To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

I think you brought a lot of that on yourself TBH.

I hope you're doing better with your MH

They didn't know that at first though, and also it's not just children. I know many think teachers should sacrifice themselves for their jobs but no. Also children spreading might not get too sick but their family they pass it to could. I'm not sure if many people comprehend how scary it was when covid first emerged, working in healthcare was absolutely horrific; didn't know how to best treat it, no one knew for sure how it was spread or the effects on people, and people were dying horrific deaths and in large numbers.

Were you not able to claim under the Self Employed Income Support scheme
This indeed. Why did your income reduced by half? U less of course you didn't pay taxes and so we're not entitled, in which case, you can't possibly expect sympathy.

Utterly fucking clueless.

I was worried sick about my income as a self employed person during those first few weeks. Some gem of a person on MN told me that if my business couldn't survive a few months with no income coming in it was clearly unviable and deserved to fail anyway.

So many people here seem to equate Self Employed with someone who dodges taxes.

I'm so sorry for what you went through and I totally understand.
Some of the responses on here are bringing it all back. What I found particularly strange at the time was that all the abusive people on social media were so outraged that we didn't want to lose our homes/businesses/mental health to prioritise them. And all I could think was but you're all absolutely vile, expecting me to give the tiniest fuck about you when you certainly have made clear you don't return the favour is beyond cheek.
It really did only go one way.

Outside in a crowd is still risky, if one mum had covid and coughed all over the rest, others would likely come down with it. And you have no idea how vulnerable the others outside the school were to covid or if they were living with grandparents or imuno-compromised family members. Seeing people walking down deserted streets wearing a mask is stupid, but in a crowd fair enough.

Simple masks don't stop airborne virus, but they do stop droplet borne virus in coughs and sneezes, outdoors or in well ventilated spaces airborne virus is quickly dispersed.

I can’t believe how many people will happily admit to following nonsensical rules just for an easy life or to appease the mob. Thank god for the minority who are willing to stand up and say no.

I’m sorry you lost your business but the whole mask thing was your own stupid fault and you could have easily sorted that

And I wonder how many people were/are still affected by your selfish behaviour op. No sympathy I’m afraid, people were frightened, you behaved dickishly, for no reason other than to be difficult.

I agree what they did to children was unforgivable....to save an older generation who I tell you now, wouldn't have done the same for them.

I know some younger people died and that's sad but people die all the time of all sorts of things and all sorts of things which could be prevented.

Vast majority of people who died were elderly... unpleasant for their families of course but not so huge a tragedy imo that it was worth throwing kids under the bus.

I tell you now if there was a virus which primarily killed children and elderly people were told to stop going to the golf club or the bingo hall to save them, they'd be up in arms.

A lot of "what happened TO you" was of your own making there. Perhaps think on that if the consequences of your decisions are still bothering you. You seem to be blaming external factors for your own decisions which is very unhealthy and is the type of thinking that leads to poor mental health.

So many people here seem to equate Self Employed with someone who dodges taxes

Yes that was a fun low. I remember the stress-triggered migraines from that time period and some absolute arse clowns on here chucking around the tax dodger slur and it felt like being booted when I was already totally down.

Long-term it has certainly inspired me to be as tax efficient as possible, that's for sure. We have to look after number one, that's been made perfectly clear.

I don't really believe it was was as bad as the government made out. It completely ripped through our hospital it's split MH and physical health wards. Absolutely none of the purely MH patients had severe symptoms we lost half of the physical health side who were elderly , had dementias , brain injuries and were already on DNAR and would unfortunately die from other health conditions in less than 12 months. It was very sad but I still think there was a lot of hysteria.

I never caught it and I worked throughout.

People STILL haven't learned that because lots of people suffered terribly, it didn't mean that other people who might not have been in the firing line didn't suffer, which is why we get the "Oh try blah blah blah" posts.

It was shit. It was shit and traumatising for so very many people, in different ways. People are trying to come to terms with it, and the OP is clearly struggling to do that, and STILL people are coming out with the kind of vindictive shit they were hurling around in 2020. What's the matter with you?

I don't necessarily disagree with you. But equally you could have just worn the mask to drop your child off. I agree that wearing a mask while standing apart from other parents outside is unnecessary. But it sounds like you made more of a hassle for yourself by refusing.

My next door neighbour is STILL wearing a mask to put her bins out, in the fresh air, in a private road. Heaven knows how much anxiety she is still living with. There are those who suffered on both sides of the opinion fence, and still do (covid illness itself aside).

There was somewhere around 45,000 excess deaths in April 2020 which was long before a vaccine was available.

YABU. A lot of this sounds like you were being purposely obtuse and awkward. And wallowing.

And here we see how things like nazi Germany happened. I'm a granddaughter of a holocaust survivors before you jump on me for that comment. Just do what you're told and don't question it is a terrifying way to live and you can sleepwalk into terrible things.

When you're asked to do something by a central power, of course you question it. You think about it. But that doesn't mean automatically saying no, as a knee-jerk reaction, because 'Nazis!'

Many people took on board the request to wear masks and stay home in the lockdowns, but they didn't just do it blindly - they thought about it and did it for the sake of the greater good & the health of the population. I'm glad they did, because it could have been so much worse.

They weren't though this was a lie they peddled. The average death age was 84 as recorded by the ONS which is older than total life expectancy in the UK!!!

People Are dropping dead now because of the vaccines.

NO THEY ARE NOT!!
Reporting your post for misinformation

Completely reinforces how self-centred OP really is.

@Woeismeitappears I am so so sorry for your loss and all the associated trauma due to restrictions. A very close friend lost her father in similar circumstances and she still struggles with the fact that she couldn't attend the funeral or see him in his final hours due to the enforced isolation. This is where lessons really need to be learnt, noone should ever have to go through this when losing a loved one

Average age of death was 84 which was older than total life expectancy.

I see your points but half of your post is about your decisions and reactions - you chose to die on those hills and impact your child's education. I would have picked my battles tbh.

Losing your business and money worries are very traumatic though.

My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

you weren't "unable" to wear a mask, you refused to. Your daughter was "made" to arrive/stay late because of you trying to make a point. Totally your fault.

sometimes you have to just suck it up and get on with it. Mask wearing was one of those times.

People Are dropping dead now because of the vaccines

No they're not. Tens of millions of people were vaccinated in the UK. A huge percentage of the population. A lot of them would have died anyway... because you know people die.