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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wedding evening do tonight & covid dilemma

119 replies

Valerie65 · 25/03/2023 09:41

So, we're supposed to be going to an evening wedding do tonight. No issue with it just being the evening do, this was the norm when we got married in the 80's. But I was in very close contact with someone on Thursday night. She tested negative yesterday but positive this morning. She says I wouldn't get it from her as she was positive only this morning. I'm starting to feel a bit under the weather too, but not ill enough to stay at home & miss the do tonight.
If I test negative later today do you think it's fair that we still go tonight? I know we have to live with it these days & just crack on with it, but we should still protect each other, not sure what to do. The grooms mother is vulnerable if she gets it & she's a very close friend of mine, we'll no doubt be sitting with my husbands elderly aunt & uncle too, its a dilemma

OP posts:
Icequeen01 · 25/03/2023 09:44

I know lots will disagree with me but if you are going to be sitting next to vulnerable people then personally I wouldn't go. Imagine how you will feel if you hear they have caught Covid a few days later.

tanstaafl · 25/03/2023 09:46

Why are you asking here?
If the grooms mother catches it and really suffers, will you absolve yourself by saying ‘but Mumsnet said I should go’?

Octonaut4Life · 25/03/2023 09:47

It doesn't even matter whether it's COVID or not, if you're feeling under the weather then don't go and spread whatever germs you do have!

StripyHorse · 25/03/2023 09:48

I worked for a contact tracing team. We went back 2 days before symptoms / positive test (the earliest of these) as that was considered the infectious period. You could have caught it from your friend.

I know people don't need to isolate with covid, and certainly not as contacts but in your circumstances (contact and starting to feel unwell) I wouldn't go, especially as the mum is vulnerable. Plus the bride and groom won't want to develop covid on their honeymoon.

Rhondaa · 25/03/2023 09:50

I've no idea why people are still testing. Treat it like a cold, if you have symptoms amd feel unwell stay at home. If not go.

Valerie65 · 25/03/2023 10:06

@tanstaafl no need to be so snippy, there's always one! I'm starting to feel a bit under the weather but don't even have a cold yet, or any other symptoms. I'm asking what the right thing to do is if I test negative. We don't isolate or test much nowadays & there are probably a lot of people mixing all over the place unaware they have covid.

OP posts:
Runnerduck34 · 25/03/2023 10:16

Buy a test, of its negative then you go, if its positive then don't.
Officially you don't need to isolate now, but I think I would do if I tested positive.
But isolating in case you've caught is not the official medical advice right now.
Bet the bar staff, waiting staff etc wouldn't be isolating and losing paid work for the night in your situation.
I think we now have to treat covid like any other illness, if you feel ill or you know you are positive/ infectious stay home if not continue as normal.

Silvers11 · 25/03/2023 11:00

I think the fact that you are starting to feel unwell, even if your test later today is negative and given what you have said about you have been in contact with someone a couple of days ago who has Covid and about elderly and vulnerable people being there I wouldn't go. Imagine how you would feel if one of them got Covid badly - especially the bride or the groom if they are going on honeymoon

I caught it very recently from a friend. I had a day of dreadful tiredness, thought I had been overdoing things (I'd been at a funeral and travelling for hours there and back) and the barest sniffle for a couple of days after that, really hardly noticeable and I only tested because she told me she was positive. Was astounded to discover I had Covid. But OH was really quite unwell for a couple of weeks

You do not NEED to isolate, but the guidance is still that if you have symptoms of a respiratory disease and are feeling unwell ( particularly if you have a temperature) you should try to stay at home if you can

WeCome1 · 25/03/2023 11:01

Would it help if you ask the bride/groom to ask the vulnerable people what they think?

Darkstar4855 · 25/03/2023 11:08

Your friend would have been infectious before testing positive, as will you be if you’ve caught it. A negative test is meaningless in this scenario.

jenjenlinks · 25/03/2023 11:08

WeCome1 · 25/03/2023 11:01

Would it help if you ask the bride/groom to ask the vulnerable people what they think?

No, it would not.

piedbeauty · 25/03/2023 11:11

Of course you can catch Covid from your friend! You saw her Thursday so you could test positive in the next week!!

I wouldn't go, especially if you are feeling ill.

SeaToSki · 25/03/2023 11:14

Can you wear a proper mask and still go? If you are still negative of course. Then if it is just a cold, you are not spreading that either.

slowquickstep · 25/03/2023 11:19

I think you know you probably have Covid and want MN to tell you it is ok to go even though you know you shouldn't. You wouldn't go if you had winter flu or D&V so why should you go if you may have Covid ?

jenjenlinks · 25/03/2023 11:30

WeCome1 · 25/03/2023 11:01

Would it help if you ask the bride/groom to ask the vulnerable people what they think?

I've already said no, but I'm still boggling at the question. Are you seriously suggesting that OP should call the bride and/or groom, on their wedding day, to ask them to go find their vulnerable relatives and put them on the spot about whether they are happy about someone who may or may not have covid sitting next to them this evening?

I mean...really?

Sortinshit23 · 25/03/2023 11:32

Stop testing and go if you feel well enough. We don't even have tests anymore.

Silvers11 · 25/03/2023 11:33

Darkstar4855 · 25/03/2023 11:08

Your friend would have been infectious before testing positive, as will you be if you’ve caught it. A negative test is meaningless in this scenario.

Agree with this! A negative test in this scenario is definitely meaningless. @Valerie65 you are starting to feel unwell. Please don't be selfish and just go anyway

CC4712 · 25/03/2023 11:36

I'm asking what the right thing to do is if I test negative.

Regardless if its negative- if you are feeling under the weather- then don't share your bugs around! I can't believe people need to ask what to do when unwell! 🙄

mamnotmum · 25/03/2023 11:39

I'd go if I felt well enough. I wouldn't test as won't pay for tests.

LondonPretty · 25/03/2023 11:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/03/2023 12:00

Personally, I wouldn’t go.

bananaboats · 25/03/2023 12:18

If I was feeling well enough i would go. the same as I would with any other illness. Im not testing anymore so wouldn't know if it was covid or not.

Sortinshit23 · 25/03/2023 12:30

Just had to check the date on this thread!

smashinggrapes · 25/03/2023 12:31

Ask the bride 🤣🤣🤣 Jesus. People really are socially inept.

Scarlettpixie · 25/03/2023 12:40

I wouldn’t go. I know people say treat it like a cold but it isn’t a cold.

If a vulnerable guest died, how would you feel?