AIBU to turn down council property?

[worldcupfan]

NC.

After 10 years and four rejections. We have been shortlisted to view a council property. The property seems good to be true, not too far from DC's school, local shops, food transport links (where DC can travel to school) the monthly rent is quarter of my overall salary (which would mean we will managing decently) and the rooms are spacious. Also! DC will have his first proper room. We currently live in a 1 bedroom flat.DC has my room and I sleep in the living room.

But! It's not a ground floor. It's on the first floor. DC is 12, has "high functioning Autism" but has severe horrendous meltdowns, he will shout, cry, scream, jump up and down. We are getting help with this and I have hired private cognitive therapy, have a specialist who will be working with me in the home to manage DC's meltdowns. But I am so worried about disturbing the new neighbours below us. In my current place, it's like I'm having to walk on eggshells as I'm managing to prevent DC's meltdowns so that the neighbours don't complain- but also feel that I can never relax in my home and feel that I'm constantly walking on eggshells to prevent DC's meltdowns. Sadly, it looks like I will have to decline the offer but my friends and family are telling me that I'm crazy. What should I do?

Not really, social/council housing have more of a duty towards their tenants and ethos of community building. Sure, there are bad social housing providers or tenants who fall through the cracks, but there is greater pressure on them to improve. OP would be able to apply for mutual exchanges or to be rehoused if it wasn't found to be suitable. She'll be in a far better position than staying in her private rental. There's no reason to think she'd be stuck there permanently.

Just to give an update.

I was shortlisted for the property which meant that it wasn't 100% guaranteed that I will get it. I went to view the property and it is very spacious but I was not keen on the layout (terrace flat with three floors so you have to climb each stair case to get to a room and the bathroom was a bit small). I accepted it but a few days later was told that the first person accepted the property and I was outbid.

Well to my surprise, I received a telephone call this morning. It was to say that the person declined the flat and whether I still wanted the property. I said I have decided to accept it. I am so happy but scared. We have been waiting for 10 years and I have huge concerns of my child's behaviour and don't know how I will manage, even with the new neighbours. But I can do it. I wanted to take the risk and take it anyway.

Please if anyone has any recommendations for flooring- please signpost this way. The flat would not be ready for the next two/three months or so due to repairs- so I will have time to save. Thank you everyone for your contributions.

Good luck OP. It clearly is meant for you! Lovely update.

Take the flat. Put your own family first for a change

Congratulations, what a lovely update. Enjoy your new home :)

Congratulations. Soundproofing is very difficult, could be very expensive and still might fail in a converted property. You say they are lots of stairs, is there one room that doesn't have neighbours underneath/above? I would be thinking about the thickest carpet and underlay you can afford and then rugs on top, thick interlined curtains and as much sound absorbing fabric (wall hangings etc.) as you can afford, even if you only do one or two rooms like this. Worth speaking to local carpet places, explaining your situation to see if they have off-cuts that might work for single rooms. Ikea even do sound absorbing products now: https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/cat/noise-reducing-products-46077/
I feel for you as I also have a child with ASD and remember how difficult it was when I was in a terrace. However, things have improved with age and my child now knows that when he is going to meltdown he takes himself off to his room.

@Grimbelina

Thank you. To be fair, only the landing (where you enter into the flat) is only beneath the neighbours. It's only when I go up each floor is where I will enter the rest of the rooms (bathroom, bedrooms, living room etc.)

I would save up for decent carpet to put down and decent underlay. Carpet with separate underlay is normally thicker

I agree with others, take it.

I would speak to your local council as they often have funds which can be used to purchase flooring.

Try a family Fund as well, they are a charity that may be able to help with furnishing and carpets.

terrace flat with three floors so you have to climb each stair case to get to a room and the bathroom was a bit small).

This would be my dream!

The only thing that puts me off living in a flat is because it’s all one level and I found it difficult because the bedroom was right next to the front room and I couldn’t have the TV on as my LO was such a light sleeper.

It sounds like this flat has the best of both worlds though and I think you’ll really enjoy it.

You’ll also be able to exchange much easier too because it has the different levels.

This is fantastic news!

Lots of fabric really helps to prevent sound from travelling so buy the biggest, longest curtains you can, either lined or with separate liners or use a lightweight set behind a heavyweight set (IKEA is good for really long curtains and H&M home is not bad either plus you can buy onlIne) carpetd with underlay and rugs and fabric wall hangers (and even wallpaper can help a little - you can buy quite cool looking textured stuff for painting over these days, much nicer than the 80s anaglypta and woodchip from the 80s).

Try and get one room as soundproof as possible before moving onto another - that way you will have a space that you and DC can occupy on a bad day without the added stress of worrying about neighbours.

Don’t know if you’ve ever managed to access an occupational therapist for help with sensory stuff but I found that once I’d had a little assistance to make the most pleasing sensory environment possible for my DS his meltdown’s improved a lot. Basically my whole house is shades of green, yellow and white because that’s what suits him best (he used to have a red rug in his bedroom and I swear the day I took it to the tip his meltdowns improved). Warm white LED bulbs helped loads too (I stopped taking him shopping because the strip lights in shops were a trigger).

So pleased for you! xx