Wedding evening do tonight & covid dilemma

[Valerie65]

So, we're supposed to be going to an evening wedding do tonight. No issue with it just being the evening do, this was the norm when we got married in the 80's. But I was in very close contact with someone on Thursday night. She tested negative yesterday but positive this morning. She says I wouldn't get it from her as she was positive only this morning. I'm starting to feel a bit under the weather too, but not ill enough to stay at home & miss the do tonight.
If I test negative later today do you think it's fair that we still go tonight? I know we have to live with it these days & just crack on with it, but we should still protect each other, not sure what to do. The grooms mother is vulnerable if she gets it & she's a very close friend of mine, we'll no doubt be sitting with my husbands elderly aunt & uncle too, its a dilemma

Even in the situation where you were specifically going to be with vulnerable people and you know that your ‘under the weather’ is likely brewing the thing you’ve been in contact with?

And people wonder how noro/d&v/chicken pox etc just spread round quickly… And wonder why those with vulnerabilities are so cautious.

When? Now? During their wedding?

Don't go. It's not worth it.

It was just a thought and it was this morning, before the wedding. Ok stupid thought.

I’d hope you’d at least give the vulnerable people you’d be in contact with a heads up. Let them make the choice for themselves at least.

I was just throwing an idea out there.

Do you speak to people like that in real life?

We’re not taking about generally going out in public. We’re talking about sitting in close proximity to people you know well, and who you know are vulnerable, at a wedding when you know are under the weather.

And that is exactly why people who are vulnerable are still having to be extra cautious because post covid even people the could reasonably expect to give them a heads up wouldn’t, in cases like yourself, bother.

Yes your responsibility. Vulnerable people have no choice but to go some places. Shops, hospitals, schools... and although a wedding isn't a 'have to', it is an important event in the bride and groom's life which everyone knows is almost certain to involve elderly and/or vulnerable people.
This is what living in a society means. You take basic responsibility for at the very least alerting others that you know are vulnerable if you are likely carrying an illness that is still, to many, deadly so they can make an informed choice. It's the basic middle ground between 'isolate' and 'spread germs far and wide'. Covid is not a cold for many. It can and does kill and has been clearly shown to lead to increased risk of neurological, endocrine and cardiac disorders. Ffs. Basic compassion and decency.

Send apologies and stay away. This is because you feel ill and no a recent contact has went on to test positive. You know this is the only right and decent thing to do.

It is a social event an evening wedding reception not a mercy dash to the supermarket with a mask because you are a single parent and you have no food in the house whatsoever to feed you or your young children etc.

I’ve been saying for ages people give less of a shit about giving someone a heads up now.

my vulnerable DD has been exposed (knowingly) to chicken pox, d&v and covid all on the basis that no-one else is apparently responsible for anything and “life must go on”.

yet people who still take precautions are OTT & ridiculous.

This is real life. And yes, if someone I knew was thinking about contacting a bride or groom on their wedding about a matter like this I would definitely tell them it was a terrible idea.

The thing is, I’ve already said it was just a suggestion, it was made this morning before the wedding. I’ve responded to so many people saying I appreciate it wasn’t a good idea. So I am quite surprised that in real life you would go on to shout at someone that it was a ridiculous idea.

By in real life, I mean face to face. That’s a common way of describing it.

You probably have covid - your friend was almost certainly infectious before the positive test and you're not feeling well. You are probably going to be sitting next to more than one old person. Do you have any empathy or community spirit? I mean it takes a special person to contemplate with equanimity the risk of killing off your husband's elderly relatives and your close friend, the groom's mother, because you don't want to miss an evening wedding reception. I mean you could hit the trifecta with all three.

If you have to ask the question, you shouldn't be going. Do the responsible thing and stay at home.

I caught it in November (second time) from our
First night out post covid. Ironically enough. It spread like wildfire round the party we were at. Probably 90 percent came down with it. I'm in between a diagnosis for either lupus or long covid and wouldn't wish what I'm going through on anyone.

Where have I said or even suggested I’d shout at someone? If you’re talking about the capital letters for emphasis in one small part of my post then you’re really taking a comment on a public forum far too personally.

There’s nothing hysterical or “covid crazy” in staying that knowingly sitting with a person you know is vulnerable when you know you are ill and not even bothering to give them a heads up is a shitty (actually vile) thing to do.

Especially when you’ve made clear that you’d do it with any contagious illness, not just covid.

That is why vulnerable people have to be super cautious because other dickheads don’t even have the manners to say “I’m not well Mary, I’m going to stay away from you”.

@LondonPretty Bob being an annoying drunk and Jason not washing his hands after going to the bathroom, is pretty low risk for causing serious health issues, or death, to the grooms mother though.