Lodger told me I eat too much. Do I??

[Orcubed]

Obviously you’re not going to be able to tell me for sure without seeing my portions etc but I’m a bit annoyed.

She’s been wfh this week, normally we don’t really see each other. I’ve just been into the kitchen to get a coffee and opened the cupboard to get a snack to go with it (a dark chocolate rice cake if that’s relevant) and she said “you eat too much. Always eating eating eating. You will get fat when you eating like this all the time”

So Monday I had
2 cups of tea
porridge with mixed seeds
a peanut cereal bar &coffee
cheese and cucumber sandwich (granary bread, butter), cranberry juice, satsuma
2 sausages and veg (carrots, broccoli, leeks, swede, sprouts). cherry yoghurt.
Plus water and herbal tea (3 herbal teas, 2 water)

Tuesday
2 cups of tea
2 weetabix
standard size bag of maltesers and coffee
2 pieces granary toast with half an avocado and sunflower seeds. Greek yoghurt with mixed ground seeds. Bag of salt and vinegar squares. Cranberry juice
shakshuka with extra veg in (courgette, aubergine, kale as well as the peppers, onion and tomatoes), feta and hummus on top, flatbread on the side
water, herbal tea as Monday

Weds and Thurs basically as Tuesday except Wednesday I had toast and marmite with my coffee, no crisps either day. Dinner Wednesday was lentil and fennel stew with rice, had a digestive biscuit afterwards, last night pork casserole with mash, green beans and broccoli.

Putting aside the fact that she was rude, I don’t think I eat that much? Basically 3 meals and one snack. Would you consider this a lot of food?

those posters on here who thinks OP’s diet isn’t balanced and healthy…why?! Are you one of those people who is obsessed with protein - usually meat - and think no meal is complete without it??

Healthy and less than most people! Some people don’t eat meals so maybe she’s one of them! My MIL and SIL don’t eat breakfast or sometimes lunch! Not sure how they don’t pass out! They’re not skinny either!

There are two issues here I suppose. Firstly, is she not British? I’ve worked a lot in other countries and commenting on food and diet is very normal in a lot of other cultures. Even commenting on weight is totally reasonable in a lot of cultures. She may not have realised she’s being rude.

Secondly, when I was in the UK a decade or so ago I’d probably have not said you’re eating much? It’s a normal British diet. But compared to places I’ve lived since, and am living now, it would be considered very odd (odd enough to comment on) to eat a daily high sugar snack like chocolate or cereal bars every single day. I’d definitely expect my colleagues to comment on it! And I have never, ever - in the 6 years I’ve been here - seen anyone eating crisps, or anything similar. No exaggeration! Where I live now the diet is home cooked hot meals for all three meals of the day and snacks would be nuts, seaweed or fruit. But mostly no snacks.

So I guess it’s a cultural thing? Or maybe if she’s british and very health conscious she might be concerned about the daily unhealthy snack? If she is British, though; I’d have expected her to know it’s culturally unacceptable to comment on diet.

Thanks for the recipe @Orcubed :)

And for your delectation, I give you the annual crisp consumption of the EU, plus UK and a few other countries. Germany Italy and France eat the most in total, although per capita it's Netherlands Sweden then Germany.
UK sadly doesn't top any table, although we do spend nearly the most
https://www.globaltrademag.com/the-european-potato-chips-market-retains-growth-despite-the-pandemic/

I'm fascinated by all these people living in these countries who have never seen people eating crisps. Perhaps the cultural norm is to scoff them at night under the duvet.

Are you overweight? Either way they need to stfu

She has no boundaries and is rude! Whatever you eat or don't eat has Fuck All to do with her, she seems to be projecting her own fucked up relationship with food onto you and if it happens again I'd seriously consider asking her to leave. Its your home, your safe space, not her business .. I'm not going to say your diet is good or bad because its YOURS. It works for you, as others asked does she come from a fat shaming culture? My Indian relatives love to cast aspersions on what I eat, I refuse to engage with them.
If she's in your home she must keep to boundaries you should set now before she gets comfortable shooting her mouth off. I'm really annoyed for you OP. That's horrible what she said and the fact she shares your space. Good luck and I hope it doesn't happen again.

No. But even if you were, how is it any of her fucking business?

Have you seen the rows and rows of processed cakes in bags on supermarket shelves in Italy? That they all dip into their coffee for breakfast? Are you sure you lived there? 😂You are living in some dreamland Italy.

Yep shame when the facts get in the way right! Mamma Mia.

You have a brazen hawk watching your every move with disdain.

Creepy, rude, she thinks she has the right to speak to you like that in your own home that you’ve graciously opened up to share with her??

Kick her sorry ass to the curb asap.

The people pretending they’re shocked that you’ve had one cereal bar ‘very odd’ LOL

Tell her she'll be lodging under the patio unless she learns to keep it zipped.

I think in a lot of European countries, certainly in Croatia (where I'm from) adults don't snack really, not regularly anyway. They might eat a piece of fruit in between meals. Crisps is something kids eat at birthday parties etc. People don't usually eat sugary treats with coffee.

There is not 300 calories in a peanut cereal bar (around 140-150) and a cup of coffee (around 16 calories). It's in the region of 160 calories - around 1/12th of the calories a woman should consume per day.

And lots of adult women will get away very easily eating chocolate bars, crisps, and cake every day and remaining slim.

The real question is how do you stop at ONE chocolate digestive?

All seems reasonable to me. Snacks are OK, especially as you seem to have a small lunch.

It is weirdly judgmental, and none of her business

Well it depends on the portion size. Plus I wanted to draw OP attention to fact she can make this decision herself.

I'd be fucking raging as I cannot stand people commenting on another persons food.

My aunt was like it, if we went for a family dinner she'd say "oh are you having a pudding? Didn't you have a starter?" Yes, yes aunt Jane I did, and I'm going to enjoy a cheesecake too now fuck off.

It's not a lot, but even if it was, if you're not overweight then you're not eating too much. It's none of her business anyway!

You need to wind your neck in as well.

I don’t think that is very much at all… and what you do eat is pretty healthy. Enjoy your food. Ignore your lodger!

@Seaweed42 I'm an adult woman.

5ft 8. For most of my adult life I weighed around 9 stone- with a very low BMI. I ate a packet of crisps and a chocolate bar/bag pretty much every day for years. Toast & jam for breakfast, choc snack or cake mid morning, sandwiches, crisps, chocolate bar, fizzy drink for lunch, snack after work, full evening meal including meat, veg & carbs. Wine far too much. Never put on any weight at all- my in laws used to comment on my skinniness.

My metabolism has now slowed down, so I have to watch my carbs, but your 'no adult woman' comment is just rubbish.

Cassie "She may not have realised she’s being rude."

OP I would take the opportunity to tell her and point out you are doing her a favour having her stay. Preferably while having a fag and blowing smoke at her.

And when I was eating all that my exercise was- zero. Active job (teaching) but no exercise at all. Spent my weekends working on my sofa.