To not be over what happened to me during covid/lockdowns

[ifyougochasingrabbits]

Just a few of the things I went through

Losing my cleaning business i had built up over years overnight due to everyone cancelling us

Being humiliated by the headteacher at DC school shouting at me in front of other parents because I refused to wear a mask outside . My little girl being made to start school late and finish late because I was unable to wear a mask to collect her (school run was all outside I may add and I had no problem wearing masks in shops etc but I drew the line at in the fresh air outside)

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’d worked our arses off for for years to buy. Going through six months of trauma with H furloughed and depressed because his work could not guarantee he'd still have a job at the end of it. He was on half pay as furlough was only paid up to about 30k salary iirc and if you were on more it was employers discretion to pay the full salary which his work didn't. He was even applying for jobs at supermarkets and delivery driving etc and getting no where despite having a high level job at a major house builder.

Watching selfish morons stockpiling at the very beginning

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of covid and was struggling with restrictions and did not agree with them.

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends had views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.
And having to cope with the fact they supported restrictions that were destroying our lives and mental health

Having my business absolutely trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. Fake bad reviews etc. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page post that I didn't believe in masks in school (this was due to my kids really struggling with them) My 14 year old said he agreed and some of them then found him on fb and messaged him insulted his looks and called him stupid and a fucking moron etc. This was actual grown adults.

a random person inboxed me on Facebook due to seeing my business ad and threatened to "smash my face in" because she thinks i was “endangering lives” by working

My neighbour reporting us to the police for having an illegal gathering. This "illegal gathering" was me, my H and our 3 dc having a bbq in the garden. Needless to say we all live together

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety in fact I minimised it to the gp. I was actually suicidal and the only reason I am still here is because of my kids and the fact my husband and parents had the same views as me. But I would secretly hope to die in my sleep and almost every day I would wake up and cry because I was still here.

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids were doing and coping doing all their work, managing great. And knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut. One of my kids is still very unwell mentally and it all started with lockdowns

Oh and to add final insult to injury, in November 2021 I had to pay £5700 (which was part credit card and part all of our savings) privately for an operation that should have been freely available on the nhs. But cos covid they could not give me a date and I was getting more and more poorly and could not wait.

I am still angry and maybe I should get over it. But I can't. And There's probably more but these are the stand out moments. I'm doing okay now and I have a new business and I'm doing well, H has a new job as he could not trust his old place after covid. but I've been very low again recently with the anniversary of it all

Yeah. Sorry. If you were happy to wear a mask indoors, you were obviously perfectly capable of wearing wearing in the school playground.

I lost a couple of friends over their "covid is nothing to worry about" too. But I attended memorials to those that died, I worked in front line services and watched people suffering, and have too many friends who's lives have been devastated by long covid.

And yes. I should have read the full thread. But sorry not sorry.

Losing someone to covid makes you go 1 of 2 ways, you’re either very frightened or you think “fuck this it doesn’t get any worse” and you get out there and live. Ask me how I know…
(this is the polite version, the rude one involved “how fucking dare you, you patronising xxx)

I'm not sure if it's the same poster, but I've seen this drivel posted on MN before about PTSD only occurring in response to a life-threatening situation.

I work in this field and deal with people with PTSD and C-PTSD every single day.

I can categorically assure anyone reading @failedbluecup's post that it is complete bollocks.

Agree with everything you have said here OP- stories like this will be coming out for years to come.

Oh and ignore the lockdown lovers on here, most of them loved those times as they had some job that could be done on a computer, didn’t have to be sociable and only had to open their doors to delivery drivers who didn’t have the option to lock themselves away for months.

It was the school's line, not yours, outside on school property you follow their rules, even if you think they are daft.

Similar. I have an invisible disability that often leaves me unable to swallow or lift my head up off the pillow. But at other times on the surface I look well. A colleague chuckled to me to the other day about how they had the "moral high ground" as they had used the stairs at work while I had taken the lift.

Idiocy.

There is nothing wrong with encouraging DC to engage in critical thinking. If your child was told to walk off a cliff by an authority figure would that be acceptable? I do agree that a 6 year old doesn't have capacity to critically analyse,more likely she was trying to impress her mother.
Let's face it the government did not believe in their own laws as they broke them on multiple occasions. Being told to wear a mask outdoors was silly and the school were enforcing this out of anxiety. I'm actually ashamed I went along with batshit things for a quiet life.

Very few people at work know about my invisible disability. so no, you don't know. You cannot possibly know for certain. You can only assume

Agreed. We chat a lot with our children about the need to apply critical thinking before blindly following rules.

Rules should have a basis in science and logic not hysteria.

Some of the lockdown rules and guidance made sense, some (particularly those like masks in the playground, only one walk a day) had no basis in science and weren't ever laws just bizarre "guidance" at best

No I think its fine to challenge them and schools should listen and reflect

Our school came up with a batshit rule that it would be standing room only at the school play this Christmas (2022) "because of COVID".

Am not sure if they thought it spread through contact with chairs or what. Anyway it seemed obvious people would be less socially distanced not more if they were standing. I questioned it and so I imagine did a few other parents and thankfully the school changed their minds at the last minute.

But you challenge by speaking to the head or teachers, or raising a complaint via the appropriate method, not just by ignoring the rule like some 15 year old.

YABU. You chose not to wear a mask - why did you think the rules didn’t apply to you?

I was unable to visit my dying husband and was informed of his death via phone call - then was unable to give him a decent funeral.

meanwhile you’re on Facebook!

Why are YOUR kids so traumatised by missing school when ALL kids were in the same boat - perhaps they’re picking up on your feelings.

stop being so self indulgent - we all had to go through the pandemic and by your own admission things are going well for you - some of us will never get our loved ones back.

You sound like one of "those" families who let your 'spirited', 'feisty' kids do what they want as "they're expressing themselves, init" including bullying people and ruining property while you smile indulgently. Good luck when she reaches her late teens as she'll no doubt be a nightmare and you'll be clueless as to why 😂

I agree - there is and was no need for it. I still see the odd person wearing one outside now - when it's raining and damp!

OP I am sorry you had a bad time. Unfortunately if you challenged the received wisdom you were ostracised - there were plenty of examples of it here too - and indeed the first half of the very first response to your thread managed to be sanctimonious too.

Given that each staff member had an IRA, a process in which I was involved; and that special arrangements were made for those that were vulnerable to covid, or had relatives that were, which meant they were not required to come in, I think its amongst the safer of assumptions.
Of course, it's possible that those people chose to lie and pretend they weren't particularly vulnerable to covid; but given their preoccupation with avoiding the office, that would seem unlikely.

Some of the lockdown rules and guidance made sense, some (particularly those like masks in the playground, only one walk a day) had no basis in science and weren't ever laws just bizarre "guidance" at best

Indeed! Not driving for exercise was another one. Because we all have accidents and break downs every time we go out, apparently.

And we'll skip over things like the taping off supermarket aisles.

And that was in the UK - there were even more ridiculous rules in other countries.

When you have business you do not voice opinions on public pages really. That's SM for business 101

@ifyougochasingrabbits I can barely bring myself to talk about lockdowns because it makes me so angry and upset. But I sympathise with you. A friend of mine committed suicide because lockdown finished off his business. Another person I know committed suicide because she felt so isolated. MNHQ deleted a thread I started on the evils of lockdown and why I was not going to comply with the bastarding rules, because it was "triggering" - I'm guessing that it was because they were among the 'it's all great for me, me, me' crew and didn't want to piss off the huge majority of MNers who were enjoying their lovely big houses and gardens and getting paid to stay at home. God, I'm still so angry about it all. As for people not being able to see loved ones dying - if one of my adult DC had been in hospital on the verge of death, I would have killed anyone who tried to stop me seeing them. Or they would have had to have killed me. I still can't understand why so many people fell for the propaganda. <and breathe>

Ok so some of these I sympathise with and some I don't.

Regardless of your views on COVID, you were the one who made it hard to do pick ups and drop offs and so you are entirely to blame for your daughter's situation, and need to own up to that. you were also the one who expressed opinions that you knew others may not like and may have impacted others with high risk family members or close relatives/friends who died. You have to expect a backlash to that and you're very silly if you think otherwise.

The business, your husband's furlough and the operation I absolutely sympathise with and yes it was absolutely shit for things like that, loads of people won't recover financially from the lockdown period and it must have been awful, but we've been out of lockdown for basically two years now, it's time to strive for a better future rather than letting the past eat away at you, nothing good can come of it and you're only going to be more unhappy by doing it.

I've explained in my reply to the other person who asked how I know.

As for people not being able to see loved ones dying - if one of my adult DC had been in hospital on the verge of death, I would have killed anyone who tried to stop me seeing them. Or they would have had to have killed me. I still can't understand why so many people fell for the propaganda. <and breathe> People were prevented access. It is pointless saying what you think you would have done in the awful circumstances others found themselves in. You were not in their circumstances, for which you should be grateful. You wouldn’t have killed anyone and nobody would have killed you. You would simply have had no choice but to deal it, no matter how much you imagine some sort of dramatic twist.