To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

"Screw that very significant minority then get. You are not covering yourself in glory here.."

I know more about the proportion of the population that are vulnerable than you do, obviously. And what proportion have physical vulnerability and what proportion live with DV, etc. I work with people who work and care for them all. 🙄 . It's a shit world

And I understand that a virus spreads without mitigation . And that kids going to school would include kids of the vulnerable or care workers and hospital staff. But screw them all in your world of glory, hey

The OP suffered, and I originally sympathised with that, but her attitude since has confirmed for the majority of those on here, that much of it was self-inflicted

Well done deltron you spotted an error, the most useful thing you've done

From memory the lockdowns were in place before vaccinations which were the thing that got us out of this mess, slowly

As others have said restrictions differed as we learnt more about the virus and what worked well. But, rather obviously winter can cause more mixing at a time of other viruses and pressures. Hence an extended lockdown needed there. It really wasn't rocket science 😕

Anywsy OP

Maybe take the time to reflect

With all the back slapping and high fives you are giving yourself.

Maybe instead take the time to consider what the majority have said

The pandemic was and still is crap. It hit you hard in many ways

But others suffered and your attitude added to that and added to your own issues

I see your reading comprehension hasn't improved at all. That wasn't what I said at all. This was my post, in response to Twelly, who wrote "I felt that children and young people were seen as less important - the emphasis on the care homes and prolonging life for a matter of weeks against the impact of isolation on young people which will last for decades was in my view wrong. This view was not allowed to be expressed but I believe I was not the only one who held and who still hold it."

Plenty of posters on MN expressed that view, and worse. And are you suggesting that the elderly, vulnerable, disabled, and people in care homes - ie. those the most susceptible to severe illness or death from Covid - should not have been prioritised in any way? Before vaccines were available? How odd.

To clarify, I was suggesting that in fact - on MN in particular - the elderly and vulnerable were seen as less important, and plenty of posters had no problem saying so. Given that this pandemic targeted the elderly and vulnerable and NOT children, I somewhat felt prioritising their requirements was not unreasonable.

Sorry this hurts your feelings.

Most of them were charlatans and didn't have the first fucking clue what they were talking about!!!

"in future"??? Crystal balls were in short supply!!

WTF is wrong with your comprehension skills? Quote to me where I ever said it was a good thing?

However, many governments thought it was necessary thing and I'm sorry but there were sectors of the population where the impact of lockdowns was way more severe!

Are you really as thick as you are coming across, because that is pretty thick!!

What enabled us to start mixing again was an effective vaccine, several in fact, and a high uptake of it. I'm guessing, you aren't vaccinated, so depending on the rest of us rational human beings who are?!

Let me rephrase this for you.

"Many 'scientists' who offered up their 'expertise' were ignored as they were recognised as grifters, charlatans, or not qualified at all. They were never silenced as we continue to hear from them constantly.

Office of National Statistics figures for flu deaths over 10 years

vs Daily COVID deaths

So at its peak, COVID was killing similar amounts of people daily that flu killed in 1 year. We also have a flu vaccine, and flu deaths dropped during COVID as well.

That's why I don't get histrionic about it.

Flu is awful, and I have worked during swine and bird flu , which fortunately did not impact the UK as much as other countries. In addition as I have said in my previous posts there are significant differences between people needing a ventilator for flu or other viral pneumonitis (typically for most viral stuff this is a few days, with COVID it was often weeks) behave, and COVID.

Jesus Christ, there's some nasty posters on here. I get it now, anyone who dares question anything is stupid, we must all agree with the government and do as we're told. I did pretty much follow the guidelines at first (not the rules idiots on here made up) but it it's still ok to question it as some of the restrictions were ridiculous and that was obvious at the time.

To the posters who are pro lockdown, were you on here in 2020? Were you the ones shouting abuse at anyone who bought chocolate, drove for exercise, went out more than once a day?

This. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes OP.

Op it sounds as though one of the biggest contributors to your mental breakdown during lockdown was Social Media.

You’d think local Facebook pages would be a source of support in a pandemic- neighbours checking on the vulnerable, offering to get shopping for the elderly, praising/ sympathising with NHS staff in the community, bonding over home schooling etc.
There was some of that happening.

However, in the main, social media platforms during the pandemic turned into a seething hotbed of fear and accusations.

The extremists took over- we had highly anxious hysterical posters panicking and lashing out on chat forums because they were too scared to even open their door, we had the conspiracy theorists scare mongering and the covid deniers with their heads in the sand being called Murderers. . Everyone turning on each other and all born out of fear and frustration.

All these scared people with deteriorating mental health, lashing out into the void of social media without the “grounding” of their everyday life or routine.

Many people used Facebook (or similar) as their ONLY news outlet- their only source of information.
Some even called it “research” 😂

Mumsnet certainly wasn’t an accurate representation of the general publics attitudes at that time. I avoided it like the plague (pardon the pun).

Most people tried to remain calm, avoid Facebook spats and act in a socially responsible way- patiently waiting for a successful vaccination programme despite feeling the same fear, frustrations and uncertainty.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat No I wasn’t here in 2020, and thank god because MN is quite bonkers and I can imagine at that time it was hugely damaging to people’s mental health no matter the point of view.

The thing is in the case of covid all the restrictions were underpinned by sound science, where there was overwhelming agreement globally on the threat and similar strategies were employed, where possible, elsewhere.

For anyone who had bothered to read the science - all freely available - there would have been no need to question the gov strategy. It was really dire. And actually you could see it coming a mile off - In Jan 2020 I was ringing friends abroad telling them to come home and that it was going to be a shitshow when I read some of the initial stats and compared to SARS.

We were incredibly lucky it wasn’t worse.

I don't know why but I don't know anyone who was hysterical about the lockdowns, I don't know anyone who was talking about breaking the rules (although I did see neighbours with extra cars on their drives during the Christmas lockdowns so assume they had visitors) and I don't know any kids with serious issues although I do know one who was anxious about one of her parents who has asthma.

I see people saying about kids not being allowed out of the house during lockdowns but I don't know why as you could go out, I've seen people saying we were locked down for 2 years but were we? I live in a coastal town and I can tell you that in July/August 2020 we were packed out with visitors and the cafes/pubs/restaurants were packed particularly with the Eat Out to Help Out.

Personally it was worrying as DH is 76 and disabled so I worried about him catching it but he didn't as far as we know, I got it badly and GP was 50/50 about me going into hospital but I refused but was unable to do anything for 8 weeks and not much better for the next 8 weeks and it has taken me a year to get back to something like normal. I saw my children and GC on line and with them coming to stand outside my house and have a chat. Sainsbury's delivered my food.

Losing a business is obviously very difficult, I was lucky in that I could work from home. I tried to be positive about the rest of it, aren't we lucky that we have loads of TV channels and the internet so we could entertain ourselves and stay in touch with loved ones.

Over 200,000 people died in the UK, how many more would have died if we hadn't had the lockdowns? Given how much colds and flu dropped then I think we can assume covid would have killed more and harmed more if we hadn't had lockdown.

Were mistakes made? Almost certainly. Could it have been worse? Almost certainly. It is easy to judge with hindsight but not always so easy at the time. I can't see the point in arguing about it now, it is done. I can't see the point in winding each other up. Everyone on here survived or we wouldn't talking about it, lots of us lost loved ones or lost our long term health to long covid but we go on because what else can we do.

The OP is bitter but she took the opportunity to retrain and is doing well so maybe that is better than what would have happened without covid. As to children I don't think they should get abuse but I also don't think we should be encouraging our children to flout the rules during such a difficult time. I particularly don't think a 5 or 6 year old is doing things like ripping down hazard tape without getting that attitude from somewhere, home?

We need to learn from what went well as well as what didn't. It could happen again and if we learn those lessons we can do better next time, whenever that is.

You are right social media was a cesspit

There was some lovely stuff too particularly at the beginning but that got rarer and rarer

However I have already pointed out that the threat of violence I received was in response to a business ad I posted, not any kind of controversial opinion not that even that makes threats of violence okay

It literally went someone posted "hi everyone so my daughter said that xxxxxx high school is masks from monday ....so what do people think ?? "

to me replying I did not personally agree with it mostly due to my own kids struggling if I'm honest

To my son then commenting that he did not agree with it either (and he never said he would not wear one ...simply he did not agree)

Opinions we expressed politely and in response to someone starting a discussion

That was IT

It was not like we were constantly online posting stuff like anti vax and conspiracy theories everywhere!

Social media was a cesspit

I agree with you there. During the pandemic, emotions were high and I honestly think most people with extreme opinions (at either end of the scale) were acting out of fear.

The mask “discussions” alone on here were not worth joining- so many people angry at the situation were using social media as some sort of emotional dump.

I quickly learnt to steer well clear.

Like I said, I don’t think behaviour on social media was a true reflection of the general public’s reaction to this global crisis.

Indeed I was. And I don't remember it like you do. In fact, the nastiest posters were - and still are - the anti-lockdowners. Anti-any mitigation, really. It's disingenuous of you to say otherwise.

And I'll add: no-one is pro-lockdown and nobody wants to be in lockdown forever, so can those lines stop being repeated? No-one enjoys being cooped up at home, for whatever reason.

Many people were acting irrationally out of fear and confusion I suppose? Mistrust in the government is at an all time high; many people choosing to listen to dubious opinions and anecdotes online instead and losing all perspective?

Discussions online around covid were littered with hyperbole, provocations and misinformation.

Threats of violence on local Facebook groups and vigilante action were a particularly ugly side of this.

On a lighter note, I remember a poster on here asking if she was allowed to go to a shop for a pint of milk?
She was told the most sensible thing to do was stir a lump of cheese into her coffee and stop being selfish.
Some humour in dark times 🤣

I think it’s fine to acknowledge you’re struggling with the fall out from our pandemic. Perhaps try to look deeper as to why people behaved the way they did?

We are all recovering from the devastation in varying degrees.

Opening up your old wounds on here? Probably not the best idea x

The thing is, you reference ‘nasty posters’ and then refer to others as ‘idiots’. From what I can see, there are unpleasant opinions and insults being voiced from all sides. Just as in 2020/21/22.

It’s pretty unpleasant to call people idiots but..
Did anyone ever gather enough evidence to plot a graph showing writing and reading comprehension skills plotted against total resistance to lockdowns?

Interesting to see if there was a link.

The thing is, you reference ‘nasty posters’ and then refer to others as ‘idiots’. From what I can see, there are unpleasant opinions and insults being voiced from all sides. Just as in 2020/21/22.

By 'idiots' I'm referring to the people on here who made up their own version of the rules in 2020 and the hurled abuse at people for not following them (and there were plenty of them), not just anyone with a difference of opinion. The idiots were the ones who made up the rules about shopping, exercise, BBQ's etc. to suit themselves.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

By 'idiots' I'm referring to the people on here who made up their own version of the rules in 2020 and the hurled abuse at people for not following them (and there were plenty of them), not just anyone with a difference of opinion. The idiots were the ones who made up the rules about shopping, exercise, BBQ's etc. to suit themselves.

You wrote "idiots on here" 😂

I must admit I was questioning the intelligence of some posters continually posting “It’s not ALOUD!!!!” in response to literally any query.

Those were the ones I was talking about. The poster that accused me of living in a hovel because I don't have an office at home was another one.

A difference of opinion was fine and it's good to question things, hurling abuse or insults at people because they wouldn't go along with made up rules or lived a different lifestyle wasn't.