To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

Got through half and switched off OP.

You haven’t mentioned anyone you loved dying, you were lucky.

Yanbu to feel what you feel Covid has had a lasting effect on everyone for me I got long covid so can now only work part time meaning a significant drop in income. I lost family, friends and colleagues to covid and wasn't able to say a proper goodbye. However yabu to not follow covid rules when so many people where dying unnecessarily

Exactly, I have just been reading a very interesting book about how very ordinary people going along with it were the reason such a nasty regime succeeded.

Boris being hauled over the coals for a work group meeting outside after working together all day is essential to keep up the narrative that COVID was bad and lockdown justified.

If Johnson didn't think the rules were necessary then maybe he shouldn't have made them.

If a PM made it law that the speed limit on the motorway was being reduced to 40, went on tv to stress how important this was and how people would die if not followed, and then did 70 on the motorway, I wouldn't care that the rule he broke is stupid, he's in the wrong. It's his rule. Follow it, or change it. If it's unnecessary, don't make the rest of the country do it while ignoring it yourself.

So you’re still smarting from being told to wear a mask at school pick up however many years on? By a head teacher who had to deal with;
setting up remote learning
staff illness
trying to comply with the ever changing rules and procedures
possible child bereavement
having to deal with parents not complying with rules
And she’s the one that was out of order?
I don’t entirely agree with the school uniform policy at my children’s school. But it is their rule and I comply with it. I don’t get into a shouting match with the head teacher at the gates in the morning.
I can understand that you had a tough time work wise and no adult should ever contact a minor to bully them, however I really don’t think you helped the situation. Maybe you and the friends you have fallen out with were always going to fall out and this was the nail in the coffin?
I think it’s time to draw a line under the situation, learn from it what you can and move on.

I think covid had negative impacts on so many people in so many different ways.

Losing your business must have been traumatic, however a lot of your post relates to your own decisions.

You were not unable to wear a mask outside, you chose not to and this impacted you daughters education. If you felt strongly about her education you could have worn a mask but the not wearing one outside was obviously more important to you.

I have life changing health issues from covid, I was fit, healthy and only in my 30s when I caught it.

So I think there's lots of negative effects and I think they are different for everyone. We just have to cope the best we can

My daughter has a disability which meant she was unable to wear a mask. The abuse she received during that time was bloody disgusting and certainly exacerbated, if not outright caused, the agoraphobia and OCD traits she went on to develop.

Grown adults threatening and hurling abuse at a 15 year old girl. I hope those people are ashamed of themselves. The posts on here about mask exemptions were equally disgusting - I remember being told that DD shouldn’t be allowed out, shouldn’t be allowed to go to school, go on a bus, access medical treatment, go in a shop.

Masks have become a total red rag to a bull for me.

Were you not able to claim under the Self Employed Income Support scheme

My DH is self employed and was not entitled to any of the help as he missed the cut off date by a few days. His business has come through the other side, but we did lose a wedge of income for a while.

I've been reading one about the black plague and the effect the quarantine measures had in its decline

Im sorry you struggled and hope things are better for you know.

However, some of the things that happened were sort of self inflicted. I never understand why people have to share their every thought on social media, let alone on public pages.

I keep my opinions to myself, would never post them on social media, let alone public 'where I live' pages and also keep any controversial opinions to myself with friends. I just dont want the drama!!

I think most people would be happier if they did the same

The son of some family friends of ours died in April 2020. He had had a life limiting illness for several years, and died aged 42. They had six people at his funeral. None of his friends could come.

At least it wasn't Covid. They were lucky.

Grown adults threatening and hurling abuse at a 15 year old girl. I hope those people are ashamed of themselves.

They won't be, which is part of the problem. People who were swept along with the STAY THE FUCK AT HOME fervour and were the ones phoning the police about people sitting on benches or having barbecues in the garden think they did absolutely nothing wrong.

This thread encapsulates what is wrong with us post covid

The OP went through some awful things, that doesn't detract from others, but she has a right to say you know what this really affected me.

We have lost all ability to be empathetic to each other

"Youve got it bad? Boo hoo, shut up -ive got it worse"

cue next person...

"no actually you shut up, how dare you be sad - I'VE got it worse"

and so on ad nauseum

Worried about bills? Tough - people are more worried than you - so shut up.

Struggling with the cost of things? Tough - people are struggling more than you - so shut up.

These two books and situations can co-exist you know. One doesn't cancel out the other.

You drew your line and you tripped yourself over it.

No sympathy here. You have paid for your beliefs as is right and proper.

Honestly you brought majority of it on yourself, your attitude says it all. The fact your own friends turned on you and the community over yourself righteous attitude which radiates in your post says it all. Some people gave vulnerable children with cystitis fibrosis, parents who are having cancer treatment, people with autoimune disorders. I suspect you've left out alot of other important details.

I mean that makes sense, it did disproportionately affect people from age 45 upwards.

Life expectancy isn't a Use By date though.

YABU. I would be interested to know which firm your husband works for as we are also house builders and our sites reopened in June, as did many.
Not sure why he was furloughed for 6 months.
Some of the things you’ve listed are of your own doing and were incredibly selfish & inconsiderate.

Bit of a mixture here. Absolute sympathy with you in relation to your cleaning business, and of course no-one should be trashing you and your family on social media. However, you clearly weren't unable to wear your mask outside as you claim, because you accept that could wear it indoors. Why on earth did you sacrifice your child's wellbeing for that?

I'm not surprised that your friends being unimpressed by you proclaiming that you weren't afraid of an illness that was killing hundreds of people a day and leaving hundreds more with long term health problems and disability. If you wouldn't comply with restrictions to protect them, it's not surprising you were dumped.

If you can't deal with the fact that not all your friends will agree with you, you must be really quite immature. I can see that you needed help with your mental health, but that was not because other people didn't share your views; it was because you were unable to accept that they were entitled to have their own views and to act on them.

It's quite ironic that you're complaining about NHS delays when you would not support measures directly designed to ease the pressure on the NHS.

I don't understand how so many people have so little sympathy for other people's experiences. Obviously losing a loved one to COVID was an awful terrible thing to happen and the restrictions meaning that people couldn't attend funerals etc was horrific but people also suffered directly from the restrictions. Does it mean there shouldn't have been restrictions? Obviously not. Does it mean that people are wrong to want to talk about their personal experience of their suffering and pain? No.

We all have our shit to deal with and some shit is harder for some people that others. Why is it so difficult to just agree that lots of people suffered horrendously and that we all benefit from being heard whether or not your experience was the same as theirs or not.

OP I empathise and agree with you. I hope you start to feel better and life improves

Some of the reactions on this thread show that the nasty little Covid bullies are still out in force. Which is a shame, because I'd have hoped that the cunt behaviour would have stopped by now.

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Almost every Self Employed person was in the same boat, myself included. What can you do?

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside

This is your own fault for not wearing a mask, when you should have been.

My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her

That's YOUR fault, for not doing what you should have.

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy

Everyone on the planet was in the same boat.

Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it

Again, many, many people were in the same position. He doesn't sound very resilient.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

And?

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them

I'm not surprised they ran a mile. You sound like a conspiracy theorist or something. Did you not see thousands of people dying?

And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

IT WAS A GLOBAL PANDEMIC. YOUR LIFE WASN'T DESTROYED, HOWEVER, MANY LESS FORTUNATE PEOPLE ACTUALLY DIED

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school

Why on earth did you take to Facebook and post a load of shite on there? Absolute madness for a self employed professional to do.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed

Oh do come on now.

And here we see how things like nazi Germany happened. I'm a granddaughter of a holocaust survivors before you jump on me for that comment. Just do what you're told and don't question it is a terrifying way to live and you can sleepwalk into terrible things.

ah yes. The nazis. So we were asked to wear a mask under certain conditions. And they wanted you to denounce your Jewish neighbour so they could be transported to a death camp.

The sign of a grown up is that they know when they should resist, and they know when the government is trying things out because we don't really know what's going on. The rules were in constant flux as scientists worked out the characteristics of the virus.