To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

I think wearing a mask outside is just pointless - I don't think masks inside really did much good. I complied with inside rules as others were scared, people became obsessed during the pandemic which is sad. The lockdowns causes so much damage and misery, the impact will continue - young people have really suffered but they were not seen as a high priority. I felt the emphasis on the care homes was disproportionate at the time. The vunerable should in my view have stayed at home and life should have gone on a normally as it could.
People were silenced in the pandemic - we couldn't express views if they weren't pro lockdown and other precautions. If this ever happened again I don't think people would comply.

You sound like hard work. If you couldn’t suck it up and wear a mask to take your kid to school, like the rest of us did, then that’s your problem. Clearly you think you’re more important than your child’s education. Do I think masks outside were necessary? No. Did I suck it up and get on with it when I had to? Yes. I think your attitude is the problem

2 weeks after my husbands death I took my kids to school and there was an anti covid protest outside the school gates.

Giant posters such as ‘the government is the virus’ ‘what happened to the flu?’ And ‘read the science’ 🙄.

I very politely (considering my kids were in the car sobbing) got out and said to a man who was chanting some rubbish that my husband had just died of covid and my kids were traumatised enough, could they please piss off.

the Man said to me ‘I am sorry that the government lied to you about how your husband died’

not my finest moment considering my kids were there but I ripped the poster out of his hands and stamped on it and then threatened to run them all over in my car if they didn’t go away.

I totally get it, and feel the same way. On top of the fear, loss of liberty, economic devastation etc etc was the total polarisation of society engineered by the government. Looking at others as biological weapons is totally dehumanising.

I reached my lowest point, for reasons I won't go into here, in early 2021. Around that time, I heard Lord Sumption give an interview, and this quote quite possibly saved my mental health:

“Sometimes the most public spirited thing that you can do with despotic laws like these is to ignore them."

It was at that point that I took back control of my own life, made decisions based on my own risk assessments rather than the nonsense spouted but ignored by government!

I sympathise with everyone who lost loved ones, businesses and mental health as a result of covid and covid restrictions, but I will not be locking down ever again.

I agree with you our business went under too and all for what? Since last year instruction was to just treat it like a cold and get on with life...this is what should have happened: isolate the vulnerable until they could get vaccinated, and let everyone else get on with life...instead we tanked the economy, left other vulnerable people (kids) unprotected, lost people due to misdiagnosis -no one interested in anything that is not covid-, messed with the kids education, destroyed people's mental health to pieces and will be paying for the furlough scheme for generations to come...the figures of COVID deaths were skewed i.e. a lot of senior citizens that died of ongoing health conditions all had COVID as cause of death...so I don't understand why people are still using the "so many people died because of COVID" line.

Not actually sure what the point of that post was tbh.

Try bagging dead bodies every day then get back to me

Because no one died before covid did they?

When we finally find a cure for death, we are in serious trouble.

This is a very insightful post. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t agree with, for the ‘greater good’ for want of a better phrase, and I suspect a lot of people went along with Covid restrictions with this attitude. Likewise, posting controversial comments on FB when you are the ‘face’ of a business was unwise.

I was quite the opposite and was very concerned about Covid, complied with all the rules, was concerned about restrictions being relaxed later in 2020 - but I didn’t lecture people about it. I didn’t feel comfortable going to pubs when they reopened, so I didn’t go, simple as that. And I didn’t get into arguments on social media about it.

I also think that people have forgotten how worrying Covid was in 2020, especially before we had a vaccine. We look back now and say ‘everyone overreacted’ but it didn’t feel like that at the time.

But the NHS as a whole was not overwhelmed and the OP not being able to get a routine operation a long time after the fact isn't because covid overwhelmed the NHS. It's because the NHS shut down completely for many months other than for emergencies so we had hundreds of hospitals virtually empty. And spent millions on Nightingale hospitals that were never used.

The public was told to 'Stay at home, protect the NHS, Save lives'. At a time when many HCPs were having the eerie experience of the least stressful work times of their lives. While people were so terrified into not burdening the NHS that they were dying of heart attacks, strokes, sepsis whatever, at home when their local ICU was virtually empty and HCP were cleaning stuff and eating all the donated takeaways and making Tiktoks because they didn't have enough to do.

And I'm not saying I've come up with a better way it could've been handled. I don't know if there was an alternative option at that time but the OP didn't have to pay privately for surgery because the whole of the NHS was overwhelmed by covid. She was dealing with the backlog of shutting down the NHS.

Were you not able to claim under the Self Employed Income Support scheme
This indeed. Why did your income reduced by half? U less of course you didn't pay taxes and so we're not entitled, in which case, you can't possibly expect sympathy.

Do I think masks outside were necessary? No. Did I suck it up and get on with it when I had to? Yes

This is sheeplike behaviour.

Some nasty comments on here. Covid was something that brought out the worst and best in people and that is continuing. It was terrifying for some so I think that's why it caused such high emotions around people getting iĺl and dying, which I'm sure you understand.
On the other hand the effect the restrictions had on your business and mental health is terrible and nobody would want to go through the abuse you've suffered.
I hope you get some help and can eventually move on.

My friend’s mother died very young from covid. You may not have been “scared” of covid, but the masks were to protect OTHER people, not yourself!

Thinking something is wrong but doing it anyway because the government have told you to is exactly how evil regimes come into power.

Sounds like what a lot of people went through.
I personally wouldn’t want to dwell on it and just be grateful for being alive and that you can move forward.
It was a shitty time in everyone’s lives.
Im sure you had it worse than some just as many had it worse than you.

“Stop worrying about Covid. I don’t believe it’s bad and you’re going to have to just deal with the consequences of it”.

”Waaaaah. I didn’t expect any of those consequences to impact meeeeee”

But the NHS as a whole was not overwhelmed and the OP not being able to get a routine operation a long time after the fact isn't because covid overwhelmed the NHS. It's because the NHS shut down completely for many months other than for emergencies so we had hundreds of hospitals virtually empty
Because NHS staff were catching COVID and indeed dying. Or should have risked their lives to provide non urgent procedures?

I think many have forgotten that before the vaccin, COVID did kill a lot of people, including an unexpected number of young and healthy ones.

Is using hand sanitiser sheeple behaviour too?

How about sneezing and coughing over people?

It's s only on MN I see rabid COVID people who loved lockdowns. I nursed people throughout the pandemic it was very sad but I do think the wearing mask outdoors is excessive if they socially distance . It turned some people really strange like self imposed morality police. The people making the rules the government weren't even complying !! I feel for you OP , it was a shit time for many and it's so weird how people turned on each other.

I feel sorry for you in some respects but some of this you brought on yourself.

Diddums

It’s a line that cost you dearly as you describe the fallout from that one thing as being the catalyst to the bullying and harassment you and your family received because of it.

I personally wouldn’t risk my kids being bullied and their mental health just for the sake of putting a mask on outside for a couple of minutes.

Your life was ruined because of your presence on social media more importantly your behaviour during a pandemic and voicing it on social media.

Your problems lie with you, although highly doubtful you'll ever see that so why even post? Everyone went through the same shit during lockdown except not many people made a show of themselves on social media about it and then was shocked when it backfired.

Don't know what you want to gain from this attention piece. Your story is not unique at all. We are all still suffering the fall out from it.

I thought you were going to be one of the really sad "I lost my mum and my dad to covid, we couldn't give them a proper funeral, I couldn't be with them when they died" or "I worked in a hospital and I'm still not over it" type stories.

Not "I was a dick about wearing a mask so I inconvenienced myself and made myself something of a social pariah". Would the police have been called on your family if you'd been less vocal/obstinate about mask wearing I wonder?

Financially I can see that it was hard, however it was hard for a lot of people. I'm not sure what the alternative would have been? Carry on as normal and let everyone spread it?

I lost a couple of friends to covid, one of my seemingly fit, <40 friends ended up in a coma for weeks from it because he had undiagnosed diabetes, plus one of my friends with cancer didn't get timely treatment and has since died. Unfortunately in extreme scenarios that's a bit of a roll of the dice. You can tell me you weren't scared but I was fucking terrified and I was right to be.

One of my most heartbreaking moments was when a pregnant friend caught covid in the first lockdown and her baby was born sleeping at 36 weeks. She had to go through most of it alone with her husband outside in the car park.

They're not sure whether there was any correlation/causation from Covid, but the timing was there. All I could do to be there for my friends was to be on the end of a phone, to watch the Very Small funeral on webcam. God I wanted to be there in person and to hug them and cry with them, but we didn't because collectively we knew both "It Was The Right Thing To Do" and "Nobody Knows The Extent Of This Virus Yet".

Now if you're telling me covid wasn't really a danger, it was no worse than a cold, then I think you're a bit of a tit. However if you're telling me it took too long to get back to normal then I do agree. However there's a point where you've got to stop being a victim, you've got to start putting the good back out there.

Count your blessings - your family survived, you still had a household income of £30k for the period. You sound like you needed an operation for comfort and for function rather than life saving, that's why you were at the back of the queue, behind my cancer ridden friend, behind my Dad's heart operation. Aren't you lucky that you had the option to take out such a large amount of credit to leapfrog that queue? Not everyone can.

I think you need to reframe your headspace and evaluate your own behaviour, personally.