To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

masks will still have been helpful cos of all the grotty gross people who can’t sneeze or cough into their elbow but have to spray it everywhere

likewise masks were good for stopping those people who were always chewing their fingers then picking up produce in the supermarket

😂😂Nah my kids see me for the awesome, together non-neurotic person that I am. Not some histrionic fool who jumps to insults when they don’t like what they hear.

Yep.

Exactly the same people as in 2020 no doubt with the same “Yeah but no but yeah but YOURE A SHIT MUM HAHA GOTCHA” craic. So glad I’m not such a dullard

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

”So glad I’m not such a dullard”

That’s subjective

Many people couldn’t wear masks.

My DH has military related PTSD (and was told on MN in 2020 to ‘get over it’) so could never wear a mask.

I remember one woman on MN came on around the same time to say she’d been gagged and raped as a teenagers so face coverings were too triggering. She got told to stay indoors.

Plenty of people can’t wear masks for good reasons. And those who don’t want to shouldn’t have to either.

The thing about lockdown that amazed me most was the total willingness to believe what we were told. We were told to be scared - and boy did we lap it up. Then anyone who went ‘hang on a minute’ was called thick, idiot, cunt, bad mum etc. the government must have been utterly pissing themselves laughing about how, despite their demonstrable incompetence, everyone just did as they were told and those who didn’t were eaten alive by the little minions.

YANBU to be upset about your business going under.

However..

"because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)"

YABU for interpreting events like this. You weren't unable to wear a mask - the sentence immediately afterwards you say that you were wearing masks indoors - you chose not to, and as a result you, not anyone else impacted on being able to drop off/ pick up your child. It was a tiny adjustment of wearing a mask for a few extra minutes a day, but you clearly felt your principles were more important than any impact on your child's schooling.

You clearly knew that your beliefs or choices were unpopular/not in keeping with public opinion and you were quite vocal about it - free speech doesn't mean that you can say what you like - it means you can say what you like, but that people can also voice their opinion about you and your statements. Nobody deserves verbal or physical abuse, but it seems that despite repeated episodes, you were determined to publicise your opinion.

I don't think that you deserved the horrible abuse you describe, but I would also say that my experience working in hospital and seeing so many people die of COVID was pretty sobering. I worked in a hospital where a pregnant woman died of COVID - the baby was delivered a few days before she died, but her children were left motherless. I saw people in their 40s and 50s die or put on a ventilator with only a 50% chance of survival, and have seen some of the survivors with persistent lung damage. COVID was most certainly not just like any other virus, and the patients with serious complications such as needing to be put on a ventilator did not behave like our previous experience with viral pneumonitis such as flu- they needed far longer on a ventilator, and much higher rates of other complications like blood clots/heart issues etc.

Having seen that, a small amount of modification of my personal behaviour, whether or not I felt that there was good evidence for it, does not seem unreasonable.

It's easier to be wise after the events, but there really wasn't one easy solution to the pandemic response.

Well I know me better than some random on the internet and I assure you I am not.

I was just thinking this myself. I have just joined, thought MN would be an interesting place for advice, support and healthy debate. It’s just name calling and people at their worst.

As ever, there is a middle ground.

I worked in a hospital. After the first six weeks or so, I thought lockdown should start to be relaxed. I was incredibly worried about the NHS backlog and what that would mean for the future. I thought schools shutting for so long was appalling. I worried about people’s mental health. I didn’t see why people could not meet up outdoors. I didn’t see the point of wearing masks outside. Many shops should have reopened sooner. Some businesses were making ridiculous rules at random eg a shoe shop making me put pop socks on over my tights. It was disgraceful that people could not visit dying relatives.

But I also thought some caution over things like indoor concerts and nightclubs was needed. FFP3 masks were needed on covid wards. I was pleased with the development of vaccines. People with symptoms should have been cautious and stayed home. Etc.

And some rules were worth following even if I didn’t agree. It’s not being a sheep; it’s being pragmatic. Eg I had to wear a mask on the beach in Spain. I rolled my eyes but did it because I wanted a holiday. I would not have made my kid have different pick-up and drop-off times to prove my point. There would be little to be gained there. I would also not have let my child damage school property; it’s quite an aggressive gesture.

I don’t really think you are raising a critical thinker at all btw. You daughter was just brainwashed by you, like most people’s kids are influenced by their parents. I don’t agree with a shopkeeper shouting at her over going in the wrong direction in a shop though; some people lost the plot.

Perhaps try and think that the sanctimonious ones who reported neighbours etc were just very frightened. That helped me be around those who were OTT about it at the time.

I am not dwelling on it all now. The prolonged school closures is the one thing that makes me truly angry so I try not to think about it. There is nothing to gain by being so angry for so long.

No, Boris & co totally deserve that hauling over the coals because while telling everyone else what they should do and threatening police action, while ignoring the rules when it suited them to have a party, they displayed gross hypocrisy. Whether or not the rules in place at that point were correct or incorrect, it's unacceptable for the privileged to ignore them while creating and imposing them on others.

I know that many couldn't wear masks. That's not the case for the OP though, is it? She says she chose not to wear one outside. It was the school policy and they had to make special arrangements to accommodate her choice. Totally avoidable if she'd just put a mask on to walk through those gates.

Hence my comment.

Oh, stop being so obtuse. Op used her 6 year old to make a point, (to what actual benefit?) whilst lauding the child for her critical thinking skills and feeling immense pride that the child "takes no shit".
Ffs 🙄

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl

👏🏻 😂😂 "Nah my kids see me for the awesome, together non-neurotic person that I am. Not some histrionic fool who jumps to insults when they don’t like what they hear"

Same !!! And proud to be raising kids who also question stuff

Haha yep 😂😂🫣

Is there not some policy about locking these covid denier / conspiracy theory posts?

Eventually this thread will run out of steam because, contrary to her post, the OP is not distressed at all. I do feel sorry for the real life people around her. But as in real life, she is being abandoned by more rational people as she spouts her views. There’s more ‘supply’ on here but it will run out eventually. I feel so sorry for her children.

OFGS. Most of us wore masks because wearing masks and having our DCs at school, was a darn sight better than the alternative.

Calling people sheepies or whatever is just errant nonsense, as was making life just that bit harder for your DCs teachers who had no power to override the policies the government chose to have.

Yes, but wearing a mask outside when the school requests it doesn't impact your business.

You're conflating several things in an attempt to make a point.

I've already said I'm very sympathetic to many of OPs point, but not the COVID minimising and refusal to follow a specific guidelines which has no negative impact on her

All for a virus that, for the vast majority, is little more than a cold.
Again, more minimising @TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl.

The issue with SARS-COV-2 was never the virulence - this point has been laboured over and over again. The issue was having a certain number of people in the population ill or needing hospital care at any one time. You would have been the first to complain if a loved one died due to not being able to have emergency surgery - this is a very real consequence of things like supply chains breaking down and saturation of healthcare.

Yes, AIBU is generally horrible. Mumsnet is a bearpit and you see some of the worst sides of people.

Chat is a bit better and if you have specific areas that you're interested in those are generally better too. There really are lovely, generous and kind people here too.

Just avoid AIBU!

Masks outside wasn't a government policy though. It was the kind of baseless rule overenthusiastic people just started making up as they got swept along on the hysteria

Critiquing government policy (and even more so , weird rules people made up that had nothing to do with government policy).is absolutely not the same as being a COVID denier

So, you're annoyed that you had to comply with covid rules like most of us did?

Re the comments above about an 11 year old not being a little girl
I bet a penny to a pinch of shit she would be described as a little girl if this was the emergency alerts thread and someone was arguing the point that an emergency alert would help in the case of a missing child.