. People are determined to stay stuck in 2020 and seem to have forgotten about the multiple highly effective vaccines that have considerably lessened the risks to the vulnerable. If you don’t feel well though don’t go. Back to pre 2020 common sense rules

Can you live with yourself if you go and the vulnerable person suffers badly/even dies?

Don’t go.

Because it's not a minor illness or cold for everyone?
I've never had anti virals for a cold, or been put on the virtual covid ward for monitoring, it's never left me exhausted for weeks after, with a high temp and struggling to breathe

You are still meant to avoid vulnerable people, you wouldn't wander onto a ward of people having chemo with norovirus or a cold

If it's so minor why are we still having to test before going in to hospital for any treatment? I've had to test 72 hours before then isolate then test again before going onto the ward for a steroid injection......it's not minor it still can kill.

Opposite way round for me, I’ve had terrible post viral fatigue for weeks and weeks after a cold, but was fine after Covid. Probably because with Covid I took it easy but with the cold I was in the mindset I should be back to normal and did too much too soon. My brain still tells me I’m young but my immune system begs to differ.

I just can't believe that people are STILL testing for a minor illness.....

please don't post such unadulterated crap. You must be one of those totally selfish self absorbed halfwits who think you have the right to go about infecting other people. You are ignorant and stupid.

Covid can be very very nasty, it can still kill people - just because it's been around for a while doesn't mean it's safe. My sister - not vulnerable, vaccinated - is still recovering from covid she had several month ago which made her very ill, she's also had to deal with a lot of complications from having the virus.

Pre 2020 common sense rules absolutely we’re not “if you think you’re harbouring a contagious illness and are going to be with vulnerable people just don’t give a fuck”.

as the mum of someone very vulnerable I can confidently say that pre-2020 people were actually more considerate of vulnerable people than they are now. Now people are solely focussed on themselves and don’t feel the need to consider others at all

I'm not even going to waste any time responding to @Hbh17 having seen her many posts previously.

Under the circumstances described I wouldn't go.

If you feel ill don’t go. Otherwise I would go - life needs to go on. I haven’t tested since you had to pay for it.

Masks don't remotely stop spread, and sure voukdnt survive the entire night not eating or drinking etc

This is excellent advice.

OP, I caught Covid not long ago from someone who dragged themselves to a social, even though they weren’t feeling well. 5 other people caught Covid that night too. I doubt any us appreciate her presence!

(and I know we can, and do, catch it anywhere. But if there is a chance to avoid passing it on, why wouldn’t you?).

I feel very guilty because I was coughing a lot Thurs morning but went to the GP and shop anyway
as I felt ok. By Thurs pm I felt awful and tested neg. Friday morning still felt awful and tested pos.

Where are people getting the tests from? I haven't seen any for sale in months. Dh was tested at work but it's a school. He had to go back on day 5 regardless of the result or how he felt in himself. So on that basis, I'm not sure why anyone tests unless your booked into hospital for example. It's also been fine to mix freely with a positive case at home. On that basis alone, isolation with never getting a positive result seems pointless. If you feel ill, stay home ( if you can- see above my dh would be recalled at work). It's not as simple as it used to be.

@IncessantNameChanger I'm a teacher so have tests left over.
Schools seem to approach it differently now. I wasn't expected back on day 5 . I was still positive then.

I work in a hospital and we can work with covid symptoms. We only stay off if we feel too unwell too work and are advised to wear a mask if we’re not 100%. In a meeting the other day a guy had a cold and as he walked in he popped a mask on as he was next to a pregnant lady. I’m always surprised people are still testing. We ran out of tests months ago and I really was rule abiding throughout but now treat it like I would if I had flu.

but now treat it like I would if I had flu.

Surely treating it like flu would include not going to a wedding reception and sitting next to the groom’s vulnerable mother though?

Thats the bit people seem to be missing. Take out the covid in the OP and replace it with flu/chicken pox/measles/d&v and surely people wouldn’t risk it.

The mention of covid blinds some people to the sensibilities that would be applied to other contagious things.

My DM is having some building work done.

The builders are usually outside with all communication through the head engineer guy. One day, they were inside the house laying a pipe through. I popped over later in the day and stood in the same room talking to DM (not the builders - they'd left by that point). The room is in the middle of the house and has no windows.

Within a couple of days my DM and stepdad both came down with COVID. Myself, DP and my two DC caught COVID. The bathroom fitter (separate from the building team) caught COVID. Our main builder (who is starting work in about 2-3 months time but popped in to measure up) also caught COVID.

My point is that I was stupidly shocked at how infectious COVID really is. All of us who went into that room at some point during the day went down with the virus even though only DM and stepdad had contact with the builders (who we think must be the transmission point - they're staying in local hotels so fairly exposed).

DM was admitted to hospital and had a really rough time of it, thankfully pulled through. Stepdad needed emergency care but managed to just about stay out of hospital. DP and DD were pretty poorly. Bathroom fitter and builder were both off sick and laid up in bed. Me and DS barely registered any symptoms other than sniffles and being tired.

It's a bloody weird virus - and made my DM very, very unwell. I was scared she wouldn't get back out of hospital. But I've never known a D&V bug or a cold take out literally every single person in the room. COVID really is incredibly contagious.