Lodger told me I eat too much. Do I??

[Orcubed]

Obviously you’re not going to be able to tell me for sure without seeing my portions etc but I’m a bit annoyed.

She’s been wfh this week, normally we don’t really see each other. I’ve just been into the kitchen to get a coffee and opened the cupboard to get a snack to go with it (a dark chocolate rice cake if that’s relevant) and she said “you eat too much. Always eating eating eating. You will get fat when you eating like this all the time”

So Monday I had
2 cups of tea
porridge with mixed seeds
a peanut cereal bar &coffee
cheese and cucumber sandwich (granary bread, butter), cranberry juice, satsuma
2 sausages and veg (carrots, broccoli, leeks, swede, sprouts). cherry yoghurt.
Plus water and herbal tea (3 herbal teas, 2 water)

Tuesday
2 cups of tea
2 weetabix
standard size bag of maltesers and coffee
2 pieces granary toast with half an avocado and sunflower seeds. Greek yoghurt with mixed ground seeds. Bag of salt and vinegar squares. Cranberry juice
shakshuka with extra veg in (courgette, aubergine, kale as well as the peppers, onion and tomatoes), feta and hummus on top, flatbread on the side
water, herbal tea as Monday

Weds and Thurs basically as Tuesday except Wednesday I had toast and marmite with my coffee, no crisps either day. Dinner Wednesday was lentil and fennel stew with rice, had a digestive biscuit afterwards, last night pork casserole with mash, green beans and broccoli.

Putting aside the fact that she was rude, I don’t think I eat that much? Basically 3 meals and one snack. Would you consider this a lot of food?

Exactly this.

Obviously no one on here can judge if that’s the right amount of food for you! You have to work out whether you are overweight or not and how much exercise you are taking.

but we can all agree that your lodger sounds rude and I wouldn’t want such an outwardly critical person in my house.

How awful to say that to you ! This is how people end up with eating disorders and I'm not exaggerating . Different people have Different metabolisms don't they and what you're eating is fine . Just tell her to get stuffed next time .

I’ve lived in France, Italy and Spain. No-one ever had crisps at home. And I don’t think I ever saw anyone eating them either. People didn’t really eat between meals in the same way.

I would have replied "I may eat too much (whether if you believe so or not) but at least I'm not homeless, get out".

But then I'm extremely petty

I know, right.

Sounds like my meals just, um, smaller 😂
Personally I have tried eating normal sized portions of meals with lots of veggies and just got hungry 5 mins later. Then I looked at the calorie content and discovered why. If you eat lots of fruit and veg you need to eat more food to make up the same level of calories so it looks like more food!

Anyway, glad to hear Ms Rude is off soon and thanks for sharing the recipe as I fully intend to try it.

I think you misunderstood. I had crisps (salt and vinegar squares) on Tuesday. On Wednesday and Thursday I ate almost the same as on Tuesday but did not have the crisps which is why I said no crisps on either day. I’m not denying that I ate crisps on Tuesday or pretending the the squares are not crisps!

It does sound like a cultural difference. I have relatives from abroad who can be very direct, in a way that is rude to English people.

The amount you eat sounds fine, but most importantly you say you are a healthy weight.

I am eye rolling at the unsolicited nutritional advice from certain posters. This wasn't asked for.

It doesn't matter what you're eating or not eating( fine, by the way) it's absolutely nothing to do with her and I'd tell her so
The only reason she could comment is if you had eaten her food, which you haven't of course!

I’m Italy they are too busy dipping sugary cakes into milky coffee for breakfast and having chips on their pizza in Italy. Oh yes. I have family there and my kids have picked it up from their cousins when they go. Not allowed it in the U.K.

Netherlands is all cheese and crisps.

Lets get realistic!

She's trying to gain some control,prob cos she's the 'lodger', she's planted that seed in your head, and it's took root. Tell her to piss off if she makes that kind of comment again, and start looking for a new lodger. You def don't eat too much, but now every time you eat in her presence you'll feel uncomfortable, that's the element of control. Some men do this in controlling relationships. She's a twat.

It doesn’t matter if she’s from a different culture, it’s so rude to say that someone is ‘always eating eating eating’. So what if you are. It’s none of her business and she should shut up I am furious on your behalf as she has now made you feel ashamed

"you'll lose all your friends if you keep talking like that. Always bitching, bitching, bitching"

Feck all to do with your lodger. As long as you’re healthy, does it matter how much you eat? It’s your business. It’s not too much anyway, sounds like a normal amount of food to me and healthy too.

Cheeky fecker I’d eat all the more now.

It would be a lot for me as my calorie requirement at my age, size, and activity level is only 1600 a day.😕
You'll know if it's the right amount for you if it's allowing you to maintain a healthy weight without gradually gaining. People's views are irrelevant as its matter of fact not opinion.

I do think it is worth saying something along the lines of - that’s not something acceptable to say in this country.

When British people live in another country you make an effort to learn what is culturally acceptable. If I made a gaffe like that when living in another country and was told something like this I would certainly listen and take the feedback on board and be grateful for it. In fact probably a bit mortified.

Get her out of your house as soon as you legally can. Your diet sounds very good, healthy, and moderate. She must be demented telling you what to do in your own home plus she’s very wrong. Personally I couldn’t stand having a lodger. I understand you may have no choice but if I were you I’d get rid of this nosy rude one and find a more amenable person.

Your lodger can get to fuck. Who the hell does she think she is. Give her notice and tell her why.

You should have said ' I don't think so.'

It doesn't matter what the OP weighs, what her BMI is, how old she is.

Telling someone they eat too much is RUDE.

No-one I know has ever lived like that. In Germany, yes. Germans like their sugary stodge as much as their Anglo-Saxon friends. But the average BMI in France and Italy is much lower than the U.K. They have wonderful patisseries - but they’re for treats.

I don’t think this is about your food. I think the sound of you opening cupboards and the fridge is irritating her so she said something mean to hurt you. It was a low blow. If she’s your lodger find another. People who behave like this will only get worse and If I’m wrong she’s still an a**.

You eat more than me and I'd put weight on if I ate that daily. (I am older than you I expect- late 50s.) I would swap the lunchtime sarnies for a salad or soup ( as to many carbs don't work for me.)

I'm 63 if I ate what OP eats daily, I'd lose weight. People have different calorific needs. No one can judge without knowing OP's lifestyle activity level etc., she's not overweight so she's doing fine with that amount of food. I had a friend of a particular nationality who was given to making very blunt statements, so could be a cultural thing, whatever I'd tell her to stuff a bun in her mouth.