To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that feeling of utter helplessness while watching my 15 year old fall apart in front of me and not being able to do anything to help her

Second time they shut the schools, my DD started to get really low. I can totally empathise with the feeling of helplessness. Every day she'd wake up after a long sleep saying she was tired and she'd eat lots of sweet foods...both signs of depression. I had to try every day to think of things to do to try to occupy her time. She hated home schooling so I didn't make her do it. It was so awful. The pressure I felt was immense as I felt all her wellbeing and happiness totally depended on me so I could never have an off day. It was hellish and I don't think I've been the same since

I agree. OP you really really need to get some perspective.

I don’t think your response to all this is at all proportionate - everyone went through lockdown, it is what it is. If you’re struggling then I would seek some counselling because I don’t think you’re being rational at all. The issues you’ve listed sound like pretty standard life problems to me - ups and downs.

ps sorry for your loss @Woeismeitappears x

OP you are allowed to have your own feelings and opinions about what happened to us all. I am in agreement with you. I too refused to wear a mask outside. No death was prevented by anyone wearing a bloody paper mask outside in the fresh air.

Know that you have shown your children some important lessons - that it’s okay to question authority, that they should never mindlessly follow the herd and that if rules are nonsensical then they should be challenged robustly.

@BitOutOfPractice Im genuinely not saying it for sympathy or for any reaction other than to show the OP that whilst she feels like her life was impacted, in the grand scheme of things it’s all repairable. Stuff can be replaced, work can be changed. People can’t be bought back and for those of us who lost someone - it’s not like any other death I can think of.

no one else has to constantly have reminders, listen to the jokes, bloody funky pigeon have a whole range of cards dedicated to covid ‘I’m positive (with a picture of a positive LFT) that I love you’ as a valentines card for gods sake.

in all honesty, I shouldn’t have read the post - I suspect I assumed it was something else by the title.

Your post contradicts itself pretty spectacularly.

You dont agree with or go along with the restrictions

You complain that you had to pay privately for an op you should have got for free, had the NHS not been overwhelmed because in part of restrictions not being brought in quickly and firmly enough, and..... because of people like you making the situation worse by ignoring them

and you had a household income of 30K throughout this time......?

Thank you 💐💐

Oh and I will never forget the gleeful parents when they closed the schools for the second time. They were all clammering for them to be closed...then sending their kids in as keyworker children. The absolute fuckers.

Oh and if you said you didn't want the schools to close you were an evil monster.

Oh and if you were against lockdowns you were a conspiracy theorist nutter.

You only had to go along with wearing a mask outside though. What was the point on 'making a stand' like you did? Who did that benefit? What would it have changed?

What was the point of stating your views on Facebook? Did you think you would change anything? The things you were complaining about weren't onerous really were they?

From your responses on this thread you seem to just want people to agree with you. You are just looking for affirmation.

Agree and Yep I'm so proud of how my kids questioned stuff

It is pointless to rake over the past, it is the past, you cannot control it. You can only control how it affects you here and now.

Honestly I would seek therapy or some other mechanism so you can move past the anger this is still causing you because otherwise you will allow the impact of what happened to become even greater.

30k is fuck all when your income is usually twice that if not more 🤷‍♀️

Now we know that wearing masks outside is unnecessary. In the middle of lockdown, we didn't. YABU not to do it to make your child's life easier. This bit sounds a bit 'you reap what you sow' to me.

The rest sucks. The business thing is awful and I am glad things are improving for you. But you need to let some shit go. You took a stand - absolutely your right - but there were consequences and you kinda just have to accept that. People have a right to not want to hang out with you if you thought Covid wasn't a big deal because it was a huge deal to plenty of people who lost family and friends.

And yes, if you disagree with your friends on certain things you do just have to accept it or not be friends with them. That applies to everything, not just covid.

Anyone threatening violence to another adult or child for expressing an opinion is a massive twat, but people - as you know from your own experiences - lost it during lockdown. Try and write that off to other people experiencing mental health issues (though I know that's hard).

Quite frankly you got off lucky and you sound very self orientated. It was a terrible time some were worse off than others . Look out of your box a bit . Decisions were made some that people agreed with and others that they did not. My kids wore masks in school for many many months and elementary kids had to as well . And our lock downs were far worse than yours ..... But you know other peoples stories and what they went through are far worse than yours or mine . Can we do anything about it now ? NO ? SHoudl you be grateful that you have your loved ones , you have been able to re build your work and lives ? Yes ... Don[t look back look forward and be thankful .

and Yep I'm so proud of how my kids questioned stuff

I found during covid a very weird phenomenon, whereby anyone who questioned the government policy or doubted them was branded an evil conspiracy theorist.

Most people are incredibly stupid when you think about it

30 K is fuck all !!!??

I think you were very well off if you could rely on 30k

Perspective is needed here OP.

It's your children I feel for. They are the ones that suffered because of your decisions/opinions.

I'm a very sympathetic person but for you, I have none!

I would think 30K is a lot if you only have 20K.

Try bagging dead bodies every day then get back to me.

So 2020.

This is exactly what the OP is on about.

MN really is a cesspit sometimes.

YANBU. It was a terrible time for many. The mask wearing imo was ridiculous, as were a lot of measures.

However, I think you need to move on. It was a spectacularly unprecedented time which we all had to muddle though. We had to make the best of a terrible situation. Some loved lockdown, some hated it, but most were somewhere in between.

Put it behind you if you can and move forward. There is no other way, it’s done. 💐

Whilst wearing a mask outside is ridiculous, it meant effecting your child and you happily went along with this! Wearing a mask wouldn’t have caused you any issues but not wearing one.. probably did for your child. You sound like a drama queen.
It was scary for a lot of us as it was the unknown. Thankfully we can look back now and see a lot of the things we did were crazy but we didn’t know that then.
Everyone has been effected not just you and your family.

Erm, I think a bit self reflection needed here OP.

Were your friends quite so vocal? If you were feeling humiliated at school collection I imagine that your DC were too.

im saving my sympathy for my family members who lost loved ones during and from Covid.

You only had to go along with wearing a mask outside though. What was the point on 'making a stand' like you did? Who did that benefit? What would it have changed

And here we see how things like nazi Germany happened. I'm a granddaughter of a holocaust survivors before you jump on me for that comment. Just do what you're told and don't question it is a terrifying way to live and you can sleepwalk into terrible things.