To think that adults are much less resilient than they used to be

[louease]

First of all I'll admit that I'm on the older side of 60 so the weight of my belt onion could be effecting my judgement on this.

I see a lot on social media including here where people say they are upset at words they read on a screen, that they've been triggered, or that it should have a warning attached.

Are we making the world harder to live in by trying to make it too comfortable do you think?

I think a lot of people just don't realise you can't be happy ALL the time.

I've flip flopped between YABU and YANBU.

My initial reaction is YABU, we should make the world a better place and it wasn't better in the 'good old days'. It's a good thing to be considerate of others, hold people to account and be self aware. However, I think younger people are starting to struggle to hear opinions different to their own and assume they are 'right' and others are 'wrong' even in matters that aren't bland and white.

So, YABU regarding trigger warnings and other warnings, I don't see what the problem is. If you can make a space nicer, do it. YANBU when it comes to social media, and tbh wider society of people only listening to people who agree with them- not that it's a younger persons problem, every generation seems to be a bit guilty of this.

I am in my 60s too

There were a lot of sad people around.
Domestic abuse was commonplace and women did not have the right to refuse sex in marriage.
Barbituates and tranquilizers were handed out like sweets, and used as a solution to marital violece and debt.
Homophobia was accepted, as was racism.
Many people had to shut up and put up with miserable lives, many had literally no option.
Is that being resiliant?
Laughing off marital rape and beig racially abused?

I think the present day is far fairer, people have more options, and the law is usually on their side.

People are peopl, I don't think there has been any change.

Yes, the baby boomer plus generation are (as a group, I appreciate not all individuals are like this) so mentally healthy, not stiff upper lip and buttoned up at all, definitely deal with emotions in a really healthy way 🤔

I am definitely ‘the older generation’, and I don’t think I have had an easier or a tougher time than the average person.

I have good health, for which am very thankful. I had a very abusive first marriage, but an amazing second one. I do notice now that there’s a huge explosion of people citing mental health issues, whereas I may have said that I was feeling a bit low/very down etc., and just got on with life because I had little children who needed a strong mummy.

Whether this equates to being more resilient is not, perhaps, for me to judge, but I do think coping with life’s troubles without assistance has made me tough.

I think it's far more nuanced than that, often you find that or realise it when you get older,
Life is not obviously as straightforward as simple as this attitudes right or wrong allways,
Certain things are but not allways are, such as for e.g we all know child slavery is ethically morally wrong, for all sorts of reasons,
But other things in life can be more nuanced, are different shades of grey, for e.g if we spend far too much exposure in sun, we can get skin cancer,
But we all know the sun is essentiall for life on planet 🌎 earth,
I think the being triggered by almost anything,
Is obviously a extreme reaction opposite end of spectrum of the societal expections of stiff upper lip attitude,of bye hone era,
It wasn't a healthy attitude to have, either,

But neither is being triggered by everything either a healthy attitude

The pendulum has swung to far other side,

It needs to be a healthy balanced equilibrium of in the middle between being triggered by everything and the stuff staid upper lip,

I think

I agree.

Yes, and that it's someone else's fault if you're not and they need to be held accountable for it!

Most are pathetic

I defo feel like as a society we're way too offence prone nowadays. And also very quick to try and report people to their employers.

I drive trucks to our sites pretty often, which can be anything from civil projects to KFCs, retail parks, etc. I've got zero tolerance of cheeky parking fuckers nowadays and always ensure to park a loading shovel behind them or block them in with the mixer.

It's great when they get all mardy after being told I can't move the truck for another 15 mins. Usually they call the number on the side of the truck to complain. The number that diverts through to my mobile. 😂😂😂😎

My Grandad dealt with his awkward ptsd from the Ww2 & any difficult emotions going forward by drinking himself unconscious on a regular basis as did his brothers...
I've found photos of them at every family occasion from the 50s onwards completely wrecked.

I don't think 'the older generation' of the 50s & 60s were necessarily any more resilient, they just dealt with things differently by blotting out their upsetting emotions with alcohol, as good anti depressants were not available & recreational drugs weren't seen as acceptable in working class society.

That generation were taught to 'keep a stiff upper lip' - my Nan thought it was good that she managed not to cry at my Grandad's funeral- but it was actually sad. Why did they bottle up those emotions? Who benefited really?

From looking after older patients 75+ I notice that they are less emotionally resilient than they may once have been in their younger years.
Many of my patients have cried as easily as younger people, talked about their fears & emotions, felt depressed & anxious, particularly dementia patients.
This may partly be due to the effect illness & pain has on the body & mind, and the way that serious illness suddenly brings people in touch with their own mortality.

In my experience the elderly/older generations (i.e., those over 60) are significantly less able to cope with being challenged or with changes in societal norms/thinking.

They're usually the ones who will screech on and on about things like 'free speech' while simultaneously trying to shut down discussions on anything they don't like.

@follyfoot37 Most are pathetic

Who are?

@ArianahX

My Grandad dealt with his awkward ptsd from the Ww2 & any difficult emotions going forward by drinking himself unconscious on a regular basis as did his brothers...

He did actually fight though, and then deal with his PTSD the best he could with no therapy.

Imagine if we had to fight WWII now - half the adults would be too fat the other half would be too triggered.

I think I've worked out that "belt onion" should be "opinion" at last 😁

@Yellowrosesmakemehappy
I think you are right. I am older and sometimes think Jeez everyone is upset by everything nowadays. But when i was younger we had no internet so no social media. We only knew what the papers and News told us. I think we are bombarded with information now most of it not very nice hence the trigger warnings.

You’re not being unreasonable.

The current teens/young 20’s seem to think they know what freedom and sovereignty are and yet do the complete opposite. They don’t accept other peoples’ opinions and when you try to give an opinion, they shoot you down in flames if it isn’t in line with their ‘woke’ agenda. 😩

Aside from the triggering words thing, I do think adults now are less resilient in practical ways too - everything in the home (housework-wise) seems like a mountain to climb to younger people. When you get social influencers on TikTok, making videos showing you how to turn a bin liner upside down into the shape of an umbrella and then turning the right way up to get it into the bin…..you’ve got to realise…..something has gone wrong somewhere 😂.

Resilience in the true sense of the word, as in the ability to bounce back from bad things and use it constructively, should not be banned at all. It's an incredibly important life skill.

It really is important, @Thepeopleversuswork . Among my peers (late 40’s), those who haven’t been very resilient in the way you’re describing have ended up with harder lives, even though the people I’m thinking of started out with many advantages. It’s an important life skill and I really hope our children can cultivate it, because it’ll make them happier in the long run.

Yep, got to get the fat bashing in 🤣🤣🤣

I agree too. Oh, the irony of the “literal violence” claims! We seem to have become far more intolerant of others in our quest for tolerance somehow; there’s no respect for opposing views. It’s worrying.

That doesn’t mean hiding problems, of course, it means facing them and finding ways to cope with them.

Yes definitely. It starts with helicopter parenting and goes down hill from there.

No answer really - anything I suggest would obviously be literal violence 🤪.

Do you realise just how many people in their 70’s and 60’s have massive mental health issues they’ve kept hidden for decades?

We just talk about them now.

But otherwise yes people get too easily offended these days.

I think all the focus on mental health/trauma is actually damaging some young people, especially those who are actually quite privileged and have really rather shallow things to worry about.

It’s almost like they need to have some sort of disorder, because that is the only way they get listened too.

From my personal perspective, my mental health got far worse when I saw a professional re: childhood abuse and improved drastically when I stopped going and wallowing/mulling it all over and over again.

It’s a bit like when you fall over and it doesn’t hurt I until you look at it.

May be different for some, but I can’t be the only person that gets worse if I focus on my past trauma. So at least some are being damaged by the constant talking about it everywhere these days, even at school or work!

@Crumpledstilstkin Thank you 😊