Neighbour has told our village I am a thief

[crazyneighbour123]

NC as obviously outing

Last night around 8:30pm a delivery driver asked me to take a parcel for a neighbour a few doors down and said he had knocked my door as my gate was open (all houses on my street have a gate and a pathway to the front door, roughly 20meters). The parcel was 2ft high and 2ft wide and heavy so I managed to push it along my hallway out of the way.

Here is the issue. At 6:50am there was banging and when I say banging I mean banging on my front door. I ran downstairs worried something was wrong and hoping it wouldn’t wake the whole house up.

It was my male neighbour who is in his 40s who didn’t bother to say hello only said where is my parcel. I explained it come last night let me get it. As I was pushing it down the hallway towards the door he said ‘ no need to be so dramatic there’s no need to pretend it’s too heavy that’s why you didn’t bother to bring it over last night, you just could not be bothered’ . I was shocked and just said how he wasn’t in thats why the deliver drive gave me the parcel and it is heavy. He then said he was in but was having his dinner and it was raining so didn’t answer the door and I should have had some respect and done the polite thing and taken the parcel to him. I started laughing as I thought he was joking. He then tried picking it up and realised how heavy it was and how far he had to go with it told me the least I can do is help him carry it back to his house I laughed and said I couldn’t. He then called me a waste of space. I then told him ‘ I hope there’s weights in that box cause you bloody well need them’ and shut the door.

He has now posted on the village Facebook (I know social media is the root of all evil) and has bad mouthed me and called me a thief and a chav and that everyone should be careful around me as I will try and take their deliveries to keep for myself. This is not true and unluckily for him I have this all recorded on the ring doorbell. You can hear us both word for word and see how angry he is in the video. Question is would I be unreasonable to post it onto the village Facebook group or should I just send it privately to the main admin person. My only issue with sending it privately which is the more mature option is the main admin owner walks her dogs with him so not sure if she would fully make the other members of the group aware of what actually happened? I could just try the private route first but it’s making me feel awkward going out today that everyone in the village thinks I’m a thief.

YANBU - post it on the Facebook group so the whole village will know the truth

YABU - send it only to the admin privately and hope she does the right thing

Post a reply saying the delivery man asked me to take it as you weren't in - but seems you were and in your own words as recorded by ring doorbell - you cba to answer your door

You would have got a note saying it was at mine so you knew I didn't steal it - only tried to help you - which I won't be doing in future

Oh crossed posts. Wasn't showing your last reply

If I read a post slagging you off for not bringing a parcel over when you’ve been good enough to take it in, I’d think the poster was a massive prick. So will most people!!

This is what I love about Mumsnet! Posters who are far more witty than me!

@crazyneighbour123 you’ve done the right thing, called him out in a dignified manner. Just sit back and make no further comment, keep the moral high ground.

Of course if he persists with his lies you post the video footage along with a comment about possibly needing to get himself to the GP for a dementia check up. Accompanied by some suitable passive aggressive emojis.

If he comes back with a comment disputing your version and slags you off more, write a succinct one line saying: 'You are persisting in defaming my character and I will be seeking legal advice.' You don't have to - just make him think you are and more importantly it will make everyone else in the group aware. Then message the admin and say they are colluding in the defamation and they need to take it all down.

Perfect response.
You came across with integrity and logic.
I can't believe how batshit he is.

I would take it to local police and ask THEM to take it up with the idiot and with FB moderator.

That’s far too grown up and sensible.

Bring in the glitter bombs.

He sounds unhinged! Knocking on someone’s door and giving them abuse before 7 in the morning is so wrong!

if I take in someone’s parcel I don’t deliver it to the correct neighbour, I’m doing them a favour by taking their parcel in , it’s their job to come collect it so you did nothing wrong.

This definately

I don't think you should engage with him any further. I would however approach the admin and explain the situation to them

He’s publicly accused you of a crime so it would be entirely reasonable to post evidence which refutes this to the same audience. Nobody with a brain would view this as an invasion of HIS privacy!

If you don’t receive an apology but are too worried to upload the footage (again, I absolutely would upload it - you’ve been accused of a crime and have evidence to the contrary) remember that you can always type out a transcript of exactly what was said, along with ‘You’ve made a serious allegation about my character and I want people know it is entirely untrue. Please could you acknowledge your mistake otherwise I’ll share the footage to remove all doubt.’

i would reply to his post, copy paste what you wrote here and say if anyone wants evidence you will post the ring footage.

Write in the group that you want a public apology from him with the same audience about the lies he has told.

And then make a sock-puppet account and ask for evidence, and then post it.
Because that is reputation damaging.

Put a big sign on your door that you don't accept parcels for him, and post that in the group too.

write a sincere apology card and fill it with glitter.

Also, OP, I'd contact the admins of the village fb page and ask them to put the settings so they have to approve posts before they appear, and that if something like this gets past them again they will be partially liable for spreading the slander (as pp posted above)

Actually just reading the original post and wondering if perhaps this is a police matter as he's a used you of a crime?

This for me !

what a vile man !

“Post the video” is the new “cancel the cheque” 😜

Post it.

Ha. Yep definitely tired and grumpy.

You could comment and ask if he’d like to retract his statement, or would he prefer you to take your Ring doorbell evidence to your solicitor?

@crazyneighbour123 - that was a perfect reply. If I were you, I would also take a screenshot of his post and your reply in case there are further problems and you need to report it to the police, or take further action if he doesn't apologise, so that you have the evidence should you need it. Hopefully you won't, but it would be sensible to have it, in case he deletes the thread and yu do need it somewhere down the line?

How do you explain the 20% that don't?

Is it because the algorithms aren't putting it in their news feeds?

I’d post it on the Facebook page it sounds like he was a total knob!

😂

You are right.

I feel ashamed of my judgemental assumption.

Please forgive me.

😂