To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

You made choices which made the Lock Downs even more difficult, and you paid the consequences of those decisions.

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them

Did you express these views empathically? Some people were understandably concerned about Covid due to their health.

I think getting into public debates debates on FB is never a god idea, especially if you have a business as it will alienate potential clients.

And her kids from the sounds of it.

COVID was a terribly hard time for so many of us.

OP - what you describe was a mix of unfortunate and horrible COVID impacts (e.g. your business closing) and your own bad choices (starting arguments over masks).

Life is both about what happens to us and how we respond.

I'm angry too op and I didn't have half that stuff happen to me.

I was generally opposed to lockdowns...I think certain restrictions would have been sensible but it was a ridiculous overreaction imo.

My biggest problem was watching my children sink further into depression the longer it went on. My ds developed tics and for the first time ever became slightly overweight. My DD has sn and got more and more miserable.

Oh and most of her class were in ffs as keyworker children.... don't even get me started on that because my blood boils.

It was a nasty time

I’ve always taken the view that I’d do whatever it took to make life work, including being vaccinated only because I still wanted to travel. However I didn’t express an opinion about what other people did or didn’t do to make life work for them, nor did my actions directly impact others.

I wore a mask outside, despite believing any difference they made was minimal, because I wanted that holiday in the sun, and the law where I was said I had to, so if I wanted the holiday, I went with the rules, no matter what I thought of them.

What you did directly impacted others-your kids-and you have to take responsibility for the impact your actions have had on them. It’s absolutely your right to have these principles, but actions have consequences, whether that be arguing the toss on social media or being prepared to lose your business over them. You can’t have these opinions and take these actions, be very vocal about them then whinge when people don’t agree with you.

Not to minimise your experience at all; it sounds as though lockdowns triggered a breakdown for you- taking to Facebook and airing your controversial opinions on covid was ill advised but perhaps because you were mentally unwell

That said, many experiences were far worse- death of loved ones, medical staff pushed to their limit and struggling with very limited resources. My son’s teen friend committed suicide after starting uni and being locked down in student halls.
Many people are left with debilitating effects of long covid.

My advice would be to concentrate on improving your mental health and to avoid getting into arguments on social media over covid.

As you sow so shall you reap. The majority of these issues are the consequences of your own choices.

My caveat to all what I’ve said is that I lost my dad to covid, in a care home, in May 2020 when that bastard Johnson was partying, now that’s something I feel justified in my anger for

Same.

My teenage daughter had a complete mental health breakdown.

For the last 3 years I’ve focussed on getting her well and getting her the support she needed, but I feel somewhat traumatised to be honest.

She’s slowly getting there now, thank goodness, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget that feeling of utter helplessness while watching my 15 year old fall apart in front of me and not being able to do anything to help her.

Sending you unmumsnetty hugs!

Were you not able to claim under the Self Employed Income Support scheme. I can understand that clients cancelled on you but did they not want you to return once things opened up more?

“Did you miss the part where I was threatened with physical violence and my child was also verbally attacked with personal insults by adults for expressing his valid opinions ??”

Disgusting- covid was an excuse for a lot of people to bully others.

The best post on fb for me was a nurse asking for the fireworks to please stop in her area as although the outpouring of support from the public was appreciated, she couldn’t sleep and worked shifts. And she was vilified and ripped a new one. She should be thankful for those stupid bloody fireworks waking her up. That’s the public, selfish cunts. 😤

My cleaning business suffered too op. I struggled to wear a mask (asthma).. My dc suffered massively at home. Dd attempted suicide twice last year. Lockdown was 3 years ago. Still brings back feelings of panic when shops are limiting stock. I feel for you op. SM is horrific op.

My 48 year old husband died. He caught covid and he died.

my kids had to attend their dads funeral, my life tipped upside down and inside out.

I have no sympathy for you and your ‘I drew the line’ rubbish.

Lockdown was shit. Watching your husband via FaceTime lay on a ventilator when you can’t even hold is hand is I assure you, far far worse.

Telling your kids that their dad died and that they can’t see him because of the covid rules, excluding 99% of his family to the funeral due to lockdown rules.

not being able to hug your mother in law who has just lost her son because you had to isolate for 7 days so that you could be there when your husband died.

Seriously get some perspective.

You know you weren’t the only one in lockdown op right?

I also came within a hairs breadth of losing my business and faced financial ruin. It was tough. But also much much tougher for others.

and constantly dwelling on it, even you‘ve launched a new and successful business seems really counter-productive.

You brought a lot of that on yourself. I’m sorry you are still struggling but you can’t be surprised that people reacted angrily to your refusal to wear masks and that friends ditched you for your selfish views

Completely agree, the way the British public seemed to lose any powers of critical thinking en masse was astonishing. Have lost respect for a lot of people I know due to their blinkered sheep like attitude.

I'm angry too op. My adversity was nowhere near as bad as yours. I was working out of home throughout as an essential worker and was glad of it. Multiple senior healthcare professionals (top level) knew the lockdowns and school closures were a bad idea but were silenced. Am angry for my daughter and her friends having to do GCSEs this year after 2 years disrupted schooling and no alteration to the grade boundaries this year. We've spent £££ on tutors to get her to where she needs to be due to lost schooling, we're the lucky ones who can afford it. The "they'll get over it" attitude towards children and young people over the harm of the lockdowns from some people was horrible and I'll never forgive them for it.

Thank you 💐

There was no fairness with covid. Some people did very well indeed, while others were devastated. The sheer randomness and lack of control over where we were on that scale is very hard to accept when we are used to believing we our masters of our own destiny.
You were particularly unfortunate in having views that were out of step with your peers. There was a huge comfort in being around like minded people, and feeling the world may be going mad, but at least we feel the same. You didn't have that, and that must have felt so isolating.
You will come to terms with it (what choice is there?) I don't know how to speed that up. But I do hear you, and your feelings are valid.

@Woeismeitappears im so sorry for your loss. What an utterly dreadful time you had. I hope your post gives the op pause for thought.

💐

You sound argumentative and self-centred if I am honest.

Like you, I didn't fear covid much and was more frustrated by the impact it had on our lives but could still appreciate that others were genuinely petrified. I have a close friend who withdrew her children from childcare and did not leave the house until June 2020 because they were so fearful. They would regularly post a lot of the unverified nonsense that was doing the rounds at the time which was just some-ones opinion rather than any sort of fact. Arguing with her that it was nonsense was not going to achieve anything, so I would try reassure her with facts and stop at that. We were never going to agree and it was just not worth arguing or losing a friendship over. 3 years later and we are still close friends

Why on earth would you make your child suffer by not wearing a mask at school pick up?!! It is a few minutes, doesn't matter if you don't agree. Just do it, get your child and take it off.

It was a tough time for many, easiest thing is to do what you need to in order to get through it. Arguing for the sake of arguing is just silly

Totally this. Wearing a mask outside was stupid, not wearing one until the school gates and then putting one on was completely pointless and stupid. But I did it because it in the end cost me nothing and enabled DS to go to school.
I also didn’t travel to places where masks were outside.

I think lockdowns were an overreaction but that doesn’t mean covid isn’t nasty and didn’t need some kind of response and learning that having an opinion doesn’t mean you have to give it

I’m so sorry for your loss and the utter trauma surrounding the end of his life and funeral-I don’t think we can ever underestimate the damage this has done to people.

& yet one poster on here comments they are disappointed to have not had covid 🙄 i am sorry about your Dad.

Does that go for the people who hurled abuse at kids, too?