AIBU to turn down council property?

[worldcupfan]

NC.

After 10 years and four rejections. We have been shortlisted to view a council property. The property seems good to be true, not too far from DC's school, local shops, food transport links (where DC can travel to school) the monthly rent is quarter of my overall salary (which would mean we will managing decently) and the rooms are spacious. Also! DC will have his first proper room. We currently live in a 1 bedroom flat.DC has my room and I sleep in the living room.

But! It's not a ground floor. It's on the first floor. DC is 12, has "high functioning Autism" but has severe horrendous meltdowns, he will shout, cry, scream, jump up and down. We are getting help with this and I have hired private cognitive therapy, have a specialist who will be working with me in the home to manage DC's meltdowns. But I am so worried about disturbing the new neighbours below us. In my current place, it's like I'm having to walk on eggshells as I'm managing to prevent DC's meltdowns so that the neighbours don't complain- but also feel that I can never relax in my home and feel that I'm constantly walking on eggshells to prevent DC's meltdowns. Sadly, it looks like I will have to decline the offer but my friends and family are telling me that I'm crazy. What should I do?

You could get some kind of soundproofing to put on the floor to minimise the noise?

This is a great suggestion, maybe something can be worked out

I think you need to seriously consider what happens if you say no.
Round here, like a previous poster, you will be on the list for another 10 years waiting for ground floor. Unless you have severe mobility constraints (wheelchair, physical disabilities) or are very elderly then you just will not be offered one. You would never get to the top of the list.
You might be waiting for the impossible.

Take it, you may be able to exchange later if you do have issues but at least it is going to be better for your day to day quality of life now.

....

I was 16 years old when I had DC and was on the housing waiting list. I lived with my parents for many years and which enabled me to save but once I found about DC's needs then I spent most of my savings on helping him and going to court. I was also attending school and at the same time dealing with an abusive ex. It became so bad and I didn't want to become a burden to my family (due to my ex causing trouble) that with a help of a charity and the police, that moved into our current apartment. I'm not rich, nor comfortable, I am just managing by the breadline and there are times where I go without food and my own personal luxuries just so that I can pay for DC's private therapies. It is hard. But I don't think I should judged because of that?

Take it, get a carpet with a decent underlay then explain to your neighbours
Once you're in a council property you can put in for an exchange, there's a list on the council website where you can advertise for an exchange to a downstairs property or a house if someone wants to downsize, my dsis did it.
You'd be mad not to accept it, it could be years before you get another offer.

I'd take it.

You can always look for mutual exchanges once you're in if it doesn't work out well.

And your new neighbours might be nicer and more understanding than your present ones.

Will the council / HA pay for soundproofing? Mine did

I’d take it as well, you could save up and buy acoustic underlay to help with noise transfer but maybe with the additional safe space if his own it might help

Where are you now?

Obviously it’s somewhere unsuitable else you wouldn’t be on the list.

Take it!
Take it!
Take it!

There will never be the perfect property and it could be years before one as good as this comes up.

I would take it and then try and exchange from there.
Or re-apply for the council and if it takes years then at least you’ll have all of the advantages still.

Noise travels up too.

Invest in really thick carpet pad.

larger housing with more space with everyone should help with the meltdowns after you get past the initial transition

Take it

Most people don't mind noise from children. The majority of noise complaints are around adults playing loud music and being excessively loud at 2 in the morning

Take it and invest in really thick underlay and carpets. Get to know your neighbours and explain the situation - people are much more understanding than you think when they know what’s happening and that you’re trying to get support to stop it.

TAKE IT

If you were my neighbour and came and explained your situation, told me what you were planning to do to address the potential noise issue (carpets, rugs, therapy), I’d be kind and thankful.

I would, however, expect it to work both ways - if it became intolerable, I’d come and talk to you to discuss the impact on my life. You sound like you’d be open to that and working out a way forward, so don’t let your fears hold you and your son back.

What is the alternative and what do you do at the moment to address his behaviour?

Take it. Maybe save a bit of DLA each side for sound proofing his room/ safe space. Thick carpet in all rooms best of luck 🤞

Extend both hands and grab it!

As someone who lived under a similar situation the noise severely impacted my mental health. I had sympathy and wasn't an arse about it but it was awful. Take the flat but please put thick underlay and carpet down. I reckon 80% of the noise could have been reduced if they had carpet instead of laminate.

Take it.

Sound proof a room as much as you can. Possibly a duvet on the floor, carpet insulation.

Sound travels in all directions. Even in a house.

Your neighbour may have noisy children too. It's give and take. You might be lucky like us and have a neighbour who is hard if hearing - that takes a bit of pressure off regarding keeping quiet.

Take this lovely new home and work out wats to make it work once you get there and know what the situation is.

Take it. We live in a council owned block and another resident has a grown up son with a severe disability, he shouts and screams a lot. Honestly I have zero resentment or complaints, it’s not their fault. I’m far more resentful of those having loud parties!

Take it. Please don’t throw yourself and your family under the buss for the sake of people you don’t know yet

Just take it, noise travels upwards and sideways too and youre never going to get a detached house. My downstairs neighbour has a child with Send I have no issue with him being loud and jumping and banging around (I have a massive issue with her shouting, screaming and swearing at him though).

You'll be able to use some of the DLA to make his space more sound proof, even those Eva foam tiles would deaden the sound and they aren't expensive. Sound panel on the ceiling, lots of soft furnishings or those egg box looking foam sound things for the walls. Lots you could do. Also look at big sensory things he could do instead of banging around, spinning chairs etc might help.

I agree take it . Could you actually make a safe soundproof area ? Would your child use an area like that at certain times ? To reduce sound but actually an area especially to try and calm things ?

Take it. I honestly never mind about neighbour noise unless they're having rows or playing really loud music. Anything else - especially children - is fine.

And please don't ever feel you need to justify what you spend DLA on. Shame on anyone who's implied that you should think yourself lucky.

This place is sometimes such a race to the bottom of seething resentment.